I am amazed

I have been reading blogs suggested byhttp://ryansthinking.blogspot.com/, among them http://sfalphageek.blogspot.com. I just want to know how they have the time! I am not the most techno oriented soul but I spend a truly depressing amount of time sitting in front of a computer screen. Yet these guys must spend their entire day in front of their screens! To be able to read all of the blogs and various emails & accomplish anything related to work while still having a life, which they both seem to have, is truly amazing to me.

The other point of amazement is how they are willing to spend so much time studying and remembering various points of data that 99% of humanity really does not care about. While Ryan is a librarian at a university, so his speed in locating a complete copy of the American anthem is not surprising. What is surprising is that he knew the facts and was able to fill in the blanks.

In sfalphageek's blog, he discusses various military historical turning points and other arcane military matters. Personally, I am more interested in the stories and hope he does post pictures than the military debates, but that he knows all these details amazes me.

Now the depressing part. Why do I find myself in awe of these 2 bloggers? And all the others who participate in their online discussions? Because most of the people I deal with on a daily basis have a hard time realizing that Wal-Mart is not the world's best babysitter and entertainment center ever created. I have developed acquaintances, who might not be what I'd consider friends, who have never driven the 30 miles down the road to Savannah and are literally terrified to the point of nausea of doing so.

The people I talk with here at my work (a public library) are all warm, kind, open-hearted souls. They will do anything for you and are willing to listen to your life story, all your aches & pains, family traumas, and still show up to help you move that fridge. But most of them have never read anything more demanding than Agatha Christie. Several find her too difficult to understand & find her "strange" because she writes about locations far different than coastal Georgia.

I find myself slowly losing my sanity, not to mention my vocabulary and desire for travel. I have a strong guilt complex, nicely complimented by my streak of resentment, as I talk with my oh so friendly regulars because they are so happy here in their small little worlds. They have no desire to see if the locations described in their favorite novels are as depicted. The thought of looking up an unfamiliar word is completely anathema to most because it is so much easier to either skip over the word & what it means to the story, or just close the book and forget it.

I can not do that any longer. I have reached a point where I am either going to have to give in the that all powerful peer pressure and get married & have children or leave. I am so tired of hearing how it is just a matter of time before I will want to have children of my own. How someday soon the right man will come along and I'll be thrilled to pieces because he wants to take care of me. And, oh, wouldn't it be just grand if he was rich enough that I did not have to work again?

It makes me sick. I like taking care of myself and knowing that if I fuck up, it is my own fault. And if I do, or do not, succeed it is because I did it. It is not because I am someone's wife/girlfriend. It is because I did it. Watching some of the mothers/wives I see, I could no more trade places with them than I could go back in time and live happily ever after as a lady-in-waiting in Queen Elizabeth's court. Or even worse, in medieval Europe at any social level. Yuck!

Going off on a tangent, but why does the idea of traveling back in time to become the lord of the castles bride appeal to the masses of women who buy those romances? I know that is the pot calling the kettle black seeing as how I have several of those romances sitting on my "Bath Time Read's" shelf, but let's have a reality check.

First & foremost, the odds of the lord of the castle even being in a position to meet and fall for a time traveling modern woman are rather slim. Then there are the harsh realities of life back in jolly old England. It was dirty, sucky, and incredibly harsh. There are reasons why the wealthy had all that armor & it was because there was someone is in armor who wanted that castle over on the hill. So the odds of a battle of some sort or the other were rather high. Might only be some small cattle stealing, but still.

Then there is that entire hygiene thing. I am a princess personality & I wallow in that aspect, but not even the most accommodating soul, so deeply in love that nothing would matter, would be willing to cope with nonexistent plumbing, no real showers, rotting teeth, no aspirin or clean bandages, the threat of being driven out just because of being a wee bit strange, giving birth without real medical knowledge, going through a menstrual cycle without tampons or pads & lots of chocolate, and all for the joy of being with the person you adore more than life itself. The food choices alone are enough to make a complete vegetarian from now till doomsday.