This past Saturday a girl friend & I had 1 of those conversations that no one ever wants to have because there is not a damn thing you can do. One of the individuals she works with came on a LOT strong and nearly did not listen when she said no - repeatedly. Since I know her & her idea of seduction is a candle-lite dinner for 2 at home, NOT a dinner & drinks with 5 other co-workers at TGIFridays, I think this scum sucking bastard needs his heart pulled out with a spork. But that is just me.
Once we got past that point (and boy am I a liar), we talked about how someday she would find Mr. Right for Her. Thanks to Mr. Scum Sucking Bastard, she has a few more trust & intimacy issues, but since I have been there, I have a good idea on how to make her laugh & keep hope.
You see, I have a theory. If you kiss someone and it reminds you of a food, then skip it. NO ONE tastes like chocolate, so if you think "bologne," "garlic," coffee," "pasta," salami," whatever, then obviously they are not the right one for you. It has worked for me. And if you kiss someone, and they taste like them, a mystical sensation that I can not explain, then all is good.
I still want to rip the bastard's throat out, but I can't do anything but growl and make her promise to keep all contact to a minimum and any time they have to be together, let me know so that I can call at pre-determined times. Which reminds me, I need to email her & get that in writing.
You see, I have a theory. If you kiss someone and it reminds you of a food, then skip it. NO ONE tastes like chocolate, so if you think "bologne," "garlic," coffee," "pasta," salami," whatever, then obviously they are not the right one for you.
ReplyDeleteHmm...
I can't remember the last time I kissed someone that tasted like food.
What a dick.
ReplyDeletezs - most of the people I have kissed over the years have reminded me of a flavor. Several not so good options including ash trays & nyquil. Its rare for me not to taste something when I kiss.
ReplyDeletert - you have no idea how strongly I agree
Funny, I'm a non-smoker (well, about five cigarettes a year, I'll smoke if I had a lot to drink with other smokers) and I actually like the taste of cigarettes on a cute girl's lips. Although, it's been a long time. Mrs. Z quit smoking long ago.
ReplyDeleteI rarely smoke any more myself Usually when I am 1 step away from saying a LOT of things should not so a smoke is a lot safer than running the risk of losing my job.
ReplyDeleteThe taste of cigarettes is 1 I can go either way on. It is when I also taste Nyquil, garlic, and/or sandwich meat that I get queasy. The taste of any sandwich meat is a definite turn off, and that is what I usually taste when I kiss.
You know, this is what I always think about when I watch movies and the couple go out to dinner and go back home to make out. I personally don't want to do that, and usually just do a quick kiss.
ReplyDeleteI don't like to eat and then have a heavy make-out session, it's unattractive to me.
But there are some tastes that I have been told they like, like: candy, bubblegum and scented lipgloss.
Plus, it depends on the kind of kiss too.
Plus, that guy was just an idiot.