I am so horribly confused. I enjoy this job. I like this job. I like the people I work with & for. The hours are perfect given the demands of my personal life. I enjoy the actual work of my job. Unfortunately, there are several big, looming BUTS that detract from my pleasure and I am not sure if I should wait & see or follow the "damn the torpedo" philosophy.
To explain - I am working at a garden nursery for $8/hour, 15-30 hours a week, no benefits, and only perk is a 30% discount on everything & an incredibly nice work environment. Oh, & a HUGE weight loss program because you sweat so much you lose at least 5 lbs. a day. It helps that this job is less than a mile away from home so I walk to work, saving gas & losing weight.
However, the downside is that the landlord is not going to renew in a year so the entire business will be moving, probably closer to Hilton Head, which is nothing I really like to think about. I will never work more than part time, and while there will be pay raises, they are incremental and after my 6 month raise, I won't see another for a year. Which is standard & perfectly OK. If I want to make this a career choice, then I am going to have to go back to school and start learning about plants, their growth cycles, pests, diseases, etc. Do-able, but I am so bloody tired still from my last foray into higher education and my last job as a librarian. I am not sure I will be able to face going back to school for a LOOOONG time.
I also do not want to spend the rest of my life in this area. I really want to move to the Tennessee, Kentucky, Virginia area. I like the areas, I'd be closer to the majority of my friends, my family would be closer. That is once my mom retired & moved in 6 years. My sister is already studying the job market in Tennessee & intends to move once her son is in about 5th grade.
I would like to regain my independence again and have a real bathroom I can take a real bath in without arguing for a week before & after. I'd like to have a real pay check so that I can go to various locations & visit them, playing tourist on occasion. And let's not talk about benefits & their attraction!
But I genuinely like this current job & I do not know what to do & which way to jump any more. I have my parents nagging me, my anti-social tendencies getting harder & harder to surpress, and I am confused!
I'm sorry your job is moving, that sucks. See if you can take a few classes online or Saturday. 15-30 hours a week is flexible, it doesn't sound like you have set hours, is it different hours on different days? That will be the only problem if you were to go back to school.
ReplyDeleteIf you can work a real part time schedule and have set hours then at least you can be in a job you like, in a career you like and making a little pocket money.
You have to focus on the job and school because that is the only way you will have any of the rest of the stuff you like (bathroom included). BELIEVE ME I know about wanting to have a real paycheck, my office looks so nice and professional and you'd think I was making more than $9.25/hr. Yep, that's what I said for all that damn confusing work.
I have made a plan to try and get through each month, pay off my bills like a banshee and get through to next year. I'm going to quit after a year, and get another job, this is not a position to retire on, I'll tell you that. But I have to pay off my bills, I hate that I'm so in debt with a job I don't even like.
You want to start over in an entirely new direction with horiticulture, that may be a big step, and it's always big when you NEED to work too.
I think you should stay with the job, hopefully even after it moves, and keep getting experience. Maybe soon you can get a better, full time job because of the experience there.
In some situations experience wins out over school, but I always think that everyone wants experience more. I think sticking with the job a while longer then getting back into school is a better choice.
That is what I am leaning towards, though part of my reasoning is that I have too many personal responsibilities that I need to meet for the next year. Yes, I want a better pay check & benefits, but I need the free time to help take care of everything my sister & nephew & mom need taken care of so that in a few years, we can be independent of 1 another.
ReplyDeleteIt's just that I hate being good & patient. I want a real life now. I'm 34, soon to be 35, and I am living with my mother & sister plus, and have no privacy or time to call my own. And I hate it. Coping with it because I must, but hating it.
Steph--If I didn't know better, I'd think you were talking about me. lol, I'm in a very similar situation. I'm still living at home, having made poor school and job choices and getting myself in SERIOUS debt. I would love a place of my own, start dating, get married, all the good stuff. I'm in my thirties too and I hate when I tell people I want kids and when they find out how old I am, they get that look like 'ohhh, well, you better have a baby tommorow then.'
ReplyDeleteStill, Steph, I hear ya. I know you are stuck between a rock and a hard place, but doesn't it seem like money is the answer? (maybe not always) but if you worked part time, say 15-20 hours a week, how long do you think you'd have to work hours like that before you can start full time and start working on moving forward with your life? You're helping your mom and sis; is a part time job for a year or so enough time to get things straight?
Since that seems like what's holding you up, see if you can balance some of those hours with getting the family situation under control.
I sympathize with you because my living at home and not working is why I don't date or anything, though now I wish I had taken up some offers I had, maybe I'd be married now and being supported by my husband, but I digress.
Basically, I think if you're in a job doing something you want to be doing and the job can definetly help you I don't want you to lose that job, but I don't want you stressed about the fam either, or being nagged about getting a better job or whatnot.
Now, get the work hours dealt with first.
Thanks gunngirl. You are echoing the thoughts I have had while walking & meditating. I am still confused and feeling trapped, but the 1 year time line to get everything squared away on the home front, followed by an intense job search to get me out of Dodge, makes the most sense & will allow to do the most good on the personal front. No idea if it is the best choice, but it is the best option out of everything in front of me now.
ReplyDeleteThe biggest issues revolve around getting my sister to & from school so that she can get her degree so that she can get a job so that she can support herself & her son/my nephew. Once she is set up, then my mom is already set up, planning to retire & relocate. So that leaves me. However, obviously, once they are set up, then my presence is unnecessary, & I can wander off & not worry about them any longer beyond phone calls. I'll just have to suck it up that they both will make more than me.
Oh well. Life's a bitch & then you die.