Well, it is Thanksgiving again. Personally, I will be grateful that it is over and all the food that I really do not want but absolutely adore will be put away and I will be back at work. I discovered years ago that I vastly prefer to be at work rather than at home with my family and all the expectations that are never ever met.
I know that this is not an uncommon phenomena. Movies have been made about it after all. It still is astonishing how so many people will go out of their way to have the "perfect holiday season." Truthfully, every year my "perfect holiday" becomes simpler and more isolated. Right now, I would prefer to be alone in a warm, comfy suite or cabin. Have my cats and a stash of juicy romance novels (& maybe a few fantasy & bios for something approaching weighty), and some wine with various bath products waiting to be consumed. No one else, just me. No big meals, just fruit & veggie trays with cheese and veggie burgers, yogurt and juice, maybe even various teas. No real dishes, just quiet relaxation. Oh, and a decent CD player and a TV/DVD player so I can watch movies when I tire of reading and lounging in the tub.
Oh well. I do have a lot to be thankful for. I am reasonably healthy. I am active. I have a good, working car. I have my own room with my own bed and access to all of my books. I am reasonably thin and have started eating right and have been losing inches. My cats are healthy and have made it abundantly clear how much they love me. I have good friends who give a serious damn about me. I am single and childless - a major blessing in my book. My family is alive and kicking with all the recent deaths being of the expected variety. There are twins on the way and several weddings coming up. My friends are all doing well in their lives on all the levels I know of. The world has yet to blow itself up, and that means the running hot & cold water still works. There are lots of good writers out there I am learning about and getting to read. My practicing of yoga has reached the point where I am FINALLY ready to go to the next level. I am no longer working at the Effingham Library and have a job that I enjoy, despite the lack of hours and benefits. :-~ And the list goes on. And it is a pretty damn good list.
All the items I want to improve will fall in to place and I am working on taking the necessary steps to make the positive changes I want to make. I have managed to locate several websites dedicated to the type of jobs I want. I have updated and massively improved my resume. My cover letter has never looked so good and there are people willing to be a reference. All that is left is holding on and trusting that there is a plan and that it includes me getting 1 of the positions I am applying for.
Life is good. And while I am not happy or excited, I am at peace and definitely enjoying a level of contentment I am surprised to recognize. Yes, there are issues with my family, but they are based on my need/desire to be alone. Yes, there are negative factors, but I can do nothing but what I am doing until I start earning a better pay check. As it is, financially, I am doing better than I have in a long time. A fact that adds to my sense of peacefulness that I only recently starting to acknowledge and am trying to develop further. So while I was fired in February of this year, I would have to say that I am honestly grateful for that dismissal. If I had not been fired, I doubt if I would have made any of the changes I have made and learned any of the lessons I have learned, and gained this level of contentment and peace.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Another Week
Well, life has been just oodles of fun. I really need to get another job. I am so tired of living pay check to pay check. I want to know just what a savings account is again. I also am having strong emotions this weekend because instead of getting paid on Friday, like we are SUPPOSED to be, I had to wait until about 2:00 p.m. Saturday to get my check. Seems that the person who was to deliver the paychecks to where I work bailed out sick and no one thought that, oh, yeah, some of the staff is at the nursery and would alos like their paychecks until we called. Some reason that grates.
And let's not forget my utter hatred of living with my family. Just because I do love and adore them is no reason what so ever to even think I want to live with them. What really bites is that on many levels my being here is making my mother happier than she has been and I am accomplishing a lot for all three of them. Since I DESPERATELY want my independence back, this is not something I care to contemplate all that closely, you know?
Some of the news lately that has caught my attention -
Rumsfield has FINALLY been fired. I just have to wonder why the hell it took so long.
The gay marriage ban/state constitutional amendment was passed here in SC. I disagree with that, not least because I see no reason why marriage has to be so narrowly defined. I feel that if a couple wants to tie themselves together, then let them. Any way you look at it, the lawyers are winning this battle.
It is Veteran's Day and there are several parades and ceremonies going on that have been really rather sweet. My favorite local event was when the local schools held an open house and invited vets to come visit and have lunch with the kids. That should be done more often.
There is a cookbook out called "How to Feed An Army," by Jim Lewin. It is all about cooking for 10 to 100 and I am seriously thinking of getting it, if no other reason than the money goes for troop support. That and the bit on amazon.com is rather funny.
I am also horribly confused by something and if anyone can explain this to me, I would appreciate it. But why do people say that Mrs. X is their 2nd mother? Or Ms. Y is their 2nd daughter? That Mrs. X helped raise them? I have never understood this at all. This phenomena crossed my radar recently when my boss said she could not leave until she told 1 of her employees good bye because she was just like her mother. Now, am I the only person who sees all sorts of issues inherent in that statement? I know it has no impact on me at all, but it still creeps me out.
That is probably because I have plenty with my own natural mother as well as my step mother. I have no desire, longing, need, want, craving, whatever for another mother to step in to my life and help me manage my life.
And let's not forget my utter hatred of living with my family. Just because I do love and adore them is no reason what so ever to even think I want to live with them. What really bites is that on many levels my being here is making my mother happier than she has been and I am accomplishing a lot for all three of them. Since I DESPERATELY want my independence back, this is not something I care to contemplate all that closely, you know?
Some of the news lately that has caught my attention -
Rumsfield has FINALLY been fired. I just have to wonder why the hell it took so long.
The gay marriage ban/state constitutional amendment was passed here in SC. I disagree with that, not least because I see no reason why marriage has to be so narrowly defined. I feel that if a couple wants to tie themselves together, then let them. Any way you look at it, the lawyers are winning this battle.
It is Veteran's Day and there are several parades and ceremonies going on that have been really rather sweet. My favorite local event was when the local schools held an open house and invited vets to come visit and have lunch with the kids. That should be done more often.
There is a cookbook out called "How to Feed An Army," by Jim Lewin. It is all about cooking for 10 to 100 and I am seriously thinking of getting it, if no other reason than the money goes for troop support. That and the bit on amazon.com is rather funny.
I am also horribly confused by something and if anyone can explain this to me, I would appreciate it. But why do people say that Mrs. X is their 2nd mother? Or Ms. Y is their 2nd daughter? That Mrs. X helped raise them? I have never understood this at all. This phenomena crossed my radar recently when my boss said she could not leave until she told 1 of her employees good bye because she was just like her mother. Now, am I the only person who sees all sorts of issues inherent in that statement? I know it has no impact on me at all, but it still creeps me out.
That is probably because I have plenty with my own natural mother as well as my step mother. I have no desire, longing, need, want, craving, whatever for another mother to step in to my life and help me manage my life.
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