Sigh

I am in a delightful position - again. I wonder how people do it, those who can go all their life and follow some "plan." I am not talking about the novel version where the main character has a plan for each stage of their life. I am talking about the smaller, 5 year plans that let a person get from this point of success to that point of success. I am not "hurting" by any stretch, but I have not truly achieved anything beyond growing up, NOT having children & getting a Master's degree. But I have accomplished nothing else & am now trying to make decsions that will not be good choices on any level. They will be decisions that allow me to best help either my family or my friends. I know my family will win, but I really want to have the income so that I am not an additional drain on my family.

My father will not survive much past my step-mother who has cancer. Yes, it was caught early enough, yes, it is being treated aggressively. She is over 65, however, & has a history of medical problems. Odds are not in her favor & my father does not just adore her, he is completely dependent upon her. I am terrified of what will happen when she passes on.

My mother is also aging & on many levels has already given up. She hurts, her legs are giving out underneath her to th point she has additional damage. She has a thyroid condition, borderline diabetic, & a host of other borderline diseases which I get to look forward to, esp. since Dad has them as well.

Yeah, I have GREAT genes. Just another reason to NEVER have kids & pass on these flawed genetics.

Anyway, I also have a good job that is going to be going to the next level soon & I am excited about that. I guess the problem is that I am not excited about the fighting that will be necessary to get to that level. I am not refrring to corporate in-fighting or sheer work type of fighting. I am talking about making the partners work and agree.