Bleck

Beyond my personal long standing gripe about humanity and how stupid and needy humanity as a whole can be, life is plodding along. I am incredibly tired though, and really amazingly cold.

One of the major downsides to working in a library in the South is that to prevent moisture, the temperature has to be kept around frigid. Otherwise, nasty things like mold and rot develop in the books. This is a BAD THING. So, as a card carrying member of the freeze at the drop of a hat society, I wear multiple layers year round. Like now, I'm wearing slacks & a knit top (summer weight sweater), & a sweater jacket.

I have received the paperwork demanding my appearance at bankruptcy court and that is going to be a nerve wracking day. One that I will fortunately be able to forget all about by this time next year. I am, for probably the first time ever, looking forward to "next year." By then, I will have moved in with my mother, thus solving multiple problems while simultaneously creating a few dozen new ones. My chapter 13 bankruptcy case will be well underway and all I need to do is keep making my monthly payments while saving up the money to declare chapter 7. I will be able to devote more time to search for a better position. And life will have progressed to a new set of experiences, woes, joys, worries, and laughs. That is what I am really looking forward to.

Explanation point for those lucky souls who have never paid attention to bankruptcy - I am declaring chapter 13 bankruptcy which lets me reorganize my debts and pay $.10 on the dollar for 60 months. Chapter 7 completely wipes out all debts. The biggest difference, and the most telling in my situation, is that I can not come up with the necessary $800 to pay for a chapter 7 to be filed right now. A chapter 13 will only cost me $58/month, plus the $50-$100 I intend to save up until I can walk in to the lawyers office and plunk down that delightful cold cash.

I just read exmi's posting and, as usual, I agree with the man. I have been listening to NPR's talkshows and reading the news articles online, and here is my worthless opinion.

1. Recalling the troops from Iraq, Afghanistan, etc. will do nothing more than allow the already stained reputation of the U.S. to wallow even further in the mud. I have yet to see any explanation or scenario where recalling the troops home will accomplish anything beyond letting the already unstable situation devolve even further into genocide and religious intolerance at its finest.

2. Sheehan just pisses me off. There are several articles and "Letters to the Editor" and other such that gives finely tunes, reasoned discourse on the validity of her stance and the reasons she is a total flake.

I agree that losing her child in a war that is little more than an excuse to make money is not something anyone ever wants to go through and no one deserves to go through that particular version of hell. But if your child, no matter how old (or young) they are signs up for the military, then they at least knew what they were getting in to. The reality is that there are gazillions of ways to die and there is nothing different about how her son died vs how millions of others have died. The only reason that does make sense is old age or when some horrible disease is killing you in stages like cancer and it is a relief to finally die.

But the way Sheehan has placed her son over all the others who have died, made herself the spokesperson for all the parents of children who died, THAT pisses me off.

3. The gas price rise is getting old. I know that in a year or so it will be a matter of course to shell out $30 plus at the gas station, but it still freaking hurts. I'd rather spend that cash on other necessities - like food. Or if I was feeling really adventurous, maybe I would use the extra cash on things like the power bill.

4. exmi, I am sorry to say this, but I will not miss the trailer. It is pretty cool to live out there and the berry bushes have been divine, but I hate living that far out of town. I want a condo! Give me Wal-Mart! I want to be 10 minutes away from every restaurant! Screw having to drive 25 minutes just to get to the outskirts of town. I like being 2 minutes from Wal-Mart at my Mom's. I like being 10 minutes from their library. I vastly prefer driving the highways rather than the back roads. The lunatic drivers are easier for me to cope with on the highway and the number of deer attacking me drops dramatically.

Not to mention the number of pack hounds I have to save the dogs from drops from 5+ to zero. I really did not appreciate having those same hounds look at me like I was dinner. I have some serious objections, you know? Dogs are supposed to look up at you with big brown eyes and look soulful and adoring, NOT like crazed Cujo's from Hell.

Though in all fairness, I like how quiet it is, and how dark it gets at night. Being able to watch the lightening during thunder storms is beyond cool. Sitting in the living room and knowing that there is a fire going is really cool on a cold winter night. (Though I suppose nearly burning the place down is something I need to work on preventing. I failed fire safety, what can I say? The place is still standing after all.) Getting to paint all the walls and dramatically brighten the place up was seriously cool. Know that when I do move out, you are going to have to suffer through me unpacking for you makes for a fit of maniacal glee. Though I won't go too overboard there. The fact that I will be 2 hours away gives you all sorts of relieve there.

5. Moving in with my mother, sister, nephew, dog, and sister's 3 cats with all my stuff and my own 3 cats is going to be an experience, definitely a learning experience. I am not sure how we will emerge from this period in our lives. What I can predict is that my sister and I are going to have some serious fights. My mother is going to be annoyed and annoying.
My nephew will be wired for far too long.
The dog & I will lose weight.
The cats will try and kill each other on a daily basis.
The house will undergo various mini-facelifts while I am there.
I will be able to pare down my belongings to just what I want and need, and yet I am willing to bet I am still going to need more book shelves by December 2005.
My clothes are all going to develop a fine layer of cat and dog hair unless I am seriously vigilant because my closet will be a jury-rigged affair. (I am placing 4 sets of shelves a few feet from the 1 wall and placing those free standing clothes bars behind them. That's my closet!)
A lot of money will be saved.
I will have cable and DSL again.
I will further develop my hatred of yard work.
Anytime I get sick I will be in a special category of hell because according to my family, the only time I am really sick is if there is blood involved. Otherwise, I have no excuse for not going to work, getting the cat boxes cleaned, running my sister to class, getting the grocery shopping done, etc. Just because I have a temp. of 102 degrees, throwing up every time I turn around, and have passed out twice in the past hour, is no excuse.
Well, it is not that bad. It just always feels that bad when I get the flu or have 1 of my migraines, and there is no sympathy. I love sympathy when I get sick. I want lots of coddling when I am sick. Problem is that I can't stand anyone around me when I am sick. Makes for an interesting problem.

6. The spammers who post comments are really rather annoying. I am trying to remember who posted a way to block spammers on a blog while still allowing readers to post. Once I do that, life will be less annoying.

7. I also wish that some of the people I regularly read would post me. It gives me something to do on days like today when all the items on my "To Do" list were accomplished by 10am and I still have to be at work until 6pm. It is not so bad when there are a lot of patrons coming in and out, or if I have something to do, but I don't! And most of today's list of things to do fell under the category of "search for jobs," "read favorite blogs," and "send out resume." Well, I am done and while I intend to do more job searching, that only gets me so far. Especially since I have to look friendly and welcoming. That is so annoying. Why can't I be grimacing and frightening? I think it would speed up the patrons here at the library and maybe get the dumb ones out.