I have been reading blogs suggested byhttp://ryansthinking.blogspot.com/, among them http://sfalphageek.blogspot.com. I just want to know how they have the time! I am not the most techno oriented soul but I spend a truly depressing amount of time sitting in front of a computer screen. Yet these guys must spend their entire day in front of their screens! To be able to read all of the blogs and various emails & accomplish anything related to work while still having a life, which they both seem to have, is truly amazing to me.
The other point of amazement is how they are willing to spend so much time studying and remembering various points of data that 99% of humanity really does not care about. While Ryan is a librarian at a university, so his speed in locating a complete copy of the American anthem is not surprising. What is surprising is that he knew the facts and was able to fill in the blanks.
In sfalphageek's blog, he discusses various military historical turning points and other arcane military matters. Personally, I am more interested in the stories and hope he does post pictures than the military debates, but that he knows all these details amazes me.
Now the depressing part. Why do I find myself in awe of these 2 bloggers? And all the others who participate in their online discussions? Because most of the people I deal with on a daily basis have a hard time realizing that Wal-Mart is not the world's best babysitter and entertainment center ever created. I have developed acquaintances, who might not be what I'd consider friends, who have never driven the 30 miles down the road to Savannah and are literally terrified to the point of nausea of doing so.
The people I talk with here at my work (a public library) are all warm, kind, open-hearted souls. They will do anything for you and are willing to listen to your life story, all your aches & pains, family traumas, and still show up to help you move that fridge. But most of them have never read anything more demanding than Agatha Christie. Several find her too difficult to understand & find her "strange" because she writes about locations far different than coastal Georgia.
I find myself slowly losing my sanity, not to mention my vocabulary and desire for travel. I have a strong guilt complex, nicely complimented by my streak of resentment, as I talk with my oh so friendly regulars because they are so happy here in their small little worlds. They have no desire to see if the locations described in their favorite novels are as depicted. The thought of looking up an unfamiliar word is completely anathema to most because it is so much easier to either skip over the word & what it means to the story, or just close the book and forget it.
I can not do that any longer. I have reached a point where I am either going to have to give in the that all powerful peer pressure and get married & have children or leave. I am so tired of hearing how it is just a matter of time before I will want to have children of my own. How someday soon the right man will come along and I'll be thrilled to pieces because he wants to take care of me. And, oh, wouldn't it be just grand if he was rich enough that I did not have to work again?
It makes me sick. I like taking care of myself and knowing that if I fuck up, it is my own fault. And if I do, or do not, succeed it is because I did it. It is not because I am someone's wife/girlfriend. It is because I did it. Watching some of the mothers/wives I see, I could no more trade places with them than I could go back in time and live happily ever after as a lady-in-waiting in Queen Elizabeth's court. Or even worse, in medieval Europe at any social level. Yuck!
Going off on a tangent, but why does the idea of traveling back in time to become the lord of the castles bride appeal to the masses of women who buy those romances? I know that is the pot calling the kettle black seeing as how I have several of those romances sitting on my "Bath Time Read's" shelf, but let's have a reality check.
First & foremost, the odds of the lord of the castle even being in a position to meet and fall for a time traveling modern woman are rather slim. Then there are the harsh realities of life back in jolly old England. It was dirty, sucky, and incredibly harsh. There are reasons why the wealthy had all that armor & it was because there was someone is in armor who wanted that castle over on the hill. So the odds of a battle of some sort or the other were rather high. Might only be some small cattle stealing, but still.
Then there is that entire hygiene thing. I am a princess personality & I wallow in that aspect, but not even the most accommodating soul, so deeply in love that nothing would matter, would be willing to cope with nonexistent plumbing, no real showers, rotting teeth, no aspirin or clean bandages, the threat of being driven out just because of being a wee bit strange, giving birth without real medical knowledge, going through a menstrual cycle without tampons or pads & lots of chocolate, and all for the joy of being with the person you adore more than life itself. The food choices alone are enough to make a complete vegetarian from now till doomsday.
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Random Thoughts
Just some thoughts I have had recently -
1. Why is it that almost all movies about the end of the world involve a catholic priest or nun? Can anyone name a movie where it was a southern baptist minister? A mormon elder? A menonite? How about a preacher? Why must it always be a catholic? Talk about stereotypes!
2. Has anyone but me noticed the way pop fiction has started relying on sex and not that old fashioned thing called a plot? Or am I mistaken in this? I am not saying that all writers are turning into sex fanatics, but there have to be well writen books that do not involve sex. And I am not talking about what is known as "inspirational fiction." That stuff is remarkably annoying by my standards. I have found some authors worth reading, but the angst the characters feel because the person they are falling in love with has issues with God and does/has not followed the same path to God makes me ill.
3. Which leads in to my next random point, who made the decision that there is only one path to God? And why is it always the same path that the person speaking has taken is the one, true way? Hasn't it occurred to these people that their way is just that? Their way! I get rather tired of hearing how someone is such a strong believer or whatever because they go to whatever church and do all the so-called right things in a dramatic, public fashion. I find it rather sickening.
And thats all folks!
1. Why is it that almost all movies about the end of the world involve a catholic priest or nun? Can anyone name a movie where it was a southern baptist minister? A mormon elder? A menonite? How about a preacher? Why must it always be a catholic? Talk about stereotypes!
2. Has anyone but me noticed the way pop fiction has started relying on sex and not that old fashioned thing called a plot? Or am I mistaken in this? I am not saying that all writers are turning into sex fanatics, but there have to be well writen books that do not involve sex. And I am not talking about what is known as "inspirational fiction." That stuff is remarkably annoying by my standards. I have found some authors worth reading, but the angst the characters feel because the person they are falling in love with has issues with God and does/has not followed the same path to God makes me ill.
3. Which leads in to my next random point, who made the decision that there is only one path to God? And why is it always the same path that the person speaking has taken is the one, true way? Hasn't it occurred to these people that their way is just that? Their way! I get rather tired of hearing how someone is such a strong believer or whatever because they go to whatever church and do all the so-called right things in a dramatic, public fashion. I find it rather sickening.
And thats all folks!
Friday, April 15, 2005
Recent Reads
I have just read several books and have all sorts of opinions to announce.
The first book I am going to air my veiws on is David Weber's We Few. The book was great, but someone, please tell me that there will be another book in the series! I hate when a series is wrapped up in a manner that leaves openings for another series. I want tidy endings. A flaw, but in my reading I feel free to demand them because Lord knows they never happen in real life. My so-called love life is a testament to that.
And no, I am not going to talk about plot details and such because unless you have read it, them I am giving neat details away. So, after saying that, let me say that the restaurant was really cool. The descriptions were just neat & I enjoyed the use of references to locations I might actually be able to find on a real map, even though the setting of the book is some day in the far far distant future. The strong female characters was another plus for me, along with the theory on why women have breasts.
The other book, that was also fun, is Laurell Hamilton's Stroke of Midnight. That was a fun read, but enough of the sex! I like sex as much as anyone, but I like having a plot to support the sex. Mindless sex is only fun when you are in you 20's. After a while, it gets stale - pun intended. This book was an improvement over the past few of hers. This one actually serves a purpose.
It is NOT a stand alone book, but it does help tie together the series and the Celtic myth interpretations are rather interesting. Hamilton is definitely a literalist, thats for sure.
The rest of this weeks reading have all been romantic trash. Some Nora Roberts, Jayne Ann Krentz, those supermarket paperbacks, etc. I loved it!
The first book I am going to air my veiws on is David Weber's We Few. The book was great, but someone, please tell me that there will be another book in the series! I hate when a series is wrapped up in a manner that leaves openings for another series. I want tidy endings. A flaw, but in my reading I feel free to demand them because Lord knows they never happen in real life. My so-called love life is a testament to that.
And no, I am not going to talk about plot details and such because unless you have read it, them I am giving neat details away. So, after saying that, let me say that the restaurant was really cool. The descriptions were just neat & I enjoyed the use of references to locations I might actually be able to find on a real map, even though the setting of the book is some day in the far far distant future. The strong female characters was another plus for me, along with the theory on why women have breasts.
The other book, that was also fun, is Laurell Hamilton's Stroke of Midnight. That was a fun read, but enough of the sex! I like sex as much as anyone, but I like having a plot to support the sex. Mindless sex is only fun when you are in you 20's. After a while, it gets stale - pun intended. This book was an improvement over the past few of hers. This one actually serves a purpose.
It is NOT a stand alone book, but it does help tie together the series and the Celtic myth interpretations are rather interesting. Hamilton is definitely a literalist, thats for sure.
The rest of this weeks reading have all been romantic trash. Some Nora Roberts, Jayne Ann Krentz, those supermarket paperbacks, etc. I loved it!
Monday, April 04, 2005
Tired Today
I am tired today. It is a constant source of amazement to me that I am perfectly healthy, but thanks to an odd ball disease (fibromyalgia), I have a difficult time keeping my eyes open or having the energy to cope with anything. Being angry does not help and having a rapidly disappearing well of patience does not help either.
I have to make decisions about my future, and that is so confusing. I always envy people who just do. I have never been that brave. I agonize for months before I do anything. Probably the only reason I do not go insane is because I never look back. That cliche about how hind sight is always 20/20 floats through my mind, and rather than torturing myself more, I continue agonizing over what is ahead of me. Far safer.
All I do know is that I intend to move away from here. Where is a rather large question because I would like to have a job, but getting out of this area is becoming more and more of a necessity for me. I hav no regrets about the past 15 years, but if I want to keep it that way, I need to leave. I am hoping for any of the jobs I have applied for to work out, but my luck is rather cruddy. Hope only carries you so far, and then the harsh reality that your resume is not getting the interviews slaps you in the face. So then the doubts sneak in. Wondering what else could be worded differently. Whether you are applying for the right jobs. If your resume shows how screwy your career is or if it is just you.
So the self-help books get pulled out and all those affirmations still do nothing but show how negative you have become, so the fear that all the negativity is showing up in your resume and the human resources people can tell. And the paranoia deepens.
Rather ridiculous, but there you have it.
I have to make decisions about my future, and that is so confusing. I always envy people who just do. I have never been that brave. I agonize for months before I do anything. Probably the only reason I do not go insane is because I never look back. That cliche about how hind sight is always 20/20 floats through my mind, and rather than torturing myself more, I continue agonizing over what is ahead of me. Far safer.
All I do know is that I intend to move away from here. Where is a rather large question because I would like to have a job, but getting out of this area is becoming more and more of a necessity for me. I hav no regrets about the past 15 years, but if I want to keep it that way, I need to leave. I am hoping for any of the jobs I have applied for to work out, but my luck is rather cruddy. Hope only carries you so far, and then the harsh reality that your resume is not getting the interviews slaps you in the face. So then the doubts sneak in. Wondering what else could be worded differently. Whether you are applying for the right jobs. If your resume shows how screwy your career is or if it is just you.
So the self-help books get pulled out and all those affirmations still do nothing but show how negative you have become, so the fear that all the negativity is showing up in your resume and the human resources people can tell. And the paranoia deepens.
Rather ridiculous, but there you have it.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Latest Reading
As a public library manager, some of my reading choices are rather vile, but I am a control freak & feel the need to keep up with what John Q. Public is reading. But am I the only person stunned at how awful some of this pap is? I admit to being addicted to the silly romance novels & enjoy re-reading the Walter Farley's, C.S. Lewis Narnia series, and such, but since when has it been necessary to dumb down kids books?
(I apologize for the stream of consciousness approach, but I'm at work & these silly people keep interrupting me.)
I've been skimming a lot of the teen & juvenile books lately & am rather horrified to discover that they are reaching the point of drivel. The reason I find this so horrifying is because so many of the so called adult books have become excuses to air personal nuerosis so I have been relying on the teen books as a way to keep from developing any more of my own.
(I apologize for the stream of consciousness approach, but I'm at work & these silly people keep interrupting me.)
I've been skimming a lot of the teen & juvenile books lately & am rather horrified to discover that they are reaching the point of drivel. The reason I find this so horrifying is because so many of the so called adult books have become excuses to air personal nuerosis so I have been relying on the teen books as a way to keep from developing any more of my own.
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