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I am just rambling today. I am on break having my tea and figured I would entertain myself this way. I have already done today's chores so I have been reading blocs. One that I got a kick out of is the spinster war diaries. She has a post up about how unfair it is that some of the ugliest and/or bitchiest get boyfriends, but she (& many other normal women) have no one.

I have a theory but its not quite perfect, so this is my sounding board. Feel free to edit, correct, dispute, or agree to hearts content.

Part of the reason so many truly ugly women have boyfriends/husbands is because they are "safe." A man knows that a woman with a lot of extra weight is going to do her best to make him happy. Or if she is never going to win any prizes for looks, then once again, he can be a complete ass and she will smile and say nothing. And if she has no teeth? Well, there is a sick male fantasy involving a short woman and no teeth that solves that mini-mystery.

And the drop dead gorgeous women? They end up married fairly quickly because of that competition aspect of humanity. If a truly beautiful woman is not married then it is because she made the choice.

So why are there so many normal/average women not married? Because we are not "safe," but there is no need to hurry up and compete for our attention. We will still be there when the guys are done wandering, though since we demand something of the men in our lives we are too much effort for those men who want a nice "safe" relationship. Granted by the time men notice we are breathing, tempers are a bit frayed and the smiling compromise era is over. There is no way that anyone over the age of 26 is going to retire in silence when a difference of opinion comes up. The ability to stand up for yourself has been learned and perfected by that point.

This is just a working theory with numerous holes and I know it. But it is a start and it helps me keep my temper.

I hate to think of what I come sort of personality I come across as having on this blog. I am anything but blood thirsty, and I am awful at handling confrontations. Yet I use this blog as my way of venting and what comes across is probably an extremely anti-social bitch.

Hmmm . . .

Maybe not so far off there.

Now all I have to do is find a safe way to vent about family & my version of a love life and all will be wonderful. Which reminds me, why is it so necessary for people to be married? I am asked on average once a day if I am married and if I have kids. The answer is a definite no. I sometimes smile while saying "NO!" but it is still a giant no. So what is the deal? Why is it so hard for others to comprehend that I know myself well enough to have the self-knowledge that marriage would be a bad idea for me? (And yes, I was just asked - AGAIN!)

I know that I am anti-social after working all day. The odds are rather high that I do not want to go out for dinner, drinks, or a movie. I get the wigglies when forced to bars and other local hang outs, especially if they are noisy and crowded. Large groups of people leave me with a massive headache and utterly exhausted. So why would I want to torture myself for fun? The closest to enjoying a large group of people is when I go to meetings and conferences. That is only because I know most of the people, it will be under controlled circumstances and I know when I will be able to get mental breaks, and I tend to get "stuff." I am always fond of getting more stuff after all. I also enjoy going to zoos and museums, but that is not quite the same thing.

I also know that I do not trust that many people to get close on any level. I have yet to come across any reason why I should be willing to develop trust with more people. And I definitely have yet to come across any reason why I should be willing to trust anyone to the point that I want to not only spend the rest of my life with them, but share a bed with them as well. I have a rough enough time sleeping as it is!

The weirdness factor comes from the fact that I have little to no personal modesty and tend not to notice people physically unless they resemble an ugly animal or just smell bad. Those individuals, I just tend to avoid because I have a hard time not asking dumb questions like, "you do know that you look like a bull frog?" Or even worse, "when was the last time you took a shower?"