Dreamt that I was standing at a paparde of some sort, talking with friends when the guy beside me made a comment that had me looking at him and asking if I looked to be 100 years old. He panicked and left.
(gee wonder why?)
Next, I was in a carriage with the same friends & we went to a spa where they treated me to a day but I went to find the dressing room & got lost. That is when my alarm went off.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Sigh
I am in a delightful position - again. I wonder how people do it, those who can go all their life and follow some "plan." I am not talking about the novel version where the main character has a plan for each stage of their life. I am talking about the smaller, 5 year plans that let a person get from this point of success to that point of success. I am not "hurting" by any stretch, but I have not truly achieved anything beyond growing up, NOT having children & getting a Master's degree. But I have accomplished nothing else & am now trying to make decsions that will not be good choices on any level. They will be decisions that allow me to best help either my family or my friends. I know my family will win, but I really want to have the income so that I am not an additional drain on my family.
My father will not survive much past my step-mother who has cancer. Yes, it was caught early enough, yes, it is being treated aggressively. She is over 65, however, & has a history of medical problems. Odds are not in her favor & my father does not just adore her, he is completely dependent upon her. I am terrified of what will happen when she passes on.
My mother is also aging & on many levels has already given up. She hurts, her legs are giving out underneath her to th point she has additional damage. She has a thyroid condition, borderline diabetic, & a host of other borderline diseases which I get to look forward to, esp. since Dad has them as well.
Yeah, I have GREAT genes. Just another reason to NEVER have kids & pass on these flawed genetics.
Anyway, I also have a good job that is going to be going to the next level soon & I am excited about that. I guess the problem is that I am not excited about the fighting that will be necessary to get to that level. I am not refrring to corporate in-fighting or sheer work type of fighting. I am talking about making the partners work and agree.
My father will not survive much past my step-mother who has cancer. Yes, it was caught early enough, yes, it is being treated aggressively. She is over 65, however, & has a history of medical problems. Odds are not in her favor & my father does not just adore her, he is completely dependent upon her. I am terrified of what will happen when she passes on.
My mother is also aging & on many levels has already given up. She hurts, her legs are giving out underneath her to th point she has additional damage. She has a thyroid condition, borderline diabetic, & a host of other borderline diseases which I get to look forward to, esp. since Dad has them as well.
Yeah, I have GREAT genes. Just another reason to NEVER have kids & pass on these flawed genetics.
Anyway, I also have a good job that is going to be going to the next level soon & I am excited about that. I guess the problem is that I am not excited about the fighting that will be necessary to get to that level. I am not refrring to corporate in-fighting or sheer work type of fighting. I am talking about making the partners work and agree.
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
Dreams
Well, I do believe that I am getting sick. How do I know this? After sending the kids off to school this morning, I went back to bed. There I had a truly strange dream. I dreamt that was living in a small town, it was winter due to the clue that I was cold & bundled up for the funeral of the child I was attending. Though I was concerned about the legality of the funeral because it was a shape shifter & while the mortuary was involved, it was not "on the books" so the speak. I remember offering my condolences to the family & they told me how much they appreciated my coming & once the father was no longer a cat, he would appreciate it as well.
I dreamt that I was disappointed in my white washed cinder block apartment, not because it was cinder blocks, but because I did not have all of my stuff yet.
I also dreamt that I was making out with a shape shifter who was part sea creature & we had to be careful because he developed claws along his abs & groin when aroused so we had to be careful of angles.
That is when I woke up to a lot of banging.
I dreamt that I was disappointed in my white washed cinder block apartment, not because it was cinder blocks, but because I did not have all of my stuff yet.
I also dreamt that I was making out with a shape shifter who was part sea creature & we had to be careful because he developed claws along his abs & groin when aroused so we had to be careful of angles.
That is when I woke up to a lot of banging.
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