My Opinions

Hi

2011-05-27T23:54:00.000-02:00

I am astonishingly tired of the crap. I know some of it is of my own making, but I did not create all these tornado's, never ending rain, my step mom's cancer complete with limited life expectancy, my mother's spinal cord issues with that limited life span diagnosis, the economy which makes it even harder for me to get a job. I did not deliberately choose to have weird allergies that make it impossible for me to eat anything made with milk, which can be remarkably difficult given how milk byproducts are preservatives. I am tired of it all.

This malaise is not helped by looking around and seeing how our morals and ethics are going down hill as a country and our education system is going down the crapper. I want to believe in humanity, but every time I turn around, there is another article of how people are totally self absorbed wack jobs. Probably the saddest example I have read of late is in Mother Earth News. A group of people were gossiping about the latest end of the world prophecy and 1 man said he was not bothering to prepare because there were Amish families down the road. Instead of doing any real work, he'd load up his guns and go take their stuff. Am I the only person appalled by that? I hope I am not, but I bet there are more people who agree with the gun totin' thief rather than the hard working Amish families.

I have also been reading up on autism and psychopathy and 1 of the little factoids that distresses me is how there are stats quoted that show how prevalent these individuals are and how their numbers are growing. The different specialists do not have any idea why this is so. My personal theory is that these people are born soulless. There are too many bodies being produced but the number of souls available are limited. So I guess in a truly odd way, I think another Noah's flood will come about soon because there are too many bodies and God, the Higher Source, Source of All Things, Gia, the Lord & Lady, however you want to phrase it, will be stepping in to correct the terrible imbalance.

I could also be in la la land because I hurt so much and am so ridiculously tired. Take your pick.

Am I supposed to accomplish anything today?

2011-01-04T18:43:00.000-02:00

I give up. I have a list of paperwork I need to take care of, but I can not get to it. I accomplished all of the other chores - cleaning litter pans, laundry, dished, planting tree, walking dogs, gathering trash, straightening boys rooms, took a shower. Then around 1:30 pm I took my shower & have accomplished little else. I have been on the phone, tried getting 2011 files set up but kept getting distracted, & now it is after 3:30 pm & the boys are home. I have been on the phone trying to find a foster home for an adandoned cat because we really do not have the room & getting no where. The boys need help with their homework & chores, so that eats time & attention. I am free for these 5 minutes only because I sent the boys off to other places to do their chores before homework. & it is just ridiculous!

Me Again

2010-12-10T22:54:00.002-02:00

I am just venting a bit here. I am looking for a job again because I need to be closer to my family. But guess what? There are no jobs out there, esp. if your resume looks like mine. I do not know what to do because I really want to go home. I am also needed at home. But without a way to pay for those little things like food & enough money to buy, oh, a car, I have no clue what to do.

I hate this. My friends are mostly in GA or the Carolina's. My father & stepmother are in 'Bama & she has cancer. My Dad is going to need help if the chemo fails & since they are reaching 7, I have serious doubts about how well she will handle the chemo.

Meanwhile, my mother is finally getting a diagnosis for her diabetes, nerves dying (& I have no clue what the name of that disease is but I know of it because of a friends father having it as well), slipped & ruptured sics in her spine & nerve damage. My sister, who has NEVER had a job in her life, is now in the position of needing to get one, but unable because our mom needs her. Let's not forget, there is also my nephew who needs his mom as well.

I want to go home. I need a job so that I can move out of Ohio & move to (HOPEFULLY) the Carolina's so that I can actually be near friends & family again. And I miss the,. I miss the laughter & watching them develop lives & being around people who enjoy a lot of the same things I do. I miss being with my family. I miss just being in a climate where there is ice 9 months out of the year. But I need a job because without that, I am an additional drain & I can't stomach that.

Zombies

2010-12-10T22:37:00.002-02:00

For the past few weeks, in between getting ready for Thanksgiving & other chaos, I sat at an apartment complex trying to capture a feral cat. I figured something out while sitting hour after hour. The reason there are so many zombies or infected people in horror flicks is because people are completely unobservant. Based on what I saw sitting there, 90% of humanity will be infected/dead before anyone clues in.

I sat there, off & on, for 3 weeks at the same general time. During that period, only 4 people noticed me. Beside the dumpster where I had the trap set up - a wire have-a-heart live capture trap - maybe 2 people each day noticed it. That is a generous number. It was covered in either a blue or leopard striped freaking' towel that flapped in the wind, stank of wet cat food & sandwich meat, & people never noticed. The only people who noticed were the ones who had their dogs & even a few of them never noticed. Their dogs were on retractable leashes, so they kept walking & unless the dog was tangled, never looked to see what their pet was doing.

If this is what humanity is becoming, then we deserve to be wiped out. I am sitting in an orange Kia Borego illegally parked perpendicular to the parking lines. ( Might have that wrong but I was parked incorrectly in a major kind of way.) I have a flash light for reading as it gets dark. And only 2 people noticed me & 1 of them jumped when they did notice me. That is just sad.

But at least now I understand why so many people are roaming around as infected/zombies in all the horror flicks. No one notices anything. People are caught up in their own thoughts/digital world, so if some drooling zombie were to come lurking along & bite them, they would not notice anything but the annoying smell & look in all the wrong places right before eaten.

Another Dream

2010-11-21T12:41:00.002-02:00

Dreamt that I was standing at a paparde of some sort, talking with friends when the guy beside me made a comment that had me looking at him and asking if I looked to be 100 years old. He panicked and left.
(gee wonder why?)
Next, I was in a carriage with the same friends & we went to a spa where they treated me to a day but I went to find the dressing room & got lost. That is when my alarm went off.

Sigh

2010-11-13T00:39:00.002-02:00

I am in a delightful position - again. I wonder how people do it, those who can go all their life and follow some "plan." I am not talking about the novel version where the main character has a plan for each stage of their life. I am talking about the smaller, 5 year plans that let a person get from this point of success to that point of success. I am not "hurting" by any stretch, but I have not truly achieved anything beyond growing up, NOT having children & getting a Master's degree. But I have accomplished nothing else & am now trying to make decsions that will not be good choices on any level. They will be decisions that allow me to best help either my family or my friends. I know my family will win, but I really want to have the income so that I am not an additional drain on my family.

My father will not survive much past my step-mother who has cancer. Yes, it was caught early enough, yes, it is being treated aggressively. She is over 65, however, & has a history of medical problems. Odds are not in her favor & my father does not just adore her, he is completely dependent upon her. I am terrified of what will happen when she passes on.

My mother is also aging & on many levels has already given up. She hurts, her legs are giving out underneath her to th point she has additional damage. She has a thyroid condition, borderline diabetic, & a host of other borderline diseases which I get to look forward to, esp. since Dad has them as well.

Yeah, I have GREAT genes. Just another reason to NEVER have kids & pass on these flawed genetics.

Anyway, I also have a good job that is going to be going to the next level soon & I am excited about that. I guess the problem is that I am not excited about the fighting that will be necessary to get to that level. I am not refrring to corporate in-fighting or sheer work type of fighting. I am talking about making the partners work and agree.

Dreams

2010-11-03T16:46:00.002-02:00

Well, I do believe that I am getting sick. How do I know this? After sending the kids off to school this morning, I went back to bed. There I had a truly strange dream. I dreamt that was living in a small town, it was winter due to the clue that I was cold & bundled up for the funeral of the child I was attending. Though I was concerned about the legality of the funeral because it was a shape shifter & while the mortuary was involved, it was not "on the books" so the speak. I remember offering my condolences to the family & they told me how much they appreciated my coming & once the father was no longer a cat, he would appreciate it as well.
I dreamt that I was disappointed in my white washed cinder block apartment, not because it was cinder blocks, but because I did not have all of my stuff yet.
I also dreamt that I was making out with a shape shifter who was part sea creature & we had to be careful because he developed claws along his abs & groin when aroused so we had to be careful of angles.
That is when I woke up to a lot of banging.

Kind of Back

2010-10-26T22:28:00.003-02:00

It has been a while & a lot has happened. I am now a nanny/housekeeper/chief pooper scooper for 70 cats/general goofer for a family of 4 who need the extra help. We live on 10 acres & that 10 acres includes 20 fruit trees, green house, hoop houses, pond, & of course, 70 cats.

Can I just say that I am also VERY tired?

I really want to find another job. However, I have been here for 4, going on 5, years & my resume sucks. In this economy, unless you're are absolutely fantastic, finding a job is well nigh impossible. I am not fantastic. Since my dream job is a basic factory job right now, where I have no responsibility or decisions to make, then I am truly screwed.

What makes this feeling so ironic is that I would be bored stiff in under a week if I had a basic drone factory job & know it. I am just exceptionally tired. The 2 children & 70 cats & all the angst & drama have taken a huge toll on me & I am reaching massive burn out & know it. I know that this is a good job & I can make a lot of out it. But I honestly no longer care. I want to walk away because of all the family drama that I could care less about. I am not emotionally invested and I have no desire to be invested.

The number of times a day I wish I could become an anchorite nun is rather frightening. Out of a 12 hour period, about every 30 minutes or so I wonder how I would cope & how my life would be different. Because I really do not want to be this responsible for someone else's dream. I do not mind working and helping achieve a goal, but this is not my dream & never has been.

I do not want to live in the country & on a farm. I do not want to raise crops & a small herd of dairy goats. I do not want to can and preserve the crops. I do not want any of this. My dream life is to have a small apartment with a decent TV system so I can watch movies & read on my time with my cats snuggled up and go to work 40-60 hours each week & know that when I leave work, I am leaving it all behind so I can be by myself.

Anti-social? Yes, and given how surrounded I am all the time, this desire to be alone will not dissipate any time soon. Eventually, sure. But not any time soon.

Wowsers

2007-05-19T16:56:00.000-02:00

I know that my posting has become ridiculously sporatic. All I can say is that I have a new appreciation for mothers. I have been running 24/7 since I took this job and I am amazed to report that I am loving it. I have laughed more in the past 3 months than I have over the past 13 years. My personal stress levels are down, my temper has evened out to an astonishing degree. I no longer have bouts of semi-suicidal despondency. I am enjoying life again. But I am still stunned, amazed, and in awe of mothers.

I do not know how a normal family does it. In this situation, with so many conflicting responsibilities, errands, and play dates, school demands, work demands. personal demands, I know that my role in this family is necessary. But how do families pull it off in todays world? You need the extended friends & family to make life work if you have children, because there are those nights when the oldest has baseball, the goungest has soccer, mom has a meeting down town & dad has to be out of town (personalize as you need). SO how does dinner get cooked, everyone get where they need to be, and still have time to be a family? Without extended family & friends, taxi drivers, nannies, it would be fat out impossible.

Beyond this world of need that I am being introduced to, life is pretty good. I am sincerely enjoying the fun that I have been having. I have been to everything from a dinner theater to school fairs. Some I could live without, ohers I will return to as often as I can. The dinner theater is definitely 1 of those. It has been nice to be able to sleep at night and not worry.

PSA

2007-04-27T10:22:00.000-02:00

I am posting this because of something that happened on another blog, as well as something I ran into A LOT at my next to last position as a library branch manager. For those who are on limited financial resources, go to your library and do not just look at the shelves. Look at their online catalogue. It is astonishing how many items are not physically in the building you are in. Most local branches are part of a much larger system. This translates into more buying power. Each library does not need a copy of the book because the multiple copies they do buy circulate between the patrons who do want the book.

For example, a fellow blogger, exmi, recently posted how the local branch of the Georgia library system does not have a book he is waiting on. All he has to do is simply go online, log in using his library card number & pass word helpfully supplied by the local branch, and place a hold on the book. It will arrive from 1 of the many libraries in the PINES system. It might take a while to arrive because it is a reasonably new book he wants, but since the PINES system is 90% of GA, the odds are fairly good he will get the book in a few weeks.

The Weather

2007-04-11T20:03:00.000-02:00

This weather stuff is really odd to me of late. I talk to my mother & sister, who gloat about their 80 degree weather. I step outside and whimper in this 40 degree weather. It is cold and raining and it sucks big time.

Anyway, life is pretty good. I went yesterday to see a great cheesy movie - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I took the 7 year old I take care because a) he is on spring break & b) he earned a movie, unlike his little brother who is having serious adjustment issues at this time. But anyway, the movie was absolutely hilarious. What was rather bittersweet for lack of a better term was that as I sat there, laughing, watching the 7 yr old enjoy the movie, I was able to recognize almost every line, every motion, every plot twist from at least 5 other books/plays/movies/tv shows.

On the intellectual level it was rather nice to recognize all that I did, but it was kind of depressing because it means I read too much. I mean, when I recognize lines straight from Shakespeare, other Disney movies, the Bible, the Three Stoogies, Monty Python, Dante, David Drake, & those are just the moments I remember, it is kind of depressing. I know that nothing new has been written since the Bible, but still . . .

I'm Steill Here

2007-04-03T17:02:00.000-02:00

Wowsers, there have been just a few changes since I last posted. Among others, I am now a nanny/housekeeper in Ohio. Talk about a major career change!

It has been a month plus and I can say that I have been enjoying myself. I have not laughed this much in literally a decade. I have actually been embarrassed too! Since the past few years have been nothing but frustration and angst, I actually enjoyed the mild embarrassment. Now all I have to do is remember my technicl skills with those ridiculous household appliances like electric can openers, and I will be set.

Seriously life has improved for me. I am busy and yet I have time, like now, to kick back and play on the computer. Granted, I am also helping 1 of my charges with an educational computer game, but I do not need that much attention to help him spell words like "mall," and "tail."

The drive up here was absolutely nerve wracking however. I dread to the point of nightmares the day I go back to SC for my furniture, books, general stuff, and drive back to Ohio. Only about 12 hours drive time, but since I currently drive a 2000 S-type Jaguar, a 20 foot UHaul is going to be a MASSIVE change. (And for my friends who've known, don't you like how I worked that in?)

The next 2-3 years will be interesting, but it is an opportunity to decide just what and where I want for myself. I know the general, vague, outline, but finding information on monastic orders that welcome women here in the grand old USA is surprisingly difficult. I keep finding orders that focus on community se3rvice and education, when I want a more contemplative order. Cripes, I would love one that deals with refilling ink cartridges or produces gourmet foods, or whatever, but those are male orders. I am not about to have a sex change just to join. Silly of me, but it is a quirk.

On the flip side of that particular goal, the match making efforts have me pursueing a train of thought that I never really had before. But just what do I want/look for in a potential lover? Thanks to several late conversations with a bit of wine to help the conversational flow, I have realized that not only have I never really thought about it, but I rarely look, and try to avoid the entire issue. On the emotonal side, it is because I have some major trust issues. The number of people I actually trust is ridiculously small. There is a longer list of people I trust to react certain ways, but actually trust enough to share a bed with? HA!

Anyway, thanks to these conversations I realized again that looks play the smallest role. I mean that while there are several things that are an automatic "EEEWWW!" for me, I have no preference for blond, brunette, or bald. Just that they have a hair line and it does not stop at their feet. Hairy bodies do NOTHING for me. Then there is smell. The people I deal with either do not register with me or have a pleasant smell so I do not mind spending time with them. But there have been many people over the years whose personal body scent literally curdled my stomache.

OOOPS! Need to head out the door. More later.

Does "fucking hell no!" mean anything?

2007-01-27T14:06:00.000-02:00

Snakes help soothe the joints at spa
Fri Jan 26, 10:02 AM ET
Hold the Dead Sea salts and tea-tree oil. An Israeli health and beauty spa has introduced a new treatment to its menu -- snake massage.
For 300 shekels ($70), clients at Ada Barak's spa in northern Israel can add a wild twist to their treatment by having six non-venomous but very lively serpents slither and hiss a path across their aching muscles and stiff joints.
"I'm actually afraid of snakes, but the therapeutic effects are really good," customer Liz Cohen told Reuters Television as Barak let the snakes loose on her body.
Barak uses California and Florida king snakes, corn snakes and milk snakes in her treatments, which she said were inspired by her belief that once people get over any initial misgivings, they find physical contact with the creatures to be soothing.

I found this on yahoo and EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW! sounds about right. And I like snakes!

2007-01-16T18:46:00.000-02:00

Here is a bit of trivia that absolutely boggles me. I just went with my sister to the local tech school. There, at the cosmetology department, we got our hair cut. It cost us each $5 for a wash, cut, and dry. Each time I have gone to a tech school to get my hair cut, in SC, PA, AL, or GA, I have loved my hair afterwards. It is a good cut and while slow, the experience was a positive one.

But on the flip side, I have been to pricey salons - places like Belks, Parisans, Organika, various day spa's, etc. I have paid any where from $15 to $100 for a hair cut. Yet most of those experiences left me in tears or just a simple shrug of my shoulders because my hair was no longer in my eyes & I was in & out in less than 30 minutes.

So why is it that I enjoy the experience & the actual cut better when I go to the school and yet when I go to a salon, I went home & cried at the butchering they just did on my hair? Can anyone explain that mystery?

Anyway, I am excited! I am going to go visit a friend in the chilly wilds of Ohio. Since I am currently wearing shorts & a flannel shirt with all the windows & doors open, I think I am going to freeze when I get off the plane in Ohio. Could be wrong, but . . .

In my morning walks, 1 of the topics I have been contemplating is my future. I hate being so clueless and feeling this hamstrung. I know that I want out. I know there are a few doors currently opened for me. I know that I want to walk through them. I am also afraid of what my mother will do/say and what will happen to my sister and nephew. I hate the thought of leaving her here with my mother. But I can not see any other option, especially since a lot of the thank you, but no thank you letters that I have called to follow up on have said that part of the reason I was not selected was because I was not located"in a "more advantageous" location. Since Beaufort, SC is not a mecca of industry, I am not surprised. I want to relocate. But without a job, how am I too afford the relocation? Catch-22 strikes again, and it sucks big time.

It's Hot!

2007-01-15T20:31:00.000-02:00

I am amazed to be writing this, but I am actually wearing shorts. It is January 15th, and I am wearing shorts and a light t-shirt. It is perfect weather for it. But it is January 15th! I am confused! Isn't supposed to be cold? Did I miss a memo or something?

I am feeling bleck today. I was at work and it was yet another fun and exciting day. I do enjoy the job, but I really and truly do wish that I made more so that I could move out. I want a shower. A real shower. With space and actual room. Oh well. Some day.

Has anyone else been following the confusing case of the 2 boys re-united with their families? 1 kidnapped a few years ago & the other a few days ago? Can anyone help me understand why these boys did nothing to get back to their real families? I admit that I want to run away from mine on a routine basis, but that's just a bit over the top. In other words, I am really confused as to just what was happening and Stockholm syndrom does not cover it in my book.

It's A New Year

2007-01-05T19:32:00.000-02:00

It has been an interesting week here in SC. It has been in the freakin' 70's! I know it is silly of me, especially since I can not tolerate the cold, but this just feels wrong.

Anyway, I have been reveling is wearing shorts in January so I guess life is pretty good for me.

Otherwise, I have trying to think about the future and realizing just how screwed I am. I know that I have options, but some of them are down right scary, while others require disappointing my mother & father, something that falls under "hard to o, even though I do it routinely." And in the scenario's I see, the hardest part lies in how unhappy my mother will be and how it will effect my sister & nephew. I REALLY want to be an orphan about now.

Not really, but while scarier, life would be simpler. I would not hurt anyone else and I would know that there is no one else to rely on. That is also a remarkably depressing statement and what it says about my mental outlook is even more depressing. So I will ignore it and go on with my point.

The options that I can see open before me at this point in time.

1 - I can continue working at the Garden Gate, accept some of the house/pet sitting offers I have been approached on, and keep job hunting several hours each day. Eventually something will come through and I will go from there.

2 - Basically the same as option 1, but instead of several hours daily, only a 1 day per week with the rest of the week being devoted to writing. Give myself 5 years to become a published author and/or gainfully employed with benefits.

3 - I can talk with my father & move in to his guest house & start over in Alabama.

4 - I can talk to various friends and move further North and try there.

It really scares me because I have no idea what to do. And the worst is that my mother really wants me to stay here and help out with my sister & nephew. Since I want my sister and nephew to have a good life & since she can not drive due to epilepsy, it is even further conflicted. I do not know what to do, but I think I am going to start writing short stories again & see if I can get them published. Who knows?

Any way I look at it, I am scared and have no clue what to do. All I do know is that I want to move out and be alone.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2006-12-24T19:02:00.000-02:00

Just wishing my few readers a Merry Christmas and Happy New Years!

OK, This is funny

2006-12-14T23:50:00.000-02:00

OK So, what's your sign? You crash here often? - Yahoo! Newshttp://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20061214/od_nm/astrology_driving1_dc

This is the link to an article from yahoo that I find hysterical.

So, what's your sign? You crash here often?
By Naomi KimThu Dec 14, 9:42 AM ET
Never mind how careful you are behind the wheel or how long you've been driving, the signs of the zodiac may be bigger factors behind your ability to avoid car crashes -- or why you have too many.
According to a study by InsuranceHotline.com, a Web site that quotes drivers on insurance rates, astrological signs are a significant factor in predicting car accidents.
The study, which looked at 100,000 North American drivers' records from the past six years, puts Libras (born September 23-October 22) followed by Aquarians (January 20-February 18) as the worst offenders for tickets and accidents
Leos (July 23-August 22) and then Geminis (May 21-June 20) were found to be the best overall.
"I was absolutely shocked by the results," said Lee Romanov, president of Toronto-based InsuranceHotline.com, who also wrote the book "Car Carma" which touches on the correlation between astrological signs and driving ability while doing the study.
Romanov originally wanted to have some fun by examining astrological signs as a possible cause for the variance between insurance companies quoting high and low rates but didn't expect to find anything interesting.
"Now, changing postal codes is far less significant to me than drivers of certain astrological signs," she told Reuters on Wednesday.
Even age, another variable for determining insurance rates, is less of a consideration to Romanov. The cutoff line for being considered a higher risk driver is 24 years of age; 25-year-olds are considered not-high risk.
"I'd rather get into a car with a 24-year-old Leo than a 25-year-old Aries," Romanov said.
Leos, described along with the study results on InsuranceHotline.com/a10.html, are "generous, and comfortable in sharing the roadway."
Aries, on the other hand, "have a 'me first' childlike nature that drives Aries into trouble."
"I wasn't believing in it before," said Romanov, "but I would think twice before getting into a car with an Aries."

HA!

2006-12-14T23:26:00.000-02:00

I have reached a decision. From now on, all gifts from me will be either from the ASPCA or Humane Society or the Watkins Company. My life has just become incredibly easier, especially since the only person I need to buy for is my nephew. He will probably get an amazing amount from Toys'R'Us, but that's only until he gets past the cute kid stage. Then it will be the animal rescue sites for him. And the occasional additional pet because all growing boys need dogs, cats & fish. I know I need all the above, though until we move out the fish are a no-go.

And right now, I am miffed at my family. I was given an incredibly cool gift (for me at least). An Easy Bake Oven! And I hate to cook. In fact, I do not cook at all thanks to my sister having no job and taking care of that particular chore. Unfortunately, I can't use the utterly adorable, cute, wonderful Easy Bake Oven until after Christmas. It is just sitting there under the tree. Looking at me. Calling me. Enticing me to pull out that Oreo kit I have and bake. THIS SUCKS!

2006-12-12T18:57:00.000-02:00

I have been contemplating my navel lately. Among other things, I have been thinking about a friend and her incredible luck. I realized through oodles of time walking that I am - THANKFULLY - not jealous of her luck. What I am is feeling left behind. I think I would prefer to be jealous.

My girl friend has met an incredible man who has done everything right by her. She has a good job she tends to enjoy. Her family is doing fairly well. Life is over all pretty good. And I knew I was starting to feel some sort of negative emotions. Figured I was better off facing them head on and dealing with them before I screwed up with her like I have in the past with another friend who has managed to pull herself together and now has a life that she enjoys.

The big surprise for me at least was learning that I was not jealous of either of my 2 girl friends. I do not want what they now have in their lives. I do not want a man to wander in to my life and make life more complete. I do not want someone to wake up beside and know cares. I do want the security that they have. I want to go home to MY home and not have anyone around me. I want the freedom to watch movies again. That is what I want. I do not want another lover again.

The demands are more than I am really capable or wanting to meet any longer. I am finding people too demanding all across the board of late and realizing that I really need to start getting out more often before joining a convent that focuses on seculsion becomes a viable life choice. That is rather scary.

Beyond that little bit of self realization, the only other thing is that I really find my mother incredibly annoying at the holiday times. Is it Jan. 2nd yet? I'm ready to put it all away.

Ho Hum

2006-12-03T13:14:00.000-02:00

It has been interesting of late. I have had to help my sister deal with the death of her oldest cat. My great aunt just died in her sleep. I have been "fortunate" not to actually need to miss work because of the timing involved. Work has continued to prove a massive disappointment. I have yet to receive anything but a thank you, but no thank you letter in response to ANY of the jobs I have applied for. I am feeling a bit unlovable.

Work is in many ways the biggest disappointment. I do enjoy the work itself. My co-workers are all highly intelligent, well traveled individuals with whom I enjoy working. The problem lies in how many of the ideas/promises are not carried through. Oh well. Life goes on.

As for my job searching, I have done everything I can think of to increase my odds of finding a good job with a decent pay check and benefits. I have read the books. Signed up for the hints from Monster, CareerBuilder, Quints, JobFinder, etc., and have had no luck what so ever. I am at a loss here. I am tired of living pay check to pay check and not having enough money for any of those little extras. Little things like a trip to the dentist, getting my car oil changed, buying new freaking socks. Once I pay all my bills (cell phone - $50, bankruptcy - $56, car insurance - $79, and storage unit - $90) I am lucky to have $30 left over to buy basics like deodorant and whatever the cats need. Since I work an average of 14 hours per week, at $8/hour, you do the math.

I have even started applying for jobs at gas stations, the Dollar Tree, Wal-Mart, etc. Nothing. I am over educated and have no luck what so ever. This just sucks.

I keep trying to cheer myself up and keep firmly at the fore front that part of my blah's stem from the holiday season. I can not recall a good holiday season - ever - so I become increasingly stressed and unhappy until about Jan. 5th when life returns to normal. I can not wait until Jan. 5th 2007!

Other than my blah's, life is pretty normal. I work. I attend funerals. I clean around the house & try and pay rent by taking care of the yard for my mother. Run my sister around so that she can take care of what she needs to accomplish so that she can graduate and get a job herself. And job hunt. Oh, and apply for jobs maniacally.

Thanksgiving Time

2006-11-22T23:25:00.000-02:00

Well, it is Thanksgiving again. Personally, I will be grateful that it is over and all the food that I really do not want but absolutely adore will be put away and I will be back at work. I discovered years ago that I vastly prefer to be at work rather than at home with my family and all the expectations that are never ever met.

I know that this is not an uncommon phenomena. Movies have been made about it after all. It still is astonishing how so many people will go out of their way to have the "perfect holiday season." Truthfully, every year my "perfect holiday" becomes simpler and more isolated. Right now, I would prefer to be alone in a warm, comfy suite or cabin. Have my cats and a stash of juicy romance novels (& maybe a few fantasy & bios for something approaching weighty), and some wine with various bath products waiting to be consumed. No one else, just me. No big meals, just fruit & veggie trays with cheese and veggie burgers, yogurt and juice, maybe even various teas. No real dishes, just quiet relaxation. Oh, and a decent CD player and a TV/DVD player so I can watch movies when I tire of reading and lounging in the tub.

Oh well. I do have a lot to be thankful for. I am reasonably healthy. I am active. I have a good, working car. I have my own room with my own bed and access to all of my books. I am reasonably thin and have started eating right and have been losing inches. My cats are healthy and have made it abundantly clear how much they love me. I have good friends who give a serious damn about me. I am single and childless - a major blessing in my book. My family is alive and kicking with all the recent deaths being of the expected variety. There are twins on the way and several weddings coming up. My friends are all doing well in their lives on all the levels I know of. The world has yet to blow itself up, and that means the running hot & cold water still works. There are lots of good writers out there I am learning about and getting to read. My practicing of yoga has reached the point where I am FINALLY ready to go to the next level. I am no longer working at the Effingham Library and have a job that I enjoy, despite the lack of hours and benefits. :-~ And the list goes on. And it is a pretty damn good list.

All the items I want to improve will fall in to place and I am working on taking the necessary steps to make the positive changes I want to make. I have managed to locate several websites dedicated to the type of jobs I want. I have updated and massively improved my resume. My cover letter has never looked so good and there are people willing to be a reference. All that is left is holding on and trusting that there is a plan and that it includes me getting 1 of the positions I am applying for.

Life is good. And while I am not happy or excited, I am at peace and definitely enjoying a level of contentment I am surprised to recognize. Yes, there are issues with my family, but they are based on my need/desire to be alone. Yes, there are negative factors, but I can do nothing but what I am doing until I start earning a better pay check. As it is, financially, I am doing better than I have in a long time. A fact that adds to my sense of peacefulness that I only recently starting to acknowledge and am trying to develop further. So while I was fired in February of this year, I would have to say that I am honestly grateful for that dismissal. If I had not been fired, I doubt if I would have made any of the changes I have made and learned any of the lessons I have learned, and gained this level of contentment and peace.

Another Week

2006-11-12T15:19:00.000-02:00

Well, life has been just oodles of fun. I really need to get another job. I am so tired of living pay check to pay check. I want to know just what a savings account is again. I also am having strong emotions this weekend because instead of getting paid on Friday, like we are SUPPOSED to be, I had to wait until about 2:00 p.m. Saturday to get my check. Seems that the person who was to deliver the paychecks to where I work bailed out sick and no one thought that, oh, yeah, some of the staff is at the nursery and would alos like their paychecks until we called. Some reason that grates.

And let's not forget my utter hatred of living with my family. Just because I do love and adore them is no reason what so ever to even think I want to live with them. What really bites is that on many levels my being here is making my mother happier than she has been and I am accomplishing a lot for all three of them. Since I DESPERATELY want my independence back, this is not something I care to contemplate all that closely, you know?

Some of the news lately that has caught my attention -

Rumsfield has FINALLY been fired. I just have to wonder why the hell it took so long.

The gay marriage ban/state constitutional amendment was passed here in SC. I disagree with that, not least because I see no reason why marriage has to be so narrowly defined. I feel that if a couple wants to tie themselves together, then let them. Any way you look at it, the lawyers are winning this battle.

It is Veteran's Day and there are several parades and ceremonies going on that have been really rather sweet. My favorite local event was when the local schools held an open house and invited vets to come visit and have lunch with the kids. That should be done more often.

There is a cookbook out called "How to Feed An Army," by Jim Lewin. It is all about cooking for 10 to 100 and I am seriously thinking of getting it, if no other reason than the money goes for troop support. That and the bit on amazon.com is rather funny.

I am also horribly confused by something and if anyone can explain this to me, I would appreciate it. But why do people say that Mrs. X is their 2nd mother? Or Ms. Y is their 2nd daughter? That Mrs. X helped raise them? I have never understood this at all. This phenomena crossed my radar recently when my boss said she could not leave until she told 1 of her employees good bye because she was just like her mother. Now, am I the only person who sees all sorts of issues inherent in that statement? I know it has no impact on me at all, but it still creeps me out.

That is probably because I have plenty with my own natural mother as well as my step mother. I have no desire, longing, need, want, craving, whatever for another mother to step in to my life and help me manage my life.

Yeck!

2006-10-26T10:19:00.000-02:00

This week has been interesting, but naturally, the cool stuff was simple humdrum events. The bad stuff (which really was not that bad) makes a better story.

The good stuff was that the books I ordered from the book version of netflicks arrived, mom was out of town so I was able to be an adult and watched real movies that did not involve Scooby-Doo or trhe Power Rangers. I even had a glass of wine! Oh, and I watched "Jarhead." An interesting movie with several HIGHLY memorable moments. I will never look at Santa hats in the same way again. But not worth seeing on the big screen, that's for sure.

The funny bad stuff, now, that's the interesting stuff.

Monday I learned something about my personal idea of hell. It is being a school field trip chaperone. I know more trips as a chaperone are in my future, but WAAAH!!!! Sums it up best. my nephew's 1st grade class (plus 2 other 1st grade classes) went to a local church pumpkin patch. Since it was less than a mile away, the kids walked and so my sister & I volunteered to go along. My mantra for the day was "I love my family." Talk about a horrible thing to do to yourself! A bunch of hyper active kids with no manners, all walking down the road! Yikes! And then we went to a park where the kids ate lunch and had recess. That was cool because I sat off towards the back - away from the kids - and chilled out from my strong desire to wring their little necks. Eventually, we toddled off back to school & my sister & I came home. Not nearly soon enough.

I know there are people out there who would find this sort of event to be enjoyable or completely nonchalant about it, but for me, I do not want, like, or need children of my own. A dog is too much effort most days. I can handle a cat and fish because they are mostly self-sufficient. Cripes, if you dump fish into a pond at the right time of year, they do not even need help surviving. Cats, well, they need help with can openers. Otherwise, they'd take over the world. That and since humans are bigger, they are at a size disadvantage.

Balloons!

2006-10-22T14:38:00.000-02:00

http://www.balloonmanor.com/index.php

This is a link to really cool haunted house that I want to go to 1 year. I hope!
Check it out!

Oh My Word

2006-10-20T21:51:00.000-02:00

Vicar's knicker run rescues town
Rueter's Oddly Enough on Yahoo.com
Oct 20, 8:52 AM (ET)
WELLINGTON (Reuters) - A vicar has come to the rescue of a small New Zealand town that has run out of women's underwear.
A group of women at the local Anglican church revealed the crisis caused by the only clothing shop in the small town of Inglewood, about 280 km (175 miles) north west of the capital Wellington, no longer stocking women's underwear.
"Someone came up with the point that it was a bit difficult that ladies essentials were not able to be bought in Inglewood," Reverend Gary Husband told National Radio.
"So we're going to have what's been called a knickers run."
Husband, who came up with the solution to the less-than-spiritual problem, said volunteers would now take anyone without transport to the nearby city of New Plymouth, about 20 km (12 miles) away, to buy their essentials.
Men's underwear is readily available in the town of around 3,000, but it also has no shoe shop and no bus service.
Husband said a trial run would be made before Christmas and if successful it would probably become a monthly event and open to all, regardless of faith.
"This is for the community ... the response has been positive, we've had one (other) denomination get in touch with us, so it's spreading."

Blah Blah Blah

2006-10-18T13:33:00.000-02:00

I have discovered something about myself recently. I tried to discover more about the wicca religious view point and failed miserably. There are several reasons for that. There was the rather sad lack of any material at the local library. There were a total of 2 books in the entire system. That is just sad if you ask me. Since I prefer to read books from the library and then decide if I want to buy them, I was a bit short changed on that route. It did not help that when I brought the 2 books home, I just could not make myself pick them up. Part of that was because of all the curled lips and snarky “why are you looking at that?” comments from my parental unit. But the clincher was the fact that I could not make myself want to read them in my mothers house.

This is so pathetic! The list of things I am not comfortable doing in my mother’s house keeps growing. I mean, there is the taking of a bath, burning candles, sleeping in the buff, watching movies, doing my yoga at night, drinking alcohol, decorating, the timing of when I actually do yard work for heavens sake! This is getting ridiculous! I mean, I always knew that I could never contemplate anything sexual around my mother because that is just wrong. But this is ridiculous.

I have discovered something pretty cool for any dieters reading this. For anyone interested, the Da Vinci syrups are calorie & sugar free. They are made with Splenda, so keep that in mind. I have been using the raspberry in water to give it some flavor without calories & the vanilla for flavor in oatmeal, hot chocolate, hot tea, water, chai, diet Pepsi, slim fast, and I am sure I will add to my list as time goes by. There are several flavors out there and I am looking for them from a source besides online. Wal-Mart carries only vanilla, hazelnut, & raspberry. I can’t wait!

A Bit Behind But . . .

2006-10-17T13:25:00.000-02:00

After the school shooting happened at the Amish school, I was 1 of millions who felt shock & horror. What happened is wrong no if, ands, or buts. What truly appalled me though, was something that happened during the funerals. I no longer have this article, so I can not give any of the facts. I apologize for that, but will fill in the blanks I am sure.

By now, most are probably aware of the religious group that goes to the funerals of military personnel, protesting, saying how this was in Afghanistan & Iraq is God’s way of showing His displeasure about the homosexual life style. Well, apparently they were planning to protest at the funerals for the girls killed at the Amish school. The reason? Because apparently the Amish have offended God as well with their life style.

So to prevent this group from protesting, a radio show host offered them the chance to have a free hour to air their opinions in a public forum in exchange for NOT protesting. And if they did protest, then the group had tp pay a $500,000 fine.
While I applaud the radio show host for his preventive action and the foresight to enforce the agreement, I am appalled that the move was even necessary. While free speech is a part of our inalienable rights, guaranteed by the Constitution, when did common sense and decency go out the window?

These were young girls who were subjected to something that is supposed to be unthinkable in our country. They were going to school to learn the basics and have fun and be kids. They are now dead and instead of giving their families the right and the emotional privacy and freedom to bury these children, this group feels that they can interrupt? And accuse them of living a life that offends God? That it is because of their choices their daughters were killed because they offended God?

I had already had a strong feeling of loathing and contempt for this group of religious “believers.” I firmly believe that funerals are not public events for strangers to intrude and foist their cameras and/or opinions on family and friends already in the grip of a variety of strong emotions. It does not matter if you are burying someone you loved and will miss every day of the rest of your life, or someone you are willing to build an outhouse over their grave so you can piss on their grave every day for the rest of your life. It is still an event with many varied emotions.

To know that these people feel that funerals are the appropriate time and location to protest not just the was in the Middle East but also life style choices and what ever else they may protest is enough to make me understand why the various biker groups also attend. I just wish that instead of revving their engines, they could also use baseball bats and chains on these idiots. Or maybe some nameless group of individuals could do something evil and nasty to these idiots because the lack of love and compassion is appalling.

I know that I should be more tolerant of all peoples and groups. I do not want this family to be hurt in any way shape or form. But if they were to fade away into the wood work and never offend anyone again, I would be a lot happier.

Thoughts About Adam & Eve

2006-10-17T13:24:00.000-02:00

OK, I know that I am not the only person to think on this topic. I don’t have a list of the titles & authors close, but I know Mark Twain wrote about Eve and Adam in the Garden of Eden, and there is a collection of short storied by women about Eve. And I am positive that there have been religious studies about Adam & Eve as well.

As you can guess, I am talking about Adam & Eve. I just want to know, why there are no religious observances for the ultimate grandparents of humanity. OK, for those who do not follow the creationist theory, I know all the theories and such that are in competition with the creationist theory. It does not matter in this case. I want to know why the Catholic Church, the source of more holidays and days of observance than I ever want to think about, has nothing to celebrate Adam & Eve. According to the Catholic Church, they are the ultimate grandparents of all humanity, yet they are basically ignored.

So what that they ate the forbidden fruit, kicked out of Eden, and generally came up with a new level of misery. I know that part of what makes humans different from the rest of creation is our free will, but I have problems with the story. Adam & Eve were created perfectly innocent. They were plopped down in the Garden of Eden by God, a being who is omniscient, perfect, knows everything, sees everything, is everything, etc. You would think that as this all powerful, all knowing being, God had to of known that Adam & Eve were going to be tempted and eat the blasted fruit. He knows all, he is always there beside you, yet people are supposed to be shocked and horrified that Adam and eve disobeyed and ate the fruit. OK, why? I will not know until I die and am in God’s presence and have it explained, but I have a feeling that God knew what would happen and figured that it was a good way to have someone to be with him. That is just my theory and I want to stress this. I try to be a good person, but I know I fail. So please, no one flame me in to oblivion, OK?

Adam & Eve are considered the 1st man & woman if you follow the teachings of the Church. Since there are saints for everything from erasers to cancer patients, and everything in between, why isn’t there something for Adam and Eve?

I also want to know who Adam & Eve’s son’s Cain & Abel “begat” with. Nothing is ever said about their wives, and I really hope that Cain & Abel didn’t choose their sister’s. So does, for the sake of my sensibilities if nothing else, this mean that Lilith really was Eve’s predecessor and she & Adam had a few children of their own? Or did God step in and make a few other people to help out the gene pool?

OK, So It Has Been A While

2006-10-16T14:17:00.000-02:00

Some random points -

I found this website on yahoo the other day and was impressed enough that I will be buying the calendar for myself. And the proceeds go to a worthy cause as well which helps justify my drool-fest.

I have reached a new low I think. I realized that all of my fantasies revolve around being alone BY MYSELF with my own TV, stereo, candles, and choice of music & movies, followed by a long hot bath with even more candles, and wearing what I want and not what my mother deems appropriate. I can't find a new job soon enough.

Other than that, it has been little things around here keeping me from blogging and emailing friends in depth. Just because I am working weird hours, helping with errands & bill paying, doctor appointments, yard work, and the occasional crisis of minute proportions is no reason what so ever for not writing & I know it.

I do have several items on my laptop. Downside is that I have nothing resembling a disk or jump drive to transfer from 1 computer to the other & my laptop is not hooked up to the internet - yet. By noon tomorrow that will change and my job hunting will progress to a whole new level. I can't wait!

I had an interesting dream last night. I dreamt that I was working at a zoological theme park co-founded by Matthew McConaughey (guy who played in Sahara). I and 99% of the rest of the staff had a massive crush on the guy but he was sort of a Dennis the Menace personality in my dream. He'd show up, sort of help out, get distracted and disappear about the point that his help was truly needed and necessary. The main point of my dream was that I was working on this 1 part of the park when I was interrupted by my supervisor. She wanted me to give a tour to some potential money sources. During her description of the family, Matthew called to say he would not be showing up because his nephews had arrived unexpectedly and he needed to get them settled. So off I went to give this tour to a family of 3 - mom, dad & junior. It was a great tour & I wish I actually did work at a place like this. The only bad & truly weird part was my fear of heights/vertigo made an appearance and there were parts of the park I had to get the father's help traversing because I would freeze up and panic and be unable to continue. Which is why I was pissed at Matthew because he knew about my fears and knew how to get my past those points without any social faux pau. Since I was giving a tour to convince this family they wanted to write a big check to help continue to fund the park and my job, having panic attacks was not a good thing. Since I was dreaming it was especially bad.

Oh well. More tomorrow!

Recommendations & Gossip

2006-09-21T19:07:00.000-02:00

For those who care about their hands & feet as much as I do, a product I just found at the local Big Lots might be of interest. The website is http://www.frillsbeauty.com. I picked up 1 of their sample packs and have loved every single 1 of the products. The foot baths smell wonderful & have done a lot to make my hands & feet a lot less stiff & sore. That & a lot of the incredible rough edges that have been developing since I took this job at the garden nursery have started to wear away.

Another website / show I can recommend is http://www.globetrekkertv.com. I started watching it a few weeks ago on ETV & was rather impressed. Then you throw in the shopping and I was hooked. The show is just what the title says it is. There are about 4 travel guides who go to various locations around the world and show you what the sights are and give you a rough idea of what to expect from the places you stay and the best ways to get to the sights. The web site also offers the taped shows, music, and various other odds & ends. The music will be something for my ever growing wish list, but what I have listened to on-line is pretty good. At least, by my standards.

Now for the gossip. Yesterday at work I learned something rather bizarre by my standards. Since moving to Beaufort, SC I have been constantly surprised by the price differences from Statesboro, GA. I just had a massive difference pointed out yesterday. Keep in mind that Beaufort, SC is a small Southern town that is a MAJOR tourist spot. As in, we are less than 1/2 an hour from Hilton Head Island & there is LOADS of cash floating around this area. The "quieter" source of community funding is based on the Marine training depot, Paris Island, and the Marine Air Station for its income.

Now, given the 2 extremes of income, you would think there would be a varied supply of housing in this area. Well, I would. Unfortunately, I am wrong, horribly wrong. Examples include this - there is a block of 2-story townhouse's that all have 2 bedrooms, 1 & 1/2 baths, living room & kitchen, on 1/4 acre, approx. That is all that they are. They face the back of a strip mall that consists of a kitchen store, Talbots, & a few similar stores. On the 1 side is a boat outfitter, & I mean the LARGE boats. You know, yachts? And on the other side is a marsh view. Behind them is more housing of similar size. Guess how much they average?

Well, if you guessed over $200,000 each, you would be right!

I would not pay that, but that is just me.

Another example is the house I am living in now. My mom paid around $125,000 for this, a 3 bedroom, 2 bath, kitchen, living room, dining room, enclosed garage on 1/2 an acre (approx.). That is not too bad. More than I'd want to pay, but since there are 3 adults & 1 child, plus 5 animals, it is working. The location is on a small pseudo-penisula along the coast line, so though we are on the "inside" of this mini-subdivision, we still can see the marsh on both sides. We can also definitely hear the Paris Island gun fire & sometimes even the drill sergeants. Thanks to a realtor who has come sniffing around, we now know that these houses, which are all at least 30 years old & need new everything, can sell from any where from $$200,000 to $400,000 depending on how extensive the renovation have been.

This is a small town. There is little to do here beyond attend the local festivals, go boating, and generally be wealthy. The shopping is non-existent. So why on earth is this place so expensive? Oh wit, that's right! Most of the people here are wealthy to the point that spending over $200,000 for a small house is nothing to them. So what if they only use it 4 months out of the year? Sheez!

I really want to get out of this town. I know that I am here and doing multiple good things helping my family. I know my mother & I have had more heart to hearts over the past few months & worked out more issues than we have over the past few years. I know that this is only temporary & when it is the right time, life will fall in to place & I will move. But I really want it to be no later than January 2007. I want a life again where I can take a freaking bath & have candles burning & a glass of wine. I want to go back to my salads & tofu. All things that I can not do while living with others.

Not because they are family, which does play a role, but because this is not my home & most of the bills are paid by someone else. So I have not the right to indulge in my pleasures when I know they can not be shared by my family, nor are they encouraged because they all involve items that are frowned upon. Especially the candles, which blows my mind. Alcohol, though bad, is not as dangerous as candles apparently. Once I figure out why that is true, I'll let you know.

Something Of Interest

2006-09-12T18:38:00.000-02:00

Something of interest - SFAG posted a tribute to 9/11 that I was rather surprised by. The opening line of his post is a latin phrase I've seen, but never knew exactly what the translation was. So, a few keystrokes later, I found this, and found myself rather emotional afterwards.

"frater, ave atque vale"

Latin phrase meaning "hail, brother, farewell." It appears at the end of a poem by Catullus:

Through many countries and over many seas
I have come, Brother, to these melancholy rites,
to show this final honour to the dead,
and speak (to what purpose?) to your silent ashes,
since now fate takes you, even you, from me.
Oh, Brother, ripped away from me so cruelly,
now at least take these last offerings,
blessedby the tradition of our parents, gifts to the dead.
Accept, by custom, what a brother's tears drown,
and, for eternity, Brother, 'Hail and Farewell'.

The poem and phrase were further immortalized 1,900 years later by Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem Frater, Ave Atque Vale:

Row us out from Desenzano, to your Sirmione row!
So they row'd, and there we landed, 'O venusta Sirmio!'
There to me thro' all the groves of olive in the summer glow,
There beneath the Roman ruin where the purple flowers grow,
Came that 'Ave atque Vale' of the Poet's hopeless woe,
Tenderest of Roman poets nineteen-hundred years ago,
'Frater Ave atque Vale' as we wander'd to and fro
Gazing at the Lydian laughter of the Garda Lake below
Sweet Catullus's all-but-island, olive-silvery Sirmio!

The web site I found this at is http://www.answers.com

Grumps

2006-09-10T20:56:00.000-02:00

This has been an interesting weekend. The most bizarre part has been the absolute relief I felt when I had to go to work. That's just weird. Not to mention what it says about my home life that I prefer to be at work rather than at home.

Anyway, I'm ready for the week to start. I am ready to fall on my face because I am so physically exhausted, but it is good to be so exhausted. Tuesday, I helped rearrange the existing stock of flower pots at work. On Wednesday, we received 4 pallets worth of heavy ceramic flower pots. Since unloading those, I feel like a wet noodle on a hot stove. Then I helped merchandise everything.

I spent Friday cleaning & running errands, Saturday at work, then today working in the yard. I'm ready to run away to the nearest spa, ya know?

What makes everything so really exhausting isn't the physical work though. It is how my nephew's soccer is eating in to our lives. How a close friends' almost boyfriend really screwed up to the point I am more than pissed for her. How my sister has been talking to her ex-husband for the 1st time in over 4 years. While there is a certain smugness is knowing that he is on his second divorce & she is acting towards him like he did towards my sister, it does not change the fact that my sister is something of an idiot where the man is concerned. Not that I have much room to talk given my choices, but I guess all I can do is be there & keep asking about how much he has changed/ matured over the past few years. Questions like, has he grown up any at all? pop to my mind where he is concerned.

Oh well, it's dinner time & if I am going to get up tomorrow, I need to go to eat dinner & go to bed. Joyousness. I can not wait until I can move out. I want my own home again. But that is just me.

A Goodbye & A Random Thought

2006-09-08T21:33:00.000-02:00

I am horribly unhappy about 2 deaths. The crocodile Hunter, Steve Erwin, was supposed to live forever. I was expecting to watch him & his kids on TV, playing with crocs & snakes & other such dangerous critters with my nephew's kids in 40 years, you know? Now, well, he is gone. And in such a bizarre way, too. I mean, a sting ray barb through the heart? What the fuck is that? It is just wrong! I liked him & I hate knowing that 1 of the few decent people on TV is gone.

The 2nd death is a bit closer to home for me. A local Stateboro, GA hero, Erk Russell, died at 80 years of a heart attack. He was a college football coach & 1 of the best. He will be missed.

I liked him the few times I met him. I used to work at the campus catering & he was one of the few who would make life nice for us as we served dinner. He was polite, and believe me, that is a miracle in & of itself. An icon has passed.

Now for the complete random thoughts -
(Snickering madly now)

I had a revelation the other day while running errands. I finally figured out the fascination with stars & their sex lives. Why romance novels like the Steele sister's sell so well. It's because we can not talk about our neighbors & family members! Just because we know that our sister is sleeping with so & so, who's married with kids, and that the neighbors husband has a male lover, and several other pieces on the side of a different racial background, makes no difference. You can't bring it up and gossip about your neighbors & family with your co-workers & buddies. Why? They do not know these people. But everyone knows Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman, Oprah, The Twins, Paris Hilton, and so on & so forth. So we can gossip about them!

Blindingly obvious, I know, but since I never thought about it before yesterday, give me credit, OK?

Alcohol

2006-09-01T21:34:00.000-02:00

OK, what is the deal? I have had over the past 3 weeks several conversations with numerous women about men & their drinking. At work, with the neighbors, with friends, and several others, I have listened to rants about men & their drinking. I am confused by what the attraction to alcohol is. Why is drinking such a must by so many? I will be the 1st to admit I enjoy a good drink every now & again. In fact, several drinks sounds appealing lately. But it is not that big of a deal. can anyone explain?

Swimming

2006-08-29T18:18:00.000-02:00

Today, I hit my boredom threshold. I go to the pool and doggy paddle for an hour most mornings. Nothing thrilling, just straight grunt work. So today I decided to start experimenting & see what I remember from swim class that won't threaten these way to expensive contacts. Among other things, I tried treading water. Does OH MY GAWD!!!! mean anything? I thought I was going to croak! I officially have the greatest respect for anyone who treads water in full gear for over 1 second. I was in a simple 1-piece suit & thought I'd croak after 30 seconds!

But I can feel the difference so I am going to add that in to the mix. If nothing else to break up the boredom. I am going to have to get that lasik soon. It will be a huge savings & far less of a hassle to not worry about my contacts any longer. Besides my contacts are $600 for the pair. I can take that money & spend it on lasik and be done with it.

In the short term, I need to find some place that sells those ugly swim caps. My hair is too long & too fine to risk the damage chlorine does to it. I have it soft & silky. I will not ruin that!

Is It Over Yet?

2006-08-28T20:56:00.000-02:00

I'm in a mild form of hell. I'll give the highlights now. In a few days I'll see the funny side of this. Right now, I'm just pissed, tired, ready to fight or cry at the drop of a hat.

Why?

Well, the outer wall of my room is nothing more than paneling over 2x4's basically. Inside & out. No insulation. No sealant in any size, shape, or form. Just cheap wood paneling & unpainted base boards inside & exterior siding outside. Zilch in between & most definitely nothing at the bottom.

How did I discover this? Because we have had some serious rain lately, we are & looking forward to more thanks to this hurricane down in Cuba. Because the outer wall was buried in about 10 inches of dirt, all the excess water ran inside. Under boxes, under books, under journals, under clothes, under furniture - about 1/2 way across the floor.

It now stinks to high heaven, I dried everything out and clean it all enough over the weekend so that today I stripped the room down and rearranged. I spent my day off Friday outside raking out about 10 inches of dirt, clearing between the siding & cement pad. I've tossed 4 large trash bags of papers & books. Have done 7 loads of laundry. Prayed that my furniture doesn't rot. Little things. Satuirday & Sunday I cleaned madly & dried everything I could with either a fan or a hair dryer. That was oodles of fun, believe me. Today, I stripped the room down and rearranged. Tomorrow, I'm going shopping & getting some of that canned foam expanding insulation to put outside. May not do a damn thing, but it will make me feel better.

Other than that, not much else is going on. This morning, I went swimming & thought about someone I have not seen since 1989 - Julie Hemling. My senior year of high school, she was my best friend. Then we went to college, and never saw each other again. No idea why I thouhgt of her, but judging by what my stepmom has dropped, & what did not pop up-on google, my life has been a bit more adventure filled than hers. Either that, or a bit more hate filled.

Am I the only person out there who feels bad for not being more philosophical in their blogging? I read several dozen others, but really do not feel like adding to what is already posted in blog-land. I know that I am shallow and have little to really add when on-line like this, but . . . I feel guilty! I feel like I should be exercising my mind and adding to the commentaries about the Middle East, politics, social debates, and so on & so forth. But I don't and I feel so shallow some times because I would rather read what others say and then go my merry way.

You Grew Up In The 80's If;

2006-08-25T21:42:00.000-02:00

This is for those of us with enough . . . maturity to understand.
oh.... doesnt this just take you back to our child hood ;-)

You Know You Grew Up In The 80's if:
1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word SIKE.
2. You watched the Pound Puppies.
3. You can sing the rap to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and can do the Carlton
4. Girls wore biker shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy.
5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.
6. You owned those lil' Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.
7. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom
8. Two words: Hammer Pants
9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock"
10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars... and spokey-dokes or playing cards on your spokes for that incredible sound effect
11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales" (Woo ooh!)
12. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
14. You saw the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the big screen..and still know the turtles names.
15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
16. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.
17. You played the game "MASH"(Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House)
18. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.
19. L.A. Gear....need I say more?
20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten. (She's Truly Outrageous.)
21. You remember reading Tales of a fourth grade nothing and all The Ramona books.
22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"
23. You wanted to be a Goonie.
24. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us...head-to-toe)
25. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.
26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
27. You took lunch boxes to school...and traded Garbage Pailkids in the schoolyard.
28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.
29. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence.
30. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.
31. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.
32. You thought She-ra (Princess of Power!) and He-Man should hook up.
33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets. 34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes.
35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"
36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"
37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.
39. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.
41. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.
42. You remember Popples.
43. Don't worry, be happy
44. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.
45. You wore socks scrunched down (and sometimes still do..getting yelled at by younger hip members of the family) 46. You remember boom boxes and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that.
47. You remember watching both Gremlins movies.
48. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!!"
49 You remember watching Rainbow Bright and & My Little Pony Tales
50. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.
51. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.
52. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool...and don't even flinch when people refer to them as "NKOTB"
53. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell," The ORIGINAL class.
54. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THROUGH THE HEART.
55. You just sang those words to yourself.
56. You remember watching Magic vs. Bird.
57. Homemade Levi shorts.. (the shorter the better)
58. You remember when mullets were cool!
59. You had a mullet! 60. You still sing "We are the World"
61. You tight rolled your jeans.
62. You owned a bannana clip.
63. You remember "Where's the Beef?"
64. You used to (and probably still do) say "What you talkin' 'bout Willis?"
65 You had big hair and you knew how to use it.
66. You're still singing shot through the heart in your head, aren't you!

Bit of Self-Discovery

2006-08-20T20:58:00.000-02:00

Lately, a close friend has been inspiring me to think of relationships in a less than negative manner. If it would not freak the poor soul out completely, I'd say thank you. That would mean all sorts of explanations, so if you are reading this, then know how much I appreciate you and try not to get too mad at me if I screw up in this posting, OK?

Anyway, part of my self-analysis has been my personal comfort levels. I read far more than I should, listen to others describe their relationships of whatever type, watch TV, listen to the radio, and recognize that there is a wide spectrum of personal comfort levels. Mine is fairly normal, I think. I mean, I might make it some where around impossible for someone new to enter my life, but once you are in, the boundaries are pretty non-existent. It does not bother me if someone has to use the bathroom but continues the conversation while in there doing whatever, and vice versa. It does not bother me to run around with my hair an absolute mess. I only get fussy when my clothes are still in the closet and I am not related to you some how.

Probably the only weirdness I have is 1 I developed over the years. Many years ago, I trusted everyone & it did not bother me if someone sat close to me, helped me with my jacket, gave me a backrub. Thanks to more than a few negative experiences, the number of people I can stand to even sit beside on a sofa is pretty small. As we have been discovering, it even includes my family. Though I have to admit that I can tolerate longer periods with them than I can most.

1 of the small light bulb moments I have had is how I can name on 1 hand, with 3 fingers left, the number of people I have been able to just fall asleep on, and I mean that literally. I'm talking about the sort of trust where you can sprawl out & sleep hard and not worry about drooling, sweating till you stick to one another, and just sleep. My grandmother & my longest lasting fuck buddy are it. My mom tells horror stories of trying to get me asleep because I would not be lulled to sleep by anyone, but insisted that my grandmother hold me. Not to say she & Dad couldn't get me to sleep, but I have heard many stories of how annoying I was - & still am - about sleep.

There are also many stories of how, once I am asleep, you could have an entire conversation with me & I would never twitch a muscle. Or even better, the Disney after dark stories. I will explain that in detail if anyone is foolhardy enough to actually ask, but for those who know me & my past, yes, it was K.E.G. who's "advances" I slept through, well enough he always smirked. Rather sad when you think about it.

A lot of this is rehashing & I know that. But during our conversations, I have been thinking about my past and how it has put me in a position to help a friend make several difficult choices. Without some of my experiences, I could not have the openmindedness to just listen to what I am hearing. I would probably judge and then who knows how things would progress? I might not be thrilled at the drama of this situation, but at least I can help by supporting decisions & giving my impressions.

Cheesy, Guidepost moments coming -

It has been a comfort of sorts to know that experiences I have had, which ended in a distinctly shitty way, have not been a total waste. I know that I would do everything the same, though there are a few moments I would have reacted faster or a bit differently. Overall, I would probably do everything the same as I did. That has been a relief to realize because I have been second guessing and doubting & generally wondering. Now, while I still find myself pissed off at how things ended, it does not matter. I said goodbye and have gone on. I can now say that I have no real regrets over the past 13 years or so on the relationship side. That is a good feeling.

Now all I have to do is get past the remaining angst over how the jackass did not end things and my general vague feelings of loss off a good friend and life will be perfect. But hey, I have lots of time to do that as I work hard to move inland. ;-)

New thought -

I really can not wait for the next few years to pass. I know that a lot can happen over the next few years. That's what happens when time passes after all. But as a family we have a rough 6 year plan for what we want to occur. At the end of it, we will be living inland in any of the following states - SC, NC, TN, KY, VA, or WV. We want seasons again. None of us want to worry about a hurricane coming through and wiping out not only our home but our jobs and everything else. I know that it will take 2-5 years for this chaos my mom, sister, nephew & I have created to be sorted out and all of us in the position to move away, but it works because none of us is ready to move. We just all know that 6 years we all want to be in that geographical area.

Mom will be retired in 6 years & plans on being some place close to my nephew. My sister intends to finish her business degree here, get a job & 2-4 years experience as an accountant, possibly working towards her CPA, while my nephew gets his elementary years under his belt in 1 school. I will be maturing further & deciding what I want to be when I grow up. In 6 years, no matter what I choose, it will be some place else.

As for this job at the nursery, I am still stunned at how well I am fitting in & enjoying myself. I am debating on just what I want for myself long term because this is not a career field with a great retirement plan. In fact, there really isn't one. Benefits are something you get IF you work for a place like Wal-Mart or Lowe's. For what I am doing, health insurance & retirement are strictly up to the individual. Since I am still completely confused about my future and only know what I need to help accomplish over the next 6 months to 6 years, I am pulling a Scarlett O'Hara - I'll think about it tomorrow.

Anyway, that's' the plan here. Not much else going on beyond working in this ridiculous heat, taking care of the yard, ferrying my nephew to soccer & school functions, my sister to her classes, & running all errands for Mom. Maybe I should look into housekeeping? It can't be any worse than this. In fact, it is probably easier than working in a nursery. It's just that I do not want to deal with other peoples laundry, you know?

Oh well. Decisions are for later.
(My new mantra.)

HeHeHe!

2006-08-16T20:37:00.000-02:00

THIS IS THE BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE, AND PROBABLY THE CENTURY.

A Charlotte, NC lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire, among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued.. and WON!
(Stay with me.)
In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer "held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire" and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process,the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyerfor his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires".
NOW FOR THE BEST PART...
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!
With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

ONLY IN AMERICA! NO WONDER THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES THINK WE'RE NUTS.

Almost forgot this!

2006-08-15T18:56:00.000-02:00

I started something new on Monday. So far, I can feel a difference though visibly, there are no results. I started swimming at the local Parks And Leisure Services public pool just a few miles down the road. I go swim laps for about an hour, take a shower there too.

Rhapsodizing a moment here, so excuse me. I found the place by sheer serendipity. My sister & went to the main office of P.A.L.S.'s to sign my nephew up for soccer. While she filled out the forms, I wandered about & was impressed. We had been to the local YMCA & all things considered, the Y is a better facility. However, none of us can afford a $100 sign up fee, plus $125/month to use the facility as a family. For just me, it is a $75 sign-up fee + $55/month. The Y is a better facility, can be accessed anywhere if you travel, and their resources are all in 3 major locations, which is a nice feature.

However, all I want is to be able to swim laps because I can not lift weights, jogging is a no go, and I've already been told that anything beyond walking, yoga, tai chi, and swimming is a guarantee to destroy my lower back & knees, not to mention I'll run the risk of destroying my right hip joint entirely. I was even told that if I decided to take up kayaking or canoeing or kayaking or any thing along those lines, I have to approach it the way I do my walking. LIMITED! Too long, too much stress, I'm liable to slip another disc.

Soooo, paying for a bunch of stuff I can not use rubbed my literally poor self raw, so I kept looking. On the day we signed Little Man up for soccer, I found it! P.A.L.S. has several pools! The 1 I go to is just down the road by my nephews future high school. It is $25/person for a month (or $35 for a family), unlimited usage. They also have a really nice soccer field, walking tracks, play grounds, handball courts, small classes for yoga, tai chi, arts & crafts, etc. I'm excited about this because so far I have enjoyed it. We'll see what happens in a month.

I do feel bad about the poor life guards though. So far, I have been the only person there in the morning. That has to be incredibly boring watching me dog paddle back & forth, you know?

Tuesday's Notes

2006-08-15T18:24:00.000-02:00

I have discovered another reason why not to have children. They get in trouble & lose some priviledge, then everyone else is also in torment. Here in this household, the 7 yr old has lost all TV priviledges after school. He can watch TV in the morning AFTER he's gotten ready for school & on Saturday. The rest of the time, we are all out of luck.

Not a big deal, right? WRONG! We all suffer because he keeps asking if he can watch a movie, a DVD, a VHS, play his gameboy, whatever. He gets in trouble for throwing a temper tantrum, & gets time out. He then stomps off & wails away with those gloriously false tears that have driven adults insane across time. Instead of having a quiet Sunday, we get to play annoying games all day long. It's torture for someone like me who prefers the quiet.

I'm sure this is making a better person of me, but I'll have to wait a few years and get back to you on how. And then maybe I might, might wax nostalgic over the memories. Now? HA!

Ah well.

And now for a brief endorsement -

For pet owners who have finicky cats with twitchy stomachs, but a limited budget, here's something to consider. Meow Mix has that new Market Fresh plastic tub stuff out now. I'm living with 5 of the meowers & with 1 of those tubs, each morning I can scoop out 1 teaspoon for each of them. They are happy campers & everyone gets the same thing. It's a decent price & the best part of all is the 3 cats with twitchy tummies do not ralph it all back up again for us to walk in. That last is a MAJOR consideration around here because whatever they ralph up tends to multiply in mass on the return trip.

We have also decided to try the cats & the 10 year old Australian Shepherd out on Pedigree's new organic dry food. So far, the cats have been eating their version with great joy, and most importantly, NOT throwing it all back up. In fact, we have noticed a marked decrease in litter box smell & hacked up hair balls. There may not be any relation what so ever, but since that is the only new thing, we are going with the flow. As for the dog, well, we started off with a small bag. She tracked that bag like she does my nephew's beef jerky bags if that says anything.

People Are Strange

2006-08-14T17:24:00.000-02:00

I am listening to Montel right now. I appreciate his gossip show over the rest because the majority of the people he features are good, steady, middle class people who got screwed & are either on a crusade to help others avoid their mistakes or are in such desperate need for help, that they are willing to be a negative example. It is not Jerry Springer - esque, notr is it an Oprah sob fest complete with bits on how you too can look like Nicole Kidman for the low cost of only $1,000! Whoo-Hooo!

Any way, he has people on who really got screwed by the opposite sex. I should not be watching this show because I am already cynical about interpersonal relationships. But anyway, these are people who fell for the ultimate scammers. These are people who married multiple times without bothering to divorce anyone. Scum who floated from house to house, living off all of these people, telling huge lies to explain all the little details away.

I do not get that sort of mentality. How can you willing go from 1 person to another, sleeping with all of them, being what each of them wants/needs to the point that they do not question the extended absences, and generally making it work? I can get the extended absences because they are a fact of life if 1 or both are military, police, firemen, whatever. And I understand the high divorce rates because it is hard to cope with watching someone you love go off in their uniform that you bitch about washing & ironing, knowing that there is a fairly strong chance the next time you see them, they could have a bullet hole, glass shards, bone(s) broken, whatever. But what if that is not the reason given? What if it is all a lie? And you find out about it? I know I would be pissed and make some rather drastic changes, the least of which would changing the locks & making sure all utilities & credit cards are in my name ONLY. Moving would be next & so would be a visit to the lawyers & cops, but that is just me.

But the relational aspects throw me completely. I have a hard enough time being everything my family wants me to be, let alone my deliberately small circle of friends. Fortunately, all of us have lives that mean I can disappear from theirs & not be missed or worried about. The internet (& this blog) have helped a lot there, but it is still true. We do talk, we do visit, but it is hard enough to be calm, patient, & understanding where anyone is concerned. So how do these shit heads pull it off for so many different people?

I am awed in a rather repulsed kind of way. I want to know how they can be so charming and emotionally "there" that there are people willing to give to them & buy the lines they sell.

I do not mean to imply that I am innocent of any of these same things, no one is. But then again, I do not have 15 husbands in a 3 state area, all of them paying for a house, my credit cards, and legal fees, each of them willing to stay with me to the day I die either. I have not lied to 10 others, each of them believing I was a member of the military when in reality I was a convicted deserter & had a bounty on my head. Little different things like that, you know?

Waaah!

2006-08-11T21:50:00.000-02:00

I am so horribly confused. I enjoy this job. I like this job. I like the people I work with & for. The hours are perfect given the demands of my personal life. I enjoy the actual work of my job. Unfortunately, there are several big, looming BUTS that detract from my pleasure and I am not sure if I should wait & see or follow the "damn the torpedo" philosophy.

To explain - I am working at a garden nursery for $8/hour, 15-30 hours a week, no benefits, and only perk is a 30% discount on everything & an incredibly nice work environment. Oh, & a HUGE weight loss program because you sweat so much you lose at least 5 lbs. a day. It helps that this job is less than a mile away from home so I walk to work, saving gas & losing weight.

However, the downside is that the landlord is not going to renew in a year so the entire business will be moving, probably closer to Hilton Head, which is nothing I really like to think about. I will never work more than part time, and while there will be pay raises, they are incremental and after my 6 month raise, I won't see another for a year. Which is standard & perfectly OK. If I want to make this a career choice, then I am going to have to go back to school and start learning about plants, their growth cycles, pests, diseases, etc. Do-able, but I am so bloody tired still from my last foray into higher education and my last job as a librarian. I am not sure I will be able to face going back to school for a LOOOONG time.

I also do not want to spend the rest of my life in this area. I really want to move to the Tennessee, Kentucky, Virginia area. I like the areas, I'd be closer to the majority of my friends, my family would be closer. That is once my mom retired & moved in 6 years. My sister is already studying the job market in Tennessee & intends to move once her son is in about 5th grade.

I would like to regain my independence again and have a real bathroom I can take a real bath in without arguing for a week before & after. I'd like to have a real pay check so that I can go to various locations & visit them, playing tourist on occasion. And let's not talk about benefits & their attraction!

But I genuinely like this current job & I do not know what to do & which way to jump any more. I have my parents nagging me, my anti-social tendencies getting harder & harder to surpress, and I am confused!

I'm A Wuss

2006-08-10T20:58:00.000-02:00

Not too many years ago, I was able to function on 5-6 hours of sleep a night, boosted by some liquid form of caffeine. Now? If I don't get 7-9 hours of sleep, then I am trashed till I catch up. This getting old crap sucks!

Random Thoughts

2006-08-09T10:41:00.000-02:00

Thought 1 - Sunday nights, we tend to watch ABC's Extreme Home Makeover. We enjoy the show because it does tend to be rather positive and not nearly as grim & depressing as some of the other TV options out there. That & its a brainless show so we can knit, work on puzzles, paperwork, whatever while it's on.

The problem which we all have, and 1 I have heard expressed by others (right, exmi?) is that the house's built are usually way over the top & beyond the means of the person they are helping. Sure, who wouldn't love a brand new house with a pool, water features, massive rooms, new appliances, weight room, and whatever else you can fit in. But who is paying the taxes on the new house? And let's not forget the utility bills because you know those are going to leap upwards. Throw in the fact that most of these families are extremely stressed out and running around madly trying to accomplish more than most every day. S how are they going to take care of all those little, every day things like mowing their new landscaped yard and trimming the hedges and making sure the walks are edged and so on & so forth?

Thought 2 is about something I saw on the local news last night. They did a piece on this gentleman who was a wee bit unhappy with his power company. Every month for the past 4 years he would open his power bill up & write the check & be done with it till next month. Not this month. He opened it and choked on the $2400.00 bill he got. It seems that for the past 4 years his meter was running slow & finally died. When it died, the power company discovered the problem and then estimated how much the man would owe and billed him.

Naturally, he was upset and while he offered to make payments, the company is demanding everything NOW! Since he is on a fixed income, there are a few issues there, so he called the news & the Better Business Bureau. They stepped forward, talked with other power co.'s who agreed that since this is such a rare event and it's not as if the guy did this deliberately, they would just eat the cost. It's not as if it was noticed over the past 4 years after all so they would be at fault, not the customer. I mean really, can you read your own meter? And would you know if it was running slow or not? I wouldn't! Here's the link with more details if anyone's interested.

Thought 3 - I have got to find a good "gardeners soap." The dirt and general plant life that gets ground into my skin at work is really astonishing. In fact, if no one has any suggestions beyond running my nails along a soap bar to keep the dirt out from there, I am open to them all. Including how to get stains out of a white shirt. Ground in leaf is an absolute bitch to get out.

Thought 4 - Unless some major upheaval comes along, I am publicly declaring my intention of renting a motel room some day in 2007 and taking a long, hot bath. I am starting to fantasize about hot tubs and drool over bubble bath supplies at Wal-Mart. I had not realized how addicted I was until I moved in here and discovered that I can not take a long, HOT bubble bath here. It does not help that I recognize the reasons, I WANT A HOT BUBBLE BATH! Just because the tub will not hold heat for more than 10 minutes, the idea of privacy in the bathroom is a joke, I could not have an scented candles, soft misic playing, or a glass of wine because of the cramped nature of the bathroom mixed with the fact that the only time I could commandeer the bathroom is when my nephew is in bed and it's just a lost cause. So I am going to rent a cheap room & TAKE A BUBBLE BATH!

Thought 4 - In 2007, a cousin will be getting married. On many levels, I am absolutely thrilled for her & I wish her the absolute best. I think the wedding she has planned will be a spectacular event and will be a memorable event she will cherish. However, I am trying hard not to be repulsed by it all.

Why? Because she is having a full wedding mass in a Catholic church, in Washington D.C., at 7 pm, with a dinner reception afterwards. Because they have been living together for the past 6 years in a place they bought together, after dating since their freshman years in college. Because they are registered at Macy's along with Crate & Barrel, the wish list of wedding gifts are all along the lines of items I know they already have, but they want someone else to get them the newer, better model that they either did not want to pay for or are not ready to get to replace their old one. That & most of what they are registered for is well over the $150 mark, which just offends me. Mix into this a certain level of resentment because if I go, it will be just for the wedding & I will not be able to go sight seeing - AGAIN! I hate going some place with several locations I want to see - like the Zoo & Smithsonian - but be on a time & budget limit & unable to go.

And I feel awful for resenting all of her wedding arrangements, especially since this is HER day. I do not begrudge her the wedding & the extravagance, but I guess in some ways I am bewildered and contemptuous of the hoopla she is creating. I know, as I sit here typing this, that a lot of my negative emotional response is because every wedding I have been to that was "an event" has turned out to be a vile marriage, while every simple wedding I have been to has turned out to be a marriage worth emulating. I know that a lot of it is a resentment over the sheer fretting everyone is going to generating, which is going to tick me off. And I am going to have to smile and congratulate everyone, knowing that whatever I find to wear will not be appropriate because my life style does not have a thing in common with theirs.

Hmmmm, you know, that might be the biggest part of my desire not to go. I know I will not fit in. I do not go out & drop $600 on a latte machine, let alone a pair of shoes. Yet these people do. I'd rather be outside playing in the dirt, sweating like a pig, yet these people barely recognize a gardens existence.

Party Time!

2006-08-08T21:06:00.000-02:00

YIPPIE! I have DSL again! Life is so cool! Yippie!

I can start visiting blogs with lots of pics like Must Be Tuesdays and check out web sites with lots of cute pictures and watch trailers for movies and other cute wave files. I can download music! This is so cool!

My mother was extremely hesitant to get DSL, but Embarq/Sprint is currently running a really good deal & its actually cheaper now than it was under her old dial-up plan. So who am I to complain? If all goes well, I might be able to justify satellite under her name with me paying the bill. We shall see what happens but this is so nice. No hoping that I do not get kicked off the net. No more reading 2 or more chapters in a book while waiting for my email to load. Nirvana!

Today at work, I came to a startling conclusion. It's hot. Amazing, isn't it?

I'm about to be a commercial, but that Propel by Gatorade has been the best choice out of everything I have taken to keep hydrated at work. Regular Gatorade tastes way to salty, which makes me even thirstier. Water gets blah pretty damn quick. Tea sends me to the port-a-potty & then back for more to drink, repeating frequently. But this Propel, it has flavor but doesn't leave me craving more because my mouth feels like the Sahara just moved in, nor so sugary that I end up with a headache in this heat.

And yes, we have a port-a-potty. Where I work, there is no real plumbing. What there is, is an excellent irrigation system with water facets strategically raised for staff convenience and a port-a-potty in the back. It has been an education in etiquette using the monstrosity, especially since all we have is fans through out the property. There is no a/c anywhere on the property. It gets hot. Since I am blessed with the ability to sweat like mad in any temperature, I routinely come home literally dripping wet. I wring my clothes out at the end of a day at work, and in this heat, I go in back & wring my shirt out at least once. Since I am also covered in dirt and plant leaves, it is really disgusting.

What is truly astonishing is home much I love this job. On many levels I should not. I work hard, my hands and feet are anything but smooth & delicate. I have freckles forming all over. I sweat like a pig. I stink. Yet I can't wait to go back to work and am wondering about getting a degree in horticulture. I know that I would have to specialize because I have no desire to be a grower, or irrigation expert, or involved in hardscape land scaping (concrete, fountains, etc.). That leaves nurseries and landscaping, with all the specialization in those areas. I have a tenative plan to work at this job until next year. Then I will ask about working with the landscape crews and see what happens there. Which ever I discover I enjoy more, then that is what I will start focusing on as a full time career. I will go for the necessary accreditation, and see what happens from there.

Either that or end up dead from heat exhaustion.

Serious note, but these gas prices are getting out of hand. I disagree with a lot of what is happening in our government now, but this is really annoying. It does not help when I read & hear the so-called experts rambling on about how these higher gas prices are not going to affect the average American family. I'd like to know just what these experts consider an average American family because I meet people from a wide spectrum of socio-economic backgrounds, yet EVERYONE is currently hurting & these gas prices are not helping.

Something a friend emailed me.

2006-08-08T10:16:00.000-02:00

WARNING!
This is not PC by any stretch! It tickled my sense of humor, but you might not enjoy it, my few readers!

Flight Attendant
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."
To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so, I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch."

I've been dreaming.

2006-07-29T14:53:00.000-02:00

Let me start off by saying that my dreams do not, under any circumstances, compare to exmi's. But lately, I have been recalling my dreams & some are just down right weird. These are shortened versions because a lot of my dreams I just do not recall much beyond the gist/theme/major highlights as the case may be.

the 1st dream I was conned by 1 of my ex boyfriend's, and the only 1 who almost managed to get me to the alter, to be a guest violinist in his class. Basically, I was to be his show & tell for the day. In the dream, I was sitting there in the front of a college classroom, listening to the professor going on & on about my qualities & such, being extremely detailed which made me a lot confused, and give a short demo himself of what someone playing the violin looks & sounds like. And during all of this, the fact that I have never once in my life even picked up a violin was politely mentioned & ignored. Before I could stand up & do my demonstration of total violin incompetence, my alarm went off.

The next dream was even stranger. I remember even less of this one, but I was living in a nice 3 bedroom house with my sister's ex-husband, his new wife & step son. It was all very polite & all, and it was made bearable to me because I was the owner of the place, but it was odd because not only was my sister OK with it all, but she got a kick out the situation. It helped that he & his family were perennially late with their share of the bill money. Throw in the fact that I rarely saw them, & it worked.

The final dream is even stranger. I was dating/living with Ty Pendington (spelling?) of ABC's Extreme Home Makeover fame. The 2 of us had made a stop at some sort of fair and were wandering around when a couple he had helped in the past approached & asked for additional help because they had failed in all their other attempts. While Ty talked with the husband, I baby shopped with the wife/mother-to-be. Eventually, Ty wrapped up the conversation and we wandered down the aisle. At the end we found this weird buffet line that had pizza, spaghetti, hamburgers, hotdogs, sausage, hotdog-burgers, & sausage-burgers. I got just a burger, but he tried the sausage burger. It was ridiculously phallic looking because what they did in my dream is wrap hamburger meat around a sausage or hot dog & then grilled it. There are other memory flashes from that dream, but they mostly revolve around being held, and how it felt to be pulled close & all that good stuff.

As I said, weird. Where any of that came from I do not know. Especially since the closest to watching TV I have done in months is the local news, Hot Wheels movies 1-3, & the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

And as a bit of clarification, I have posted some negative comments about chihauha's on exmi's blog. I think they are cute friendly dogs that are great family pets. I have played with & baby sat many over the years. But I have a hard time coping with a breed that I know was bred originally for the dinner pot. I know that in the Orient (Japan, Korea, China, etc.), and parts of Europe if PETA is to be believed, it is still common to eat dog, cat & horse meat, but they also bred the animals for other purposes. Never solely as food. It makes it hard to take the little fuzz balls seriously.

It's Thursday

2006-07-27T18:47:00.000-02:00

Another day has passed. I am incredibly sore right now and I'm feeling old, fat, & ugly. Yesterday at work, we CLEANED. As in, my boss & I removed multiple climbing rose bushes down to the roots. We cleared vines & weeds throughout the property. We shifted planters ranging from small 4 inch pots to 100 gallon monsters. We rearranged plants. Moved the freakin' water fountains in all their monstrous glory to a new location after scrubbing them down.

Now, I fuckin' ache. I have red ant bites on my hands & feet, so they are swollen and incredibly itchy. I had cockroaches crawling on me, & my reactions - usually a shriek with shudders - were not helped by my boss who backed away shrieking & shuddering.

Oh well. We did do an excellent job & I am proud of what we accomplished. I just wish I was younger & healthier because it takes too long to recover anymore. It is downright depressing.

Anyway, for those few of you who read this, can anyone explain to me what an iPod is & how you use it? As in, how do you get the music on the thingy? And any hints as to what to look for would also be appreciated. Thanks!

It's Freakin' Hot!

2006-07-22T20:49:00.000-02:00

It's been a while since I posted. Wish I could say it was because something exciting was happening, but that's not in the cards. Over the past few weeks, our A/C has crashed & died. Fortunately, the repairmen were prompt and saved us from being broiled alive. I've been working in this 100 degree heat at the nursery and then spending my days off here at home clearing the yard of various mulberry bushes & vines.

I have also been to see the new "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest." I loved it, but with 1 major proviso. I have listened to the reviews and general hype so I know what is coming up in next year's installment. So a lot of the excitement was just not there. I enjoyed it, but knowing just killed the climatic thrills.

1 of the benies of going to the theater was the trailer for the new Transformers movie coming out next July. Since I grew up watching those cartoons and playing with the toys, and generally enjoying my childhood, I am looking forward to seeing more about the movie. I will go see Tranformers for pretty much the same reason will go see Miami Vice. I grew up watching the show & I am curious to know what comes next. Besides, I can't rent in this house until my mother goes back to work because my taste in movies is too violent for her taste. Since she is Mom, she rules.

I have no desire to be a mom, but mom's sure have the power. Really kind of grumpy about that. But, since I am living for free right now, I guess I should be counting my numerous blessings & try not to be too obvious as I count the days.

Not much else going on. Working with plants either at work or here at home. Reading when I grab a few hours. Going to be around 9 pm so I can get up at 4 am to have some privacy and do my yoga before everyone else is up. I have learned most conclusively that when I do my yoga alone early in the morning my day goes much more smoothly & peacefully. If I sleep in, then I end up being a jungle gym for my nephew & trying to flow from upward dog to downward dog is hard enough with a bad back, adding 60 lbs of hyper active 7 yr old makes it impossible. Since I also get to be a sounding board for my mother & pet diversion for my sister so she can become human, it is just easier to get up ridiculously early. 1 of my goals is to buy a cheap DVD player so I can do my yoga in my bedroom in privacy. I know there will be comments, but at least I will have peace.

When I finally do move out, I will be a rabid dog where my privacy is concerned. I will be more than happy to have guests, but only by appointment. Preferably 4 weeks in advance. And maybe I'll make arrangements so my company can stay in a motel. And I am going to create a wine "cellar" because I am the only drinker right now. I am not a big drinker by any stretch, but I do like having a glass of wine occasionally, usually when I take a hot bath and am burning candles, listening to soothing Gregorian chants, and generally relaxing. But that will have to wait a bit. Joy.

No Order What-So-Ever

2006-06-23T21:21:00.000-02:00

Today has been a good day. Despite some bad news the other day about exmi's dog, Beadle, life is actually pretty good. Beadle, last I heard was doing good and recovering well from a rattle snake bite. I am going to hold on to this positive feeling with teeth and nails, because I need it to cope.

However, in the past week & a half since I last posted, lots of fun things have happened.

I went with my sister & nephew to see the GREAT movie "CARS". THAT WAS GREAT!!!!!! I fully intend to add that to my personal collection, plus I already have the sound track. I sincerely wish that there were more movies like this one. There was nothing you could not discuss with others, there were lots of adorable moments, several really great laughs, and it was fun for all 3 of us.

I also watched the movie "The Brothers Grimm." Don't bother seems the best way to put it.

I was FINALLY hired. I am now working at a garden nursery. Only 16 hours a week, no benefits beyond a 30% staff discount, minimum wage, it is hot, sweaty, and - let me stress this - REALLY HOT & SWEATY work, but so far, I am enjoying it. The people whom I have met are incredibly nice. We laugh a lot. They introduced me to a new brand of shoes that I am starting to fall in complete love with because they are beyond comfortable. They are called crocs. Check them out. They come in extra small, small, medium, large & extra large sizes, but it doesn't matter. I have the smalls because I wear a 6 1/2, and these fit like a dream. The added advantage is that they are made out of rubber so when I get water sloshing all over, they do not gain an additional 20lbs. like wet sneakers do. Throw in the funny little massaging bumps, and these are really great on your feet all day shoes.

Continuing my positive list, I have a SC driver's license, my car is legally registered here in SC, I have a job so I can legitimately get out of the house with no one accompanying me, I have dropped 10 lbs., so I am down to 153 & have 28 more to go. I have found some really good green tea by Lipton. I have my own bedroom with my own bed and that is beyond wonderful. I am no longer sleeping with my sister. YIPPIE! I can actually close the door and be as barbaric as I please. Or even better, I can go to sleep!

That's about it right now. I am tired. This time in the sun is HARD. I am actually developing a tan for the 1st time in years and it is startling. I look down to wash my legs in the shower and they aren't fish belly white. They are tanned! I have some incredible tan lines, but since I am wearing shorts, it is not too bad.

Hello Again

2006-06-07T23:24:00.000-02:00

FINALLY! The neighbors have pretty much finished cleaning out their yard. It took a total of 10 construction dumpsters, multiple trips from various salvage yards, and a bit over a month, but the mess is gone. The rat & cockroach population have seemingly exploded as they scurry for new homes, but that's to be expected. I guess. Maybe.

Now that they are FINALLY finished, my allergies have started to settle down. I was starting to wonder quite honestly if I would ever be able to breath normally again. Claritan has helped bunches, but when they remove that much sheer quantity, it is hard for the Claritan to keep up. It does not matter that I vacuum daily, wash my sheets twice a week, shower at least once a day, wear filters when I work outside, and generally pray for wet days because then the pollen doesn't scatter quite so much.

Other than that, not much is going on. I am rapidly approaching flat broke. I have not recieved any call backs, though I have had an interview to teach freshman college English for 1 of the local marine based universities. If that falls in to place, I will get about $1,000 every 3 months. That's nothing to sneeze at, just wish for more. But then, who doesn't?

Since nothing else is falling in to place, I have decided to take the advice of several friends and family members and try my hand at writing. I am terrifies to even start. Going to have to if I am going to find out if I have what it takes to get published & I know it. Does not chance the fact that starting is still the hardest part.

Some other good news - at least for me. I have my own bedroom again! It is the converted garage that my mom & sister had been using as a giant junk bin, but I cleaned it out over time, and took LOTS of trips to the dump. Once I accomplished the hard stuff, I rented a UHaul & got my bed & the rest of my bedroom "suite," and managed to do it all in a morning with a little help from my sister. Since it means that she no longer is sharing a bed with me, she was more than willing to help haul everything around. Mom helped by supplying the $40 to rent the truck & stayed out of the way. I was surprised by her donation, but since she was tired of our bitching, she figured $40 was worth it.

Still not sure how I feel about that sentiment.

I am sleeping again and am hoping that within a week or so, I will be feeling a lot more rested and have my mind back. Since my brain (and lungs) have been operating at less than full capacity, I am looking forward to having oxygen flowing freely through my body, and the effect it will have on my brain. As it is, all the neighbors in this tiny community I am now living in all joke about how they can all find me by my sneezes, and how they keep looking for the chickens I must be chasing to help me out. I smile a lot and am pleased to say that I have not audibly ground my teeth - yet.

Another Week

2006-05-26T23:05:00.000-02:00

I am finally able to breath! Life is GREAT!

Claritain has become my personal drug of choice. For anyone suffering from allergies, TRY IT!
Ignore me, I'm on an oxygen high now & LOVING IT!

For anyone who does not suffer from allergies, runny nose, stuffy nose, itchy throat, itchy eyes, watery eyes, routine sinus & ear infections, I hope you realize just how blessed your life is. Speaking as someone who lives with all the above, life can be absolutely miserable on a routine basis.

Anyway, my nemisis has uncovered even more trash. They have burned more wood, had 5 more recycling experts over to gather their gleanings, and had yet 2 more construction site size dumpsters delivered. If it wasn't so necessary, I'd feel sorry for the poor bastards. As it is, my allerhies are bad enough that I am glad they are having all to pay for this. Though I am not so evil-natured that I don't hope the junk yard & recycling experts give my neighbors enough to help lessen the financial bite.

On another topic, my job searching is going no where fast. I have sent out resumes left & right, via mail, email, & fax, plus a few hand delivered, but gotten nothing back beyond an offer at a local branch of a university located at The Marine Corp. Air Station as an adjunct faculty position teaching English. If everything falls in to place, I'll start doing that this fall at the earliest, but spring is more likely. Joyous happiness.

I am not happy right now. It is too damn hot & yet according to my sister & mother it is barely comfortable. I am dripping sweat & they are wearing pants> AAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!

Allergy Grumps

2006-05-22T19:51:00.000-02:00

Been in allergy hell & only today have I been able to wear my contacts for more than an hour at a time. Since I do not have glasses, life has been complicated a bit.

1 of the neighbors (catty-corner from me) had DHEC called on them. Instead of jail time, the neighbor’s agreed to clean up the trash and remove dead trees. Not a big deal, right? HA!

So far, they have had the following hauled off in the past 2 weeks -
6 construction size dumpster’s,
3 vehicles ,
1 medium size boat,
2 of the Wal-Mart sized fishing boats,
3 flat-bed truck loads of tires,
AND scrap yard reps have been out daily to haul off their finds.

They are still not done! The crew cleaning out the sheds are also tearing down the sheds, tarps, and what-not, revealing additional layers. I have not talked to 1 of the neighbors who have not had exterminators out, because the snake, roach & rat population has been all trying to relocate as well. The cats & dogs are bringing home presents. 3 guesses how often you hear someone shrieking. As of Wednesday, they started burning. This previous Monday, they took down 4 trees and mulched those.

I have been unable to function and my nephew and mom haven’t been far behind. Itchy, sneezing, watery swollen eyes, rashes, coughing, stuffy nose, I can’t recommend living this way. The good news is that they are getting to the end and I am able to see again. Claritan is my friend. Yippie!

But, I have posted some humor below, so enjoy.

Hi, I'm Montana Dazzle-Hooter ;-)

2006-05-22T19:47:00.000-02:00

MY NEW STRIPPER NAME IS IN THE SUBJECT LINE....
See what your stripper name will be, and share it with your friends:
We all need a little stress-reliever! This only takes a minute. Please don't be a prude and ruin it. Send it on to everyone you know including the person that sent it to you. Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. And, if we are honest, we have a lot more stressful days than not. Here is your dose of humor...

A. Follow the instructions to find your new name.
B. Once you have your new name, put it in the subject box and forward it to friends and family and co-workers. Don't forget to forward it back to the person who sent it to you, so they know you participated.

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:
1. A = Fantasia
2. B = Chesty
3. C = Starr
4. D = Diamond
5. E = Montana
6. F = Angel
7. G = Sugar
8. H = Mimi
9. I = Lola
10. J =Kitty
11. K = Roxie
12. L = Dallas
13. M = Princess
14. N = Heidi
15. O = Bambi
16. P = Bunny
17. Q = Brandy
18. R = Sugar
19. S = Candy
20. T = Raquelle
21. U = Sapphire
22. V = Cinnamon
23. W = Blaze
24. X = Trixie
25. Y = Isis
26. Z = Jade

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:
28. A = Leather
29. B = Dream
30. C = Sunny
31. D = Deep
32. E = Heaven
33. F = Tight
34. G = Shimmer
35. H = Velvet
36. I = Lusty
37. J = Harley
38. K = Passion
39. L = Dazzle
40. M = Dixon
41. N = Spank
42. O = Glitter
43. P = Razor
44. Q = Meadow
45. R = Glitz
46. S = Sparkle
47. T = Sweet
48. U = Silver
49. V = Tickle
50. W = Cherry
51. X = Hard
52. Y = Night
53. Z = Amber

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:
55. A = hooter
56. B = horn
57. C = tower
58. D = fire
59. E = thighs
60. F = hips
61. G = side
62. H = jugs
63. I = shock
64. J = cocker
65. K = brook
66. L = tush
67. M = sizzle
68. N = ridge
69. O = kiss
70. P = bomb
71. Q = cream
72. R = thong
73. S = heat
74. T = whip
75. U = cheeks
76. V = rock
77. W = hiney
78. X = button
79. Y = lick
80. Z = juice

Now when you SEND THIS ON...use your new name as the subject!!

"Why God Made Moms"

2006-05-22T19:44:00.000-02:00

"Why God made moms" answers given by elementary school age children to the following questions... Be sure to read the story at the end.....

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.

THE MOMMY TEST
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth.
I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
"Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?" "Uh,"...I was thinking quickly, "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. "OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy." "Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.

"Dear Lord," the preacher began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, "without you we are but dust..." He would have continued, but at that moment one very obedient little girl (who was listening carefully) leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mommy, WHAT is butt dust?" Church was pretty much over at that point...

Another Survey

2006-05-05T00:04:00.000-02:00

Participate with me on this. I only sent this to folks whose answers are bound to be clever! This is what you are supposed to do, and try not to be LAME and spoil the fun! Just give in and do it. Click forward, change all the answers so that they apply to you then send this to a whole bunch of people you know *including* the person who sent it to you. Put your name in the subject. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little known facts about your friends. It is fun and easy questions to answer.

1. FIRST NAME? Stephanie
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? The Catholic saint, St. Stephen
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Early March sometime, after an incredibly painful morning when I could not move
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I type everything I can get away with. Does that say anything?
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Peanut Butter!
6. KIDS? Only if they are someone else’s & I can hand them back.
7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Depends
8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Of course
9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Anyone else want to answer that for me?10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes.
11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Only if the devil himself appeared & was standing there with multiple weapons.
12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? PB& J sandwich
13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Depends on how well I can bend. If I can bend over without my back deserting me, then I do untie them. Since that is becoming increasingly rare, then I just pull them off.
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Depends on the problem and who is involved.
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Ben & Jerry’s Black & Tan
16. SHOE SIZE? 6 ½ with a high arch, or a 7 with LOTS of padding
17. RED OR PINK? Red usually because pink annoys me after awhile.
18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOUR SELF? That is a loaded question... and I don't feel like crying again today!
19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Pleading the 5th
20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? It would be nice
21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Right now it is a red Scooby-Doo shirt with khaki shorts.
22. LAST THING YOU ATE? The “NEW!” Asian salad from McDonald’s
23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? CSI
24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Once again, someone who knows me answer this for me please.
25. FAVORITE SMELL? My cats, books, honeysuckle, heliotrope
26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Angie from the local Board of Ed. Asking for an official job application from me. 27. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Their body and/or voice 28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Yup ;-)
29. FAVORITE DRINK? Alcoholic-hot chocolate with Kahlua. Virgin – anything with lemon
30. FAVORITE SPORT? To watch – hockey To play – zilch though walking & kayaking are 2 activities I enjoy. Though book shopping might be a sport the way I do it
31. EYE COLOR? Brown
32. HAT SIZE? No clue. I just wear what fits or I am given
33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yup
34. FAVORITE FOOD? Chocolate
35. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? Neither, I prefer funny movies
36. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED AT THE MOVIE THEATRE? Narnia, I think
37. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Red
38. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer
39. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs if I must
40. FAVORITE DESSERT? Chocolate
41. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? I don't know.
42. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? The people I don't send this to.
43. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Rereading Laurell Hamilton’s stuff today but probably going to pick up something new tomorrow out of boredom.
44. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? A giraffe print
45. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? The Unit & NCIS
46. FAVORITE SOUNDS? Silence
47. ROLLING STONE OR BEATLES? Rolling Stones
48. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? Seattle, Washington
49. WHAT'S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT? And again, someone else who knows me needs to answer this one
50. WHEN & WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Pleading the 5th

" Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
Anais Nin

Blonde Joke

2006-05-05T00:02:00.000-02:00

The pharmacist walks into the store to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. He asks the blonde clerk "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The blonde clerk responds: "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative. "The pharmacist yells: "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with a laxative!" The blonde clerk responds, " Of course you can! Look at him, he's afraid to cough."

Some Other Random Thoughts

2006-05-04T00:36:00.000-02:00

I had a dream involving an ex and it was beyond bizarre.

I was working in 1 room, handling phone calls, dealing with paperwork, cooking, all sorts of basic chores. And in another room my ex was sitting, woprking away, completely oblivious to my existence. However, without ever turning around, looking up, anything, he casually remarked that all I needed to do was wait a bit longer and then he would have his divorce and he'd come get me.

Since ALL of my ex's have disappeared into the wild blue yonder to 1 extent or another, this is highly disturbing to me. I mean, really, when the 1 I almost did marry has basically run away from home to the point no one in his family is even sure when he left, that says a lot, you know? It does not help that most of my dreams are not so vivid that I wake up crying or have problems realizing that I was dreaming. Another disturbing detail is that I can still recall details after 2 months. Normally, I can not recall my dreams, and that also implies that I actually fell into a REM sleep. Since I have been sleeping with my sister and have cut back on the pain killers & muscle relaxants, REM sleep has been hard to get.

Total Randomness

2006-05-04T00:10:00.000-02:00

Let's see -

1st, if you look up sorcerer hunters, the complete collection, under amazon.com's dvd section, you can find that bit of info.

2nd, if the posting about age & memory wasn't so true, I think I would not have laughed so hard.

3rd, I would cheerfully maim someone for GOOD Chinese. What is here is Beaufort is NOT something to write home about.

4th, the odds of my having children are decreasing on a daily basis. As I posted before, I am living with my mother, sister & nephew now. I love & adore them all. It is my mantra every morning when I get up & every night when I go to bed. But as I watch the various levels of hell my sister goes through raising her son (my nephew) and I wonder why people want children.

Let me make clear that I do like children. They are a lot of fun, can say some truly amazing things, and I adore watching them (within reason). What boggles me is hearing someone say that they are not complete because they have not had children. That until they can carry and give birth to a child, then they have not fulfilled their God-driven purpose during this life time on the planet. The people who go to the baby section of stores "just because," and have their still-to-be conceived child's life planned out through the poor child's 1st 3 jobs after college. Those are the people I do not understand.

For myself, I have never shared in those feelings and have no baisi to comprehend them. To add to my confusion is how I watch parents whom I respect and listen to their fears, joys, worries, and hopes & wonder how they cope. I listen to new parents' talk about the education their child will/is receiving and how they worry about the outside influences. What the news and talk shows & hear all about the ways a person can be killed or maimed and personalize it as it happening to your child. The list goes on.

And that's today's random thoughts.

Please Tell Me This Won't Happen To Me!

2006-04-28T21:53:00.000-02:00

Most of these have been around for awhile, but there's a couple of new onesin here:
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!!
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher! s aid, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in.
"Disregard.", He says. "She got in the back seat by mistake."
__________________________________________
FAMILY
Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath.
She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful," as she knocked on her wooden table for good measure. " She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
> > _______________________________________________
"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
> > ___________________________________________
WHAT A CHOICE
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say, "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."
> > ____________________________________________
OLD FRIENDS (love this one)
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me . I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
_____________________________________________
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!"
"Hell," said Herman,
"It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
______________________________________________
DRIVING
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, do you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!" Mildred turned to her and said, "Crap, am I driving?"

______________________________________________________
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US, PLEASE!!!!

Something to play with

2006-04-20T00:25:00.000-02:00

How well do you know me??For instance, did you know...
Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. Admin / Grad Assistant
2. Model
3. Branch Manager
4. Program Coordinator
Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. True Lies
2. Lord of the Rings (1, 2 & 3)
3. The Mummy
4. Sorcerer Hunters
Four places you have lived
1. Kittanning, PA
2. Albany, GA
3. Statesboro, GA
4. Beaufort, SC
Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. NCIS
2. The Unit
3. Bones
4.Numbers
Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Disney
2. Atlanta, GA
3. Spartanburg, SC
4. Nashville, TN
Four website I visit daily
1. msn
2. mcas.com
3. quintessential careers
4. blogspot
Four of my favorite foods:
1. Reese's PB Cups
2. salads
3. GOOD chinese
4. fondu
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. The beach, by myself
2. My own condo
3. Any lotto office accepting my million dollar prize money
4. A mountain lake retreat

1 Other Thing

2006-04-17T00:46:00.000-02:00

I hope those of you with DSL, cable or broadband treasure your speed and continuous access. Here at my mother's, we have dial up & it is EXTREMELY tiresome. Since sitting for extended periods is painful for me, it has additional detractors in my book. Throw in the fact that it is remarkably easy to get kicked off the net, usually in the middle of applying for a job, and my levels of patience have dropped dramatically.

2 Things

2006-04-17T00:30:00.000-02:00

First, a bit about backs. I have slipped a disk in mine and have discovered just how painful a slipped disk (a.k.a. a hernia) is. It is amazing how simple things like sneezing, standing upright, getting out of bed, going to the bathroom, etc., suddenly become painful trails of strenght and paience. And when you have no job, no insurance, no money, and cn only go to free clinics, then it is especially tiresome and painful. However, I have been reassured that so long as I take it easy I should heal completely in the next few months or so and here are some neat drugs. At least it is some compensation, right?

Other than that, life is life. I have been listening to the immigration debates and really have issues with the people marching in protest and wearing the flags of their homelands, objecting to following the laws of the country they are now living and working in, but that is my humble opinion. There are others who have clearer statements I can probably pull up if anyone is actually interested.

Easter was a fun day with next to nothing accomplished beyond a wonderful meal and my nephew getting spoiled. It was a great day in my book.

I am tired of hurting and cramping and having to make sure all my wight is on my left side to prevent my right side from charlie horsing. And that is my whine. Now for some humor.

Hell hath no fury... Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement -- not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Jennifer asked her to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it," she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day." A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it." Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding!" NOW I ASK YOU ALL; IS THERE A WOMAN OUT THERE, ANYWHERE, WHO WOULDN'T ENJOY THIS STORY?

2006-04-09T15:47:00.000-02:00

I despise insects. I loathe insects. I have a strong desire to wipe them off the planet. The main reasons I won't be lobbying for such an action is because a) it would never happen & b) bugs do serve a purpose. It does not change the fact that I feel the need for another shower after cleaning out my mothers shed & the empty storage bins loaded with spider webs, cock roaches, termites, & ants. It does not change the new bites on my neck, arms & legs - 20 more! And I was wearing OFF! Sheez!

Anyway, beyond the leg cramps, itchy bug bites, & general unhappiness over how long it took for me to clean this stuff out. Life is pretty good.

"Left to Tell"

2006-04-06T23:44:00.000-02:00

I just finished a book I heard about on SCTV called "Left to Tell" by Immaculee Ilibagiza. I picked it up mainly because it was being discussed by Wayne Dwyer. Since my mother enjoys him, I requested it from the library. It FINALLY came in & I read it this evening. It is a quick read but rather surprising in its depth of devotion to God and in her ability to recall conversations from a decade ago.

Don't get me wrong, I did read it & I have copied paragraphs into my personal growth & inspirational journal. But it is things like her amazing ability to recall conversations that niggle. I recommend this book because it is an easy book to read & has some powerful themes as the basis. But . . .

What can I say? I am the type who wonders how an insurance adjustor would react if a normal person reported some of the accidents we see in the blow 'em up & shoot 'em up movies out now. I also wonder just what would happen if that assassin sniper had a serious case of Montezuma's revenge, would he have still managed to pull off that amazing shot?

Oh & to Three Score & Ranger Tom, THANK YOU! I am alive & well (mostly) and am enjoying life. The modeling gig was a lot of fun. ;-)

Here Be Dragons

2006-04-04T19:13:00.000-02:00

I spent a few minutes looking at the bean counter on this blog & came across something new. It seems that there is an "unknown country" that some poor soul lives in and visits my blog from. I want to know if it is on a map under "Here be dragons"? And where is it specifically? Are the weird, mythological creatures there? Or is it some weird cyber space location where everything is in1 's & 0's? And just how can "unknown country" be a valid option for the bean counter? Enquiring minds want to know!

It's Been 2 Months?

2006-04-03T22:47:00.000-02:00

Well, I am kind of back. Since I was fired, life has been a bit stressful. This is going to another year where I wonder about karma & just what did I do in a past life.

Let's see, I have been fired, caught pneumonia germs from my nephew which knocked me flat for the next 3 weeks, moved in with my mother (& my sister & her 6 yr old son), have had the exquisite joy of sharing a bed with my sister & our 5 cats because my furniture is in storage, wrenched my back badly enough that it has only been in the past few days that I can stand/sit/lift/bend/breath without assistance from handy pieces of furniture, been cleaning like mad (which is NOT fun when you can't bend-over, lift, sit, or any other form of flexibility)., and generally wondering why I have not even received thank you, but no thank you letters/emails/calls from the places I applied to over the past few weeks.

Other than that, life has been fairly good. About the only items of possible interest are that I had a truly strange dream involving an ex-boyfriend who was calmly working away while telling me that he would be back soon to get me. Trust me, that was not something I wanted to dream about. I have been to a knitting class with my sister. Learned that I am not all that interested in crafts in general, and knitting most definitely. However, my sister is so I have new realms for future gifts I was pleased to note.

I did a friend of my mother's a favor so I was on TV in a 6 second blip. The woman makes those ornate hats people wear to tea parties, horse races, etc. She needed a model & I agreed. It was an absolute blast! We drove up to the location - Camden, SC - so that we would get some sleep & be able to find the place the actual filming was to take place during daylight hours. Had an absolutely fantastic dinner, then gossiped for the next few hours. Then, MUCH too early the next morning, we got up and were at the location at 5 freakin' a.m. NONE of us were bright eyed & bushy tailed, trust me. The only exception was the reporter. Then at 5:45 we were on for a total of 90 seconds. I was fortunately not really in the live feed because of the way the camera was angled for most of that 90 seconds. Unfortunately, the few moments I KNOW I was on live, I had shifted to be facing the reporter & my mom's friend as they discussed the hat I was wearing,I shifted again and turned to look around. Guess what was right under the brim of my hat? The camera lens! I am positive the brief moment of shock was caught on live TV. Thrilling.

I have received numerous compliments in the form of several people taking anywhere from 2-10 years off my actual age so I know that I am doing something right. That is thrilling.

I have been to the local annual Pet Spring Fling & had a blast at that. Then again, I love fuzzies & seeing all the cute puppies was well worth the $5 donation & risks of walking around in sandals (like an idiot).

Took my sister & nephew to see a local 1 hour production of "Willy Wonka." THAT was an absolutely brilliant idea. Some genius decided that little kids & their families deserve a night at the theater and a few years ago started producing 4 plays each year geared towards kids & their families. They last an hour & afterwards there is cookies & milk - or something similar. Kids & their parent's can arrive in their jammer's if they want. This was my 1st time going & we all loved it. For a kid, the play was the right length, there was lots of music and neat objects in bold, bright colors, they were having a night with their parent's (or grandparents or aunt's or uncle's or whomever), and it was really just a good production all the way around. I adored what they did with the Oompa Loompa's and the grandparents. The Oompa Loompa's were old rolling chairs turned into puppets with those solid line Christmas lights, and the grandparents were doll's. For anyone involved in theater &/or puppetry, copy the idea if you can. We had a blast!

Well, that is all there is in my world. I will start posting again because I have too much time to kill at night while my sister studies & everyone else sleeps. Since I am the type who eats when bored, this is a better option for my waist line if nothing else.
Other than that, not much has happened.

Correction Time

2006-02-02T14:01:00.000-02:00

Well, I have to make a correction to yesterdays post. Today, I was fired. I am no longer a librarian. The scariest part is how incredibly relieved I am. I am decidedly terrified of talking with my family & all that good stuff, and distinctly leery about money issues, but I really feel like throwing a party because I no longer have to go in to work there.

What does this say about the past 3 years of my life? That I have been unusually miserable and did not realize it because I had lots of books to read?

Yup.

Oh well. Now to get on with my life, which I will do tomorrow when I go online & deal with all sorts of resume crap. But that can wait until tomorrow. Today, I need to call my parents. Ugh.

1 other correction - I have watched the sunrise with people I care about, and that includes my parents, sister, exmi, old room mates, & several really good friends. However, most of those times included early morning walks, leaving the gym so we could rush home to get cleaned up for work, and driving early morning. THAT DOES NOT COUNT! :-)=

A Fun Survey

2006-02-01T16:07:00.000-02:00

Fun Survey!! Place an X by all the things you've done, or remove the x from the ones you have not, and send it to all of your friends (including me). copy and paste

This is for your entire life:
(X ) Smoked a cigarette -
(X ) Drank so much you threw up
( ) Crashed a friend's car() Stolen a car
(X) Been in love
(X) Been dumped
(X) Shoplifted
( ) Been laid off/fired
(X ) Quit your job
( ) Been in a fist fight
( ) Snuck out of your parent's house (Snuck back in counts!)
(X) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) Been arrested
( ) Gone on a blind date -(
x) Lied to a friend
(x) Skipped school
(X ) Seen someone die
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Been lost..
(x) Been on the opposite side of the country (kindof)
(X) Gone to Washington, DC
(X) Swam in the ocean
(X) Felt like dying
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
( ) Played cops and robbers
(X) Recently colored with crayons
( ) Sang karaoke
(X) Paid for a meal with only coins
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
( ) Made prank phone calls...
( ) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) Danced in the rain
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(X) Blown bubbles
( ) Made a bonfire on the beach
( ) Crashed a party
(X) Gone roller-skating
(X)Ice-skating
1. Any nicknames? Peanut, Sis, Steph
2. Mother's name? Louise
3. What is your favorite drink? cranberry juice
4. Tattoos?? no
5. Body piercing?? Ears & belly
6. How much do you love your job? Not much anymore
7. Birthplace: Pennsylvania
8. Favorite vacation spot? Beach
9. Ever been to Africa? No
10. Ever steal any traffic signs? Nope
11. Ever been in a car accident? several12. A, B, C, D, DD cup size?? B
13. 2 Door or 4 Door? 2
14. Salad dressing? ginger
15. Favorite pie?? custard
16. Favorite Number? ??
17. Favorite movie? Ttue Lies
18. Favorite holiday?? Cnone
19. Favorite food? a salad
20 Favorite day of the week? Saturday
21.Favorite brand of body soap?? Dial
22. Favorite TV show?? Bones
23. Toothpaste?? Arm & Hammer
24. Favorite smell?? cat
25. What do you do to relax? sleep or read, clean if I am upset
26. Message to your friends/family reading this?? No one is perfect.
27. How do you see yourself in 10 years? in another state
28. What do you do when you are bored? play
29. What do you enjoy receiving? Massages
30. Furthest place you will send this message? ???
36. Who will respond the fastest? ????
37. Least likely to respond?? Most of them
38. What time is it now? 1:07 pm

It's The End of The MONTH?!?!?!?!!?

2006-01-31T20:06:00.000-02:00

OK, I know that I have been distracted, completely turned around & up-side down, stressed, and generally unhappy with this blasted wet weather, but I want to know how I missed out on winter in general & January specifically.

It is 70 degrees according to the sign at the bank, and it is January 31st. Someone, please explain to me what happened to winter? And since I do not recall New Year's Eve, or generally anything about January beyond a vague feeling of rushing to get everything done and not kill anyone. Myself being the #1 person on that list, but that's another posting. If January has passed by in a blur, what is the rest of the year going to be like? If it is already in the lower 70's, what will August be like? Will eggs cooking on the side walk be a common sight? Or to be more accurate, broiling in the 200% humidity.

Of course, there is always the chance we will have a sudden cold snap & everything will freeze in its tracks. After about a week, it will be in the upper 90's, but that is a small detail.

I will be glad for Feb. though. I may be completely unprepared for any of the chaos known as Feb., but at least I will have moved closer to work. I will no longer be driving 50 miles 1 way on dark back roads in an old car. I may not be thrilled with the new place, but I can't complain because there is lots of space, it is solid, it is cheap, I can have my pets, and it is close to work. Since that is the basic mix of what I wanted, then I will try & enjoy the ugly peeling wall paper & other disasters waiting to be discovered, & look at it as a challenge of my ability to channel Martha Stewart. If I can make it work, I will post pictures of what the trailer looks like before I move in, immediately after I move in, once I have unpacked, and then what it looks like after I have "fixed it up." That should be an interesting series of pictures.

God, please help me! I need divine intervention! Where is Martha when I need her!

Where am I? Who am I? What is Today?

2006-01-30T21:30:00.000-02:00

I am so confused! I am moving next weekend and I am stunned at how unsettled I feel. I really have no problem with moving, but this time, I feel all helter skelter. I do not have the keys for the new place yet. I have yet to get the utilities taken care of. I am going to have to get the car tag & my driver's license taken care of some how. I am rather shocked by how many books I have, and lets not talk about my wardrobe. Actually, lets talk about my wardrobe. I am starting to have to root around for my clothes & it drives me crazy. I am extremely anal retentive and not knowing where my stuff is throws me in a big way. Yes, it is in 1 of the multiple boxes in the dining room, but which one? Who cares if they are all labeled and in sections, I want "X" now!

Have I mentioned that I am a bit anal retentive? And compulsive?

Beyond my crabby personality, not much is going on. I have been reading a bunch of romances and other garbage. I've been packing. Packing. Oh, and packing. Driving to & from work. Putting out fires at work. Trying not to pick fights, despite the temptations.

I have also reached the depressing conclusion that I need to start walking again. I am starting to get that marshmallow look around the middle, and I despise that look. The only real problem is that it is still cool and damp which HURTS! Having fibromyalgia is a bitch. Mix it up with arthritis and life just aches. It does not help to know that the more yoga, pilates, swimming & walking I do, the better my weight, waist line & pain management will be. It all still hurts and it makes mornings rougher than necessary.

1 of the ironies in my life is that I get up around 4-5 am so that I can be a functioning, mobile, human adult by 9 am. Most people think I am a morning person, when the reality is that I despise, detest, loathe, & revile mornings. I get up that early because it takes at least an hour before I can move without having to use the wall, furniture, whatever is handy, to keep from falling over. And thats just because I am stiff, when it is cold & wet, I CRAMP! Waking up in the middle of the night with charlie horses, or my arm, my feet cramping, or my all time perfect hell, a full body cramp that keeps me from breathing, that is why I hate the cold.

I am ready to go home. Unfortunately, I still have an hour to go. Oh well.

AA Batteries Really Don't Do It

2006-01-23T21:51:00.000-02:00

I had another conversation that I really wish I could have avoided. I now know for a fact that the use of vibrators and dildoes is common here in small town Georgia. I could have cheerfully lived my entire life without knowing that. It is not a shock or surprise, this is a military town after all. 1/2 the married couples I can name off the top of my head are military of 1 form or another. That alone would make toys a common place house hold item.

That is probably stereotyping, but come on, am I wrong?

I am just grateful that we were interrupted because any person willing to say that they not only miss their husband, but the main reason was because the AA's were not cutting it any more,
is probably in the mood to discuss and debate. I am on the clock, and since this is a topic that has blindsided me, I am not sure just what honesty I would have blurted out.

Thankfully, I am on the clock and interruptions happen frequently.

I should have known today was going to be a bad day. I had a spider and a cockroach climb into bed with me last night. The cat was eating the spider when it joined me, so I just shuddered and made the cat take her snack away. The cock roach was a reminder why I should not sleep with the windows open in S. GA. When I woke up this morning, I was proud of myself because I did not throw a screaming fit when I found the gross bug dead & stuck to my thigh.

Damn it, I work hard to keep the place clean. Maybe I should move to S. Dakota or some other chilly place. maybe cockroaches & mosquito's won't be the state birds there. Or am I dreaming? I have never left the east coast line, so I am a bit befuddled by the interior states.

Can I Have A Spork?

2006-01-17T21:57:00.000-02:00

This past Saturday a girl friend & I had 1 of those conversations that no one ever wants to have because there is not a damn thing you can do. One of the individuals she works with came on a LOT strong and nearly did not listen when she said no - repeatedly. Since I know her & her idea of seduction is a candle-lite dinner for 2 at home, NOT a dinner & drinks with 5 other co-workers at TGIFridays, I think this scum sucking bastard needs his heart pulled out with a spork. But that is just me.

Once we got past that point (and boy am I a liar), we talked about how someday she would find Mr. Right for Her. Thanks to Mr. Scum Sucking Bastard, she has a few more trust & intimacy issues, but since I have been there, I have a good idea on how to make her laugh & keep hope.

You see, I have a theory. If you kiss someone and it reminds you of a food, then skip it. NO ONE tastes like chocolate, so if you think "bologne," "garlic," coffee," "pasta," salami," whatever, then obviously they are not the right one for you. It has worked for me. And if you kiss someone, and they taste like them, a mystical sensation that I can not explain, then all is good.

I still want to rip the bastard's throat out, but I can't do anything but growl and make her promise to keep all contact to a minimum and any time they have to be together, let me know so that I can call at pre-determined times. Which reminds me, I need to email her & get that in writing.

A Book Report of Sorts

2006-01-13T17:16:00.000-02:00

Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton. One smart ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report (which I doubt):

Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing.

Some odds & ends

2006-01-12T14:53:00.000-02:00

1st off, can someone explain to me WHY THE HELL it is front page news in USA Today that Angolie Jolie is preggers with Brad Pitt's child? Aren't there more worthy items that should be covered? Like the new plan unveiled last night in New Orleans for redevelopment? Or the man who attempted to assassinate John Paul II has been released from prison & officials are not sure how this happened, seeing as how he was supposed to be serving a LIFE SENTENCE!?!?!?!? Sharon is showing signs of improvement? That surviving miner is coming out of his drug induced coma? Or perhaps that I am looking for a new job? Oh, wait, sorry. That's personal & not worthy of national attention. Kind of like the fact that Jolie is pregnant.

I am a bit disgusted with the news media lately. Some of what has been covered strikes me as rather ridiculous. I will admit I find it funny that 1 of Oprah's book club choices has turned out to be a liar & all of that nonsense, but its not worth all of this attention. He wrote a book, said that it all has happened, but I have yet to hear or read that he ever said it happened to him. So just because Oprah did not do enough research, and he made money off the hype, then no one is at fault. Everyone made money, & the book is apparently well written, so let's go on to something else.

Anyway, I just had the 1 dog fixed & man, was that a painful ordeal. Not only am I not sure I want a dog, but trying to find a vet who would not charge over $200 was next to impossible! 1 actually wanted $400, and that was with a discount from the Save-A-Life organization & only doing the basic rabies shots. If she was in heat or pregnant, then it would be an additional charge on top of that. Since she was, I kept looking around. $140 later, I am the proud owner of a mutt who can never have puppies.

Say some prayers for me because I was 16 (MANY moons ago) when I last had a thing to do with a dog. Walking my sister's or father's dog does not count in my book. And I really have little to no idea what I am doing now. Figure if I treat her like I treat my nephew, we all should be OK. I hope. Maybe. I'm praying.

A Lesson in Manners

2006-01-08T21:14:00.000-02:00

Little Johnny & Bathroom Manners -
He's at it again
Teacher trying to teach good manners, asks the sudents: "Michael, if you were on a date, having supper with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
"Just a minute, I have to go pee."
That would be rude and impolite!
"What about you Peter, how would you say it?"
"I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you Little Johnny, are you able to use your intelligence for once and show us your good manners?"
"I would say: 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after supper."
The teacher fainted!!!!

Rules and Laws

2006-01-05T19:07:00.000-02:00

Don't worry about avoiding temptation – as you grow older, it starts avoiding you.
A column about errors will contain errors. Law of Journalism
A negotiation shall be considered successful if all parties walk away feeling screwed. Law of Negotiation

A show-off is any child who is more talented than yours. Mom's Law

A single fact can spoil a good argument. Weber's Maxim
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. Law of Mechanical Repair
Age is something that doesn't matter unless you are a cheese. Conrad Black's Rule

All inanimate objects can move just enough to get in your way. Young's Law of Inanimate Mobility

Any swing improvement will only last three holes. Schellenberg's Law of Golf

An object will fall so as to do the most damage. Law of Selective Gravity
Those who are the most moral are farthest from the problem.

Hard Time Wrapping My Mind Around This

2006-01-04T16:14:00.000-02:00

Last night, I was reading a Harlequin romance & nearly choked on my tea when I read that the female lead was coughing up $600 for a chihauhau. Now, do not get me wrong. I am perfectly willing to shell out for an animal. What I have a problem with is such large sums for something that might weigh 4 lbs., after a meal & dripping wet.

I admit that part of my problem also stems from 1 of my co-workers who is going to pay a similar amount for a puppy born this past weekend & will maybe weigh 2 lbs. as an adult. I do not understand the mentality, I guess. And I try to maintain objectivity by realizing that there really are not that many people willing to collect books and find my craving for more books to be an odd & dangerous obsession. And that there are people who pay $2,000 grand for the newest computers now, even though they will be out of date once they hit the stores shelves. So a dog is much more practical & a better investment, because they never turn into junk for the trash man to haul off, esp. in that price range.

I still have a hard time paying $600 for a small dog. An European bred rotti or doberman, sure. A horse, definitely. An exotic pet, I would be frightened if there wasn't a huge price tag. But a -5 lbs. dog? I have a rough time wrapping my mind around it, esp. when there are rescue organizations desperate to find homes for pure breds. And if you are not going to show an animal, or breed it, then why not do a good deed when getting a pure breed? But that is just me. Throw in my amazing luck at finding animals desperate for a home, and I have a really hard time justifying paying for an animal.

Beyond that, not much is going on. ;-)

I Have A Headache - again

2005-12-30T14:20:00.000-02:00

It is barely 11:30 am. Today started well. I slept myself out last night, which was great! I had a fair to middling good workout this morning. I laughed at some of what was shown on TV. I had a LONG HOT shower, which I adored. I am wearing my comfortable boots & 1 of my favorite outfits. My radio picked up NPR all the way in to work & there were several neat stories I enjoyed listening to. I was on time to work. The morning opening routine was headache free & went quickly. In fact, we had 20 minutes to kill, which is why I posted the fable. We opened & delivery was here. I got LOTS of new books to read (like I need more). It is quiet today because everyone is some place else & I applaud the public's dedication in not being here today.

But the phone rang & that is when I developed this headache. First off, I had someone ask if we were open when I answered the phone. Next, my problem child called to ask 1 of those "what is she thinking?" questions about whether automatic deposit had already been processed. DUH! After 10 years, they are going to suddenly suspend making automatic payments just because. Right. After that call, I found out through the rumor mill that my supposed assistant has applied for a higher position in-house but has not told me.

While I honestly wish her the best, & indeed sincerely hope that she gets the job because I think she would be good at it, I am upset. Mostly because she is the only person to apply in-house, so the odds of my being called to give an opinion are around 100%. How would it look if I had no warning? Or am I over reacting? I do not know. I do know that I will be honest & up-beat because I think she deserves the chance & will be good at the position. But I am a lot upset & definitely offended that I found out from the rumor mill.

And I have a headache!

A Fable

2005-12-30T12:46:00.000-02:00

A friend emailed this to me today -

King Arthur and the Witch:
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question?.....What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first. The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus: What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened, The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half. Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY?

Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her! own life. Now....what is the moral to this story?

The moral is..... If you don't let a woman have her own way.... Things are going to get ugly

Lunch Break Post

2005-12-28T17:14:00.000-02:00

I am here at work - again. Today I am actually eating something with my SlimFast. An apple!

I am also listening to Black Eyed Peas' Elephunk on the computer. I am going to be doing some research because of the 4-some, the vaguely oriental/native american looking man falls under the "instant lust" category. I also like the music. "Lets get retarded," tends to tickle my funny bone. Though based on the wee bit of searching I just did, the odds of finding the names quickly & easily seems a bit on the thin side. Oh well. Guess I will just have to actually do my job & conduct some research.

I am sooo ready for it to be 6pm. I want to lock the doors and go home and forget all about today. I intend to stop at the bank & then WalMart (mostly so I can pick up yet another book) & then home to crash & crash hard. I am hoping not to get this cold, but I do believe that I am failing miserably.

Who's Ready?

2005-12-27T18:23:00.000-02:00

Everyone have an excellent Christmas? I hope so because this is the 1st for me that I can recall which was actually fun & relaxing & I enjoyed in over 30 years. We did nothing but eat and even then, it was all simple, easy meals that required no real effort or planning. Mom & my sister had everything ready so that while I was there all we had to do was throw it together & eat. The onions were already chopped, the cheese was grated, meat was precooked stuff, life was good. When we were not eating, we were talking, working on puzzles or knitting/crocheting (well, they knitted & crocheted. I did puzzles), watched movies, played with my nephews new toys, and took multiple long naps.

The only down side is that not only am I back at work, but the great cosmic illness joke is still at play. Even though there is no real reason I should get a cold myself, since my nephew & sister both have one, I am waiting. I always get sick during the holiday & since they both used me as a kleenex & frequently coughed right in my face, I am almost guaranteed that this strange itchy feeling with a runny nose is a cold. To add to my personal cold guarantee, I slept with my sister over the weekend. She was trying to hack up her lungs, stomach, & intestines, and she shared her germs liberally, usually right in my face. Believe me, you learn just how close you are to someone when the hack, sneeze, and cough all over you. Especially at 2 a.m. when all you want is to sleep.

So who is ready for 2006? I can claim that I am because I have the 1st of 5 projects here at work completed. 2 of those projects are going to be farmed out anyway, so I am not worried about finishing by the 30th. I see no reason why I should take down the Christmas decorations when there are people who actually enjoy doing that kind of thing. Personally, I have my calendar's all set to go, all my gifts where they need to go, and life is actually pretty good.

Reality is FAR different. It will take forever for me to adjust to 2006 instead of 2005. I have a laundry list of items I need to accomplish over the next 6 months, and I am terrified that I will fail on all fronts.

My resolutions are the following -
1. Get a new job
2. Move
3. Lose 20 lbs. (if it kills me & everyone around me)
4. Get a new car

4 simple resolutions that should be remarkably simple to accomplish. Yet I am already doubting myself and my abilities and most definitely my will power to carry through. Ironically enough, I think I will be able to lose the 20 lbs. now that I have found a decent way to eat that does not leave me hungry. Since my tummy is also loads happier with me and my need for prevacid has dropped from 2 a day to zilch, then I am making the assumption that I am on the right track. I could be wrong, but . . .

Killing a Few Minutes

2005-12-23T15:05:00.000-02:00

I am being hypocritical today. After all the numerous rants about others nagging, harassing, & generally pissing me off about my status as a single, unwed, non-mother, I have been looking at the people who come in & the various couples and judging them as mates.

There are some I look at and think, "They will make good husbands," or "I bet he will be a good dad." Then there are some couples who inspire thoughts of, "I wonder how often he cheats on her?" or, "I would deck anyone who treated me like they treat their spouse." Then there are the girls I look at and think, "God help the future husband, because that is a 40 yr old trapped in a 10 yr old body."

Beyond that, I am playing today. Killing the day surfing the Net & counting down till I can go to my Mom's & begin the holiday food fest.

Only 3 More Days!

2005-12-22T17:39:00.000-02:00

Christmas is almost here & I am incredibly grateful. I will be glad to be able to actually enjoy this Christmas. For what feels like the 1st time ever, I am going no further than my mother's house & have no plans to stay longer then a long weekend. We are not driving to PA, SC, NC, VA, WA, or any where else. We are not going any place beyond the Saturday Children's Mass. We are not baking cookies, nut rolls, rum balls, or planning elaborate meals. We are going simple and I am beyond grateful and well into the "fall to the ground & kiss it from joy" category.

My shopping is done. Here at work, all that is left is the end of the month wrap up that I do every month so that is no biggie. My boss is retiring so I have some new responsibilities and freedoms that I need to become adjusted to but that is actually rather cool. I have a checklist of things that need to be accomplished, which is a dramatic improvement over the past few years. My cards have all been mailed & the ecards are scheduled for tomorrow. My personal baking is almost finished, and I have only 1 more gift to wrap.

Now all I have to do is avoid the pitfalls of having an overly developed sweet tooth and try and keep my weight under control. It is soooo very hard though because we have cookies, candy, cakes, and dips here at work and they are all soooo good! We decided that, instead of exchanging gifts, we would bring in food for everyone all week & it has been a huge relief for all of us. Just bake a cake, make a dip & grab a box of crackers, and we are set. Biggest problem has been remembering to put the dips in the fridge when we leave at night. Since none of us have had to actually buy anything for this food fest, our checkbooks and patience with one another has also been stretched out.

Now all I have left to do is get through the actual holiday & then life can resume a normal keel and I really can not wait. It will be strange writing 2006 instead of 2005, but what the hell. And if I can avoid gaining 50 lbs., I will be truly thrilled. Family arguments are the norm, so I could care less if they happen. Might not enjoy them, but they happen frequently & live still goes on.

The extra poundage is something I am trying to avoid. I have all sorts of exercise DVD's & am trying to walk/sprint 2-4 miles a day, but it is hard with this cold weather. When the temp. goes below 35, I cramp and develop the shakes. I do not tend to shiver. I shake. Ask either of my last 2 lovers & they can tell you the joys of trying to warm me up. I turn blue, shake like a palsy patient, whimper, crack teeth, cramp, and lose what little coordination I have. Since I am already easy to brake, it makes life oh so fun when I get cold and it takes forever to warm up. My last roommate would set up 3 space heaters in the bathroom and turn the hot water on in the shower and then toss me in there, sometimes literally. The water heater would run dry before I would warm up.

It has taken me a while, but I have finally figured out that if I leave my space heater on for at least 2 hours before I shower, exercise and have hot chocolate/tea/coffee, and then take a shower, I stay warm all the way through. Otherwise, I have to shave my legs multiple times because I get chill bumps & I hate that. I also have the thermostat set to 75-85 degrees and then turn it back down as I leave for work. Even doing all that, I still get cold & chilled during my shower.

Different subject, but I read a book that has me boggled this week. Forbidden Magic by Cheyenne McCray is a very well written and generally fun story. What has me boggled is that it is considered a soft romance. Personally, when a book is told from 3.5 character's perspectives, & 1 of the 2 female leads is into bondage, pain, and humiliation, while the other is into light bondage, then I would call it soft porn with a supernatural twist.

I liked the book. I enjoyed the characters and how they progressed both as individuals, but as couples and how the story developed in general. I could have lived without the scenes when the "good" girl used her magic to tie her fae lover to the bed. I definitely could have lived without the description of the "bad" girl being fucked by 2 demons & the descendant/reincarnation of the Celtic God, Balog. But the rest was pretty cool and I hope that McCray develops the story instead of her personality switching sex games.

Two other books I read recently were about those cute, furry critters known as dogs. The 1st is called What the Dog Did, by Emily Yoffe. The other is called Marley & Me, by John Grogan. These are both absolutely hilarious books that I can not recommend highly enough. Grogan had me in tears at the end, but the dog died of old age & that always makes me cry, so no big deal. It was remarkably sweet and I enjoyed the ending. Marley, however, makes me glad that the 3 dogs I currently live with are only mildly psychotic. They have never eaten all the insulation on the fridge. Torn the sheet rock off the walls. Kicked out of basic training classes. Stuff like that.

Yoffe's book dealt with a wider selection of dogs, but sheez! Some of the stories she dug up while researching this book! I have done a lot of disgusting clean ups thanks to the dogs & cats, but I am thrilled to report that I have never had to pull a bra out of my dogs butt. Off their heads, out of the litter box, made them drop whatever article they were currently chewing - yes. But no animal of mine has ever eaten my clothes, or a knife, or grill utensils, or tubing, or keys, or . . .

Get the drift of the type of stories in this book?

I also have finished Mercedes Lackey's Music to My Sorrows. That was standard Lackey and there were all sorts of digs at the government, but I like her stuff so I enjoyed reading it. This was her latest in the modern day bard series and this time they took on a mix of televangelists and ex-government professional paranoids, all of whom were being manipulated by the dark elves.

I read some more anime. Dears was a bit odd, but since I read that right after McCrays, the fact that the female characters, aka Dears, are genetically-altered intergalactic mass produced cloned slaves seemed almost normal.

Access Denied by Donna Andrews was also on this weeks reading list. 3rd in the series about sentinent AI's, it is a fun combination of "what if?" mixed with technology and psychology. Set in today's technological sphere, there is nothing futuristic or paranormal about the characters. It is just that the main character is an AI that started life as a library catalogue. If you like light mysteries with the sort of techno babble that anyone who can program their VCR can understand, then try the series. If you can't program your VCR at the very least, then do not pick it up because there are all sorts of small details that will drive you nuts.

I can't remember what else I have read this week, but I am going to say adios till tomorrow. I have physical therapy in 30 minutes & need to wrap today up here at work.

A Few Moments

2005-12-19T22:23:00.000-02:00

Well, another day at work is almost over & the worst is behind me. All I have to do is kill the next 15 minutes & then I can start shutting down & go home. I can not wait!

You know, getting a teaching job keeps sounding better & better. The pay is better, hours would be better, esp. if I went for school librarian position, and I'd have vacation time. As it is, I have to plan 3 months in advance if I want more than a day off & I hate it.

Anyway, I went with exmi this weekend to see the Narnia movie and I LOVED IT! I enjoyed the graphics, the battle scenes, Edmund was a complete rat, just like I expected, Mr. Tumnus was adorable, Aslan was majestic, and it was generally just cool. I liked the book, lenjoyed the movie which managed to stick to the book fairly well, and intend to add the movie to my DVD collection. And when the next Narnia movie is released, I will go see that as well.

I am just relieved that there are still real movies being made that do not depend on the number of cars being blown up to make their money.

Anyway, off to close down and go home!

It's Another Sunday At Work

2005-12-18T20:12:00.000-02:00

Today has been rather fun, actually. On the drive in, I saw a bird with sadistic/suicidal tendencies. The vulture took off straight at the car in front of me and was on a course were he would have hit the front window if he had not taken a dump and flapped his wings to gain altitude. Bets on which did the most to help him achieve a higher elevation. ;-)

Got here and have had fun watching my counterpart running around, doing all those little chores you can't do when you are surrounded by your normal staff. And she has taught me how to make capital letters using pipe cleaners & a bit of imagination. She is 1 of those people with a real talent for decorating and I envy her that. I am obssessive and a clean freak, but artisctic? Not in this life time.

Outside of being at work, I am officially a convert to the wonders of "Firefly," and am eagerly awaiting the release of Serenity here at work so that I can watch it as often as I please over a 3-week period. Hey, working at a library has some benefits! I will end up buying the silly collection, along with my Christmas classics. Probably just cheat & put them on layaway after Christmas. Cause I want!

My after Christmas want list is sooooo incredibly long right now. Oh well. I need to log off & close up. Later!

I'm Sponge Bob

2005-12-16T14:13:00.000-02:00

Everyone has a personality of a cartoon character.

Have you ever asked yourself what cartoon character do you most resemble? A group of investigators got together and analyzed the personalities of well known and modern cartoon characters. The information that was gathered was made into this test...

Answer all the questions with what describes you best, add up all your Points (which are next to the answer that you choose) at the end and look for your results. Do not cheat by looking at the end of the e-mail before you are done. Then forward this to all your friends (including the person who sent it to you) and change the subject of this message to what character is you.

1. Which one of the following describes the perfect date?.
a) Candlelight dinner (4 pts.).
b) Fun/Theme Park (2 pts.).
c) Painting in the park (5 pts.).
d) Rock concert (1 pt.).
e) Going to the movies (3 pts.)
2. What is your favorite type of music?.
a) Rock and Roll (2 pts.).
b) Alternative (1 pt.).
c) Soft Rock (4 pts.).
d) Country (5 pts.).
e) Pop (3 pts.)
3. What type of movies do you prefer?.
a) Comedy (2 pts.).
b) Horror (1 pt.).
c) Musical (3 pts.).
d) Romance (4 pts.).
e) Documentary (5 pts.)
4. Which one of these occupations would you choose if you only could choose one of these?.
a) Waiter (4 pts.).
b) Professional Sports Player (5 pts.).
c) Teacher (3 pts.).
d) Police (2 pts.).
e) Cashier (1 pt)
5 . What do you do with your spare time?.
a) Exercise (5 pts.).
b) Read (4 pts.).
c) Watch television (2 pts.).
d) Listen to music (1 pt.).
e) Sleep (3 pts.)
6. Which one of the following colors do you like best?.
a) Yellow (1 pt.).
b) White (5 pts.).
c) Sky Blue (3 pts.).
d) Dark Blue (2 pts.).
e) Red (4 pts.)
7. What do you prefer to eat?.
a) Snow (3 pts.).
b) Pizza (2 pts.).
c) Sushi (1 pt.).
d) Pasta (4 pts.).
e) Salad (5 pts.)
8 . What is your favorite holiday?.
a) Halloween (1 pt.).
b) Christmas (3 pts.).
c) New Year (2 pts.).
d) Valentine's Day (4 pts.).
e) Thanksgiving (5 pts.)
9. If you could go to one of these places which one would it be?.
a) Paris (4 pts).
b) Spain (5 pts).
c) Las Vegas (1 pt).
d) Hawaii (4 pts).
e) Hollywood (3 pts)
10. With which of the following would you prefer to spend time with?.
a) Someone Smart (5 pts.).
b) Someone attractive (2 pts.).
c) Someone who likes to Party (1 pt.).
d) Someone who always has fun (3 pts.).
e) Someone very sentimental (4 pts.)

Now add up your points and find out the answer you have been waiting for!
Put your character in the subject line and forward to your friends and back to the person that sent this to you. Very interesting to see "who" your friends are!

(10-16 points) You are Garfield: You are very comfortable, easy going, and you definitely know how to have fun but sometimes you take it to an extreme. You always know what you are doing and you are always in control of your life. Others may not see things as you do, but that doesn't mean that you always have to do what is right. Try to remember, your happy spirit may hurt you or others.
(17-23 points) You are Snoopy: You are fun, you are very cool and popular. You always know what's in and you are never are out of style. You are good at knowing how to satisfy everyone else. You have probably disappeared for a few days more than once but you always come home with the family values that you learned. Being married and having children are important to you, but only after you have had your share of fun times.
(24-28 points) You are Elmo:You have lots of friends and you are also popular, always willing to give advice and help out a person in need. You are very optimistic and you always see the bright side of things. Some good advice: try not to be too much of a dreamer. Dreaming too big could cause many conflicts in your life.
(29-35 points) You are Sponge Bob Square Pants:You are the classic person that everyone loves. You are the best friend that anyone could ever have and never wants to lose. You never cause harm to anyone and they would never not understand your feelings. Life is a journey, it's funny and calm for the most part. Stay away from traitors and jealous people, and you will be stress free.
(36-43 points) You are Charlie Brown:You are tender, you fall in love quickly but you are also very serious about all relationships. You are a family person. You call your mom every Sunday. You have many friends and may occasionally forget a few Birthdays. Don't let your passion confuse you with reality.
(44-50 points) You are Dexter:You are smart and definitely a thinker... Every situation is fronted with a plan. You have a brilliant mind. You demonstrate very strong
family principles. You maintain a stable routine but never ignore a bad situation when it comes. Try to do less over thinking every once in awhile to spice things up a bit with spontaneity!

Now don't spoil it! Have some Fun!! Change the subject of the email towhat you are and send it on!Don't forget to send it back to the one who sent it to you. Have a greatDay !

New Carols

2005-12-13T21:43:00.000-02:00

These are from exmi & I figured that there had to be someone who would get the (BAD) joke.

"Azathoth, Azathoth <http://everything2.net/index.pl?node=azathoth> "
by Bryan M. Ball to the tune of "Jingle Bells" <http://everything2.net/index.pl?node=Jingle%20Bells>
Azathoth, Azathoth, Azathoth, the King, Center of the Universe <http://everything2.net/index.pl?node=Center%20of%20the%20Universe> ,
Insanity he brings, Hey!
Azathoth, Azathoth, Azathoth, the King, Center of the Universe, Insanity he brings.
Writhing round the place
<http://everything2.net/index.pl?node=The%20Crawling%20Chaos> ,
Insane pipers pipe, Takes up lots of space, The stars are getting ripe. <http://everything2.net/index.pl?node=R%27Lyeh>
R'Lyeh soon may rise,
<http://everything2.net/index.pl?node=Nyarlathotep>
Nyarlathotep plots, Earth will be the prize, We'll all lose our spots. Ohhh!
Azathoth, Azathoth, Azathoth, the King, Center of the Universe, Insanity he brings! _____

"The Carol of the Old Ones <http://everything2.net/index.pl?node=Old%20Ones> "
by A.H. Leman to the tune of "Carol of the Bells
<http://everything2.net/index.pl?node=Carol%20of%20the%20Bells>
" Look to the sky way up on high
There in the nigh stars now are right
Eons have passed now then at last
Whence They were penned
They will descend
They will return mankind will learn
New kinds of fear once They are here
As They reclaim all in Their name
Watch only can powerless man
Ignorant fools mankind now rules
Where They ruled then it's Theirs again
Madness will reign terror and pain
Woes without end where They extend
Scary scary scary scary Solstice
Very very very scary Solstice Up from the sea from underground
Down from the sky They're all around They will return mankind will learn New kinds of fear when They are hear They will return (followed by a glorious arrangement of four part harmonies) _____ "
<http://everything2.net/index.pl?node=Great%20Old%20Ones>
Great Old Ones Are Coming to Town" by Sean Branney to the tune of "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town"
You'd better watch out; you better go hide.
<http://everything2.net/index.pl?node=the%20Elder%20Sign>
And Elder Sign's needed for this Yuletide Great Old Ones are comin to town. They're making a fist and shaking it twice. They're going to hit you, naughty or nice. Great Old Ones are coming to town. They're bringing ugly Shoggoths <http://everything2.net/index.pl?node=shoggoth> , And horrid Deep Ones <http://everything2.net/index.pl?node=Deep%20Ones> too, Shub <http://everything2.net/index.pl?node=Shub%20Niggurath> Niggurath is waking up And so is Cthulhu <http://everything2.net/index.pl?node=Cthulhu> So you better watch out, you'd better go 'way, Before the big guy comes up from R'lyeh <http://everything2.net/index.pl?node=R%27lyeh> . Great Old Ones are coming to town. _____

"Hark! the Nameless Cultists Sing" by James Westbrooks to the tune of "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" Hark! the nameless cultists sing, ``Glory to our dreaming King, Deep beneath the ocean waves, dreaming in his wat'ry grave. Soon the stars will all be right, usher in eternal night! When Cthulhu comes to reign, things here 'bouts won't be the same!'' Hark! the namesless cultists sing, ``Glory to our dreaming King!'' Cthulhu whose name strikes fear, speaks to those whose souls can hear: Late at night an artist dreams, wakes up with an awful scream. Then in clay his visions mold, pretty outre so I'm told. Visions of a scene from Hell, near impossible to sell. Hark! the nameless cultists sing, ``Glory to our dreaming King!'' Hark! the Great One's Priestly Son, Hail or you will be undone. Death and pain to most he brings, Ris'n with darkness in His wings. Waked at last no more to lie , proof that death itself may die, Born to crush the human race , wipe them out and leave no trace. Hark! the nameless cultists sing, ``Glory to our dreaming King!''

Playing Today

2005-12-09T14:10:00.000-02:00

I was taking some time to surf the net today & decided to visit some of the blogs I have bookmarked here. Looking at Word Incarnates last 2 postings, all I can say is "OUCH!" Especially since I am 1 who uses this as a way to journal in a stream of conscious. I also vent, review various forms of drivel, and generally lack any purpose beyond letting of steam so that I do not say something I should not.

But do I have any deep, philosophical thoughts? Nope. Do I bring up uncomfortable questions? Not this chicky! What do I blather on about? Dreams, books I have read, and how thong underwear is not that bad. As I sit here, staring at the screen, I am debating if I should be more profound & start posting my views on today's news. My internal wrestling has come to an end. The answer is a resounding "NO!"

I will remark on things like a conversation I just had about the differences between various churches & the stupidity of today's college students, but that is as far in to intellectual posts as I will get. Otherwise, I will stick to drivel, whines, rants, and the routine moans & groans.

As for the conversation I just had, we covered many areas and I was completely out of my depth because I just do not follow politics all that closely. But 1 of the political commentator's had a "contest" with a college girl who was from some mid-eastern school & part of the local college radio show. The girl was asked questions like who is Miers? (no clue) Who is the Vice President? (Al Gore) Can you name 5 senators? (nope) Who is Paris Hiltons sister? (She knew, though I don't) That just disturbs me because I see that sort of narrow knowledge base more & more.

We also discussed how some building are more "holy" than others. I admit to being biased and all that hookum, but some of the most inspiring buildings I have ever been in include Russian Orthodox Catholic churches in particular but catholic old style buildings in general, Buddhist temples, mosques, and Jewish temples.

During this conversation, I also had 1 of those flashes of obvious insight that occasionally occur to me. A comment was made that part of the reason the Catholic church appealed was the "order" and the "traditions," that go along with the "TRADITIONS." The insight was that probably part of the appeal is that we are both obsessive compulsive personalities & live for order & traditions. I am probably going to kill some time today looking to see if anyone has ever done personality work-ups of the great religious leaders who led revolts against the Catholic Church (Lutherans, Mennonites, etc.) Wonder how many were extroverts who rebelled against authority?

Weird Dream

2005-12-08T18:13:00.000-02:00

I can tell that I am stressed & about to completely lose my temper soon. I have started having horrible intense dreams. I can not relay what the specifics of the conversation were in this dream, but I can tell you what the cast wore & other details.

Last night I dreamt that I was at a seminar & we were sitting at those horribly uncomfortable plastic desk chairs. On the left side of me was a girl friend who had also been drafted to go to this seminar. (She was wearing a Burgundy flowered skirt, black v-neck sweater & sling back heels.)
In front of me was a cute married guy with slightly buck teeth who was a lot of fun & kept writing notes for us to read over his shoulder about the seminar leader. Behind me was a REALLY attractive guy in khaki slacks & green sweater, with green eyes who was flirting outrageously. On my right side (& this is what is truly weird) was sitting an ex-lover of mine in light khaki's & a white button down shirt.

In the dream, & I honestly can't recall the specifics, we were being the obnoxious crew in the back of the room. And somehow we got on to my single status & I made some sort of snarky comment that my ex could not have avoided hearing unless he had suddenly gone deaf. That is when he turned around & made the only comment I can recall with any clarity, and it was something about how he is not my ex.

It was about that point that 1 of the cats announced in his tried & true method of scratching his claws down the window to tell me that he wanted out. So I got up to follow his orders & went back to a dreamless sleep.

Be Careful What You Wish For

2005-12-08T17:27:00.000-02:00

I have relearned a horrible truth. I should have kept my mouth shut because my life has become amazingly busy & none of it is fun.

My current supervisor is going to retire this Dec. The 31st is his last day. I am thrilled for him & all that hoopla. The problems lie in how it will be April before his replacement starts. So between now & then, his supervisor will be here and she is not my favorite personality type. My least favorite personality type is actually one of my employees. She is the passive aggressive/oblivious type with a dash of smug self righteousness thrown in to just grate. Since she also stinks of mothballs, I have a hard time dealing with her. Throw in the fact that my retiring supervisor has let her continue all of her bad behavior with nothing but occasional verbal warnings & "reviews" of her evaluations, and she has had no reason to change. So now that he is leaving, I now have to joy of dealing with her without any buffers. Since I also now have the authority to say "NO!" to her, there is going to be hell until all the little quirks are shifted out & I am sooo not looking forward to being the one to point out that, no, she can not rearrange the schedule just so that she can go see her daughter play soccer. Since I am understaffed even when everyone is healthy & there are no problems any more, this is going to be a big issue soon.

But my retiring bosses supervisor is the annoying type. I will be among the 1st to say that she is highly intelligent and has made several major improvements to the system and has made life vastly easier with her mania for rules and methods. However, she can not carry a thought to its conclusion to save her life. She has managed to tick off almost everyone I have dealt with within this organization. She has those annoying speech habits that are enough to have me screaming. If I hear, "the scoop is . . ." one more time, I will present her with a freaking ice cream scoop and say something snarky out of sheer rebellion.

My peer within the county & I had a meeting with her to discuss the changes that will take place in January, and she "closed" the meeting with a statement that bewildered & infuriated. Seems that she is grooming various individuals within the system to become leaders and she hopes to include us (though I think she really meant my peer & not me). She feels that leaders tend to be more people oriented and able to lead others to become even more outstanding than they already are. But as managers, all we do is take care of the building and let our supervisors and leaders handle the people.

She then continued to tell me that I was too negative - which I am but that is a matter of growing up in a catholic Italian household & serious trust issues - and that as a "devil's advocate" I needed to become more positive and stop questioning.

Can anyone guess why I am bewildered & infuriated? Especially since, up until now, I have not even spent 8 hours in contact of any sort with this woman over a 2 year period?

What makes these comments bearable is that my retiring boss (waah!) & several others have all pointed out that I do tend to have rather intelligent questions that require an acknowledgement that I do now how to think. Even worse, she has to acknowledge that I am as well educated as she is. Since that is not acceptable to her as an ALA accredited supervisor, then I am (obviously) a pesky thorn in her side. To compound my flaws, I am not a bubbly personality & lean more towards suspicious, anti-social, & generally ready to be stabbed in the back.

I am sure that this will all work out, but it is going to be a miserable few months until our replacement coordinator arrives.

This Bothers Me

2005-11-22T17:36:00.000-02:00

Can anyone figure out why this forwarded email bothers me?

The lady that wrote this letter is Pam Foster of Pamela Foster and Associates in Atlanta. She's been in business since 1980 doing interior design and home planning. She recently wrote a letter to a family member serving in Iraq in response to their questioning ofAmerican coverage of the war. Read it!
WHAT'S ALL THE FUSS?
"Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11,2001? Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan, across the Potomac from our nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania? Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they? And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was "desecrated" when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet? Well, I don't. I don't care at all. I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11. I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime inSaudi Arabia. I'll care when Abu Musab al-Zarqawi tells the world he is sorry for hacking off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling, slashed throat. I'll care when the cowardly so-called "insurgents" in Iraq come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques. I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs. I'll care when the American media stops pretending that their First Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of the United States Constitution's Bill ofRights. In the mean time, when I hear a story about a brave Marine roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I DON"T CARE! When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who have been humiliated in what amounts to a college hazing incident, rest assured that I don't care. When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank that I don't care. When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed "special" food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being "mishandled," you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts that I don't care. And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled "Koran" and other times "Quran." Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and --you guessed it. If you agree with this view point, pass this on to all your e-mail friends. Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behavior! If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you choose the latter, then please don't complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great country.

For those who can't guess, it does not matter that I do agree with a lot of the opinions expressed, especially those about the media. However, I despise people who try & guilt others into doing something. I do not care if it is patriotism or family solidarity. it still makes the author an insecure bully & that always gets my hackles up.

I Finally Get It

2005-11-22T16:13:00.000-02:00

Yesterday, I did something truly un-amazing. I got lost on my way to work. How? Simple really, While there are multiple routes to get from home to work, I rarely (as in never) take them because they not only take too long but THERE IS NOTHING THERE! Houses are a treat and street lights are nonexistent type nothing. Mile after mile of pine trees. Since I already see mile after mile of pine tree on my current drive, I have no desire to explore country back roads that are even further out of the way than the ones I already know.

However, the GA-DOT decided to screw with my world a bit and actually pay attention to my griping. Well, maybe not mine, but there is a long stretch where there are more pot holes than actual road. So the road is closed indefinitely until it is fixed. I, being a bit of zombie when I drive, had seen the signs but just never went much past the thought that I really needed to remember that. So when they actually did close the road, I was completely unprepared.

So, since I had no idea where I was at but could not go forward the way I usually went, I got lost. I just loved every minute of being out in the middle of nowhere with only the comforting thought that I knew 1 of the highways I did know would eventually show up. Fortunately, I did luck onto a road I recognized & I was only 1/2 an hour late. Pause while I thank the Lord there were no cops because I was flying.

While I was flying down the road, I realized something rather disturbing. I finally figured out why my sister likes country music. Let me say that I am fond of just about all types of music, but opera, rap, western, country-western, & country are my least favorite genres. Pretty much in that order, as well. I am fond of just about all types of music. In my personal collection I have everything from Lords of Acid to ancient Japanese flute CD's. It is singing that I have a tough time sitting through. Most singers really just can't & it hurts, physically hurts.

But yesterday, while driving in a desperate attempt to find a road I recognized, I was listening to 106.9 the Gator & was impressed by what they played. It is a local country station & the 2 songs that distracted me & kept me listening involved rather sad themes. The 1st was by a woman & she was signing about how "she" had never walked on the moon, sung before a sold out crowd in NY, etc., but she was still someone's hero. She was "the keeper of the Cheerios," the one who with a smile let you know you mattered, and basically I turned into a watering pot about the point with the line about keeper of the Cheerios. I was then just bawling when the next song started. Once again, I have no clue who was singing, but this 1 was about a girl who was scared too death as she sat in the waiting room and as the dr. told her something was wrong between her white cells & red cells. And at the end of the song, her 1st love had just arrived to take her to the prom, and when he took off his cap, he was as bald as she was. I lost it, I admit it; though part of that was because I finally figured out just where I was.

I am such a sap.

It's Monday

2005-11-21T15:42:00.000-02:00

I have found at the ever wonderful Wal-mart a wonderful way to annoy people. I found the Christmas bell jewelry. At $1 a piece, not to bad, & when it goes on sale I am REALLY going to stock up on the stuff. Right now I am wearing the bell bracelet on the same wrist as my metal watch so every key stroke, every step, every time I pick something up, the bells jingle. It is so freaking annoyingly cheerful & holiday themed that no one can really complain. I am loving it! It helps that I honestly love bells and would cheerfully wear bells dripping from my toes like they do in that old nursery rhyme from Mother Goose -

Ride a cock-horse to Banbury Cross,
To see a fine lady upon a white horse;
rings on her fingers and bells on her toes,
and she shall have music wherever she goes.

There is something about that nursery rhyme & the standard drawings that accompany it that I just like. Since I am the type who has bells and chimes hanging throughout every room in the house, on nearly every door, then wearing them is a shift in weight, forget small step.

This morning, while puttering, I reached a conclusion the exmi in particular will appreciate. I decided that I would stop decorating the bathrooms in frogs. You will have to ask him what his issues are about my froggy bathrooms, but as I looked around I decided that I preferred the chimes, bells & cats. The frogs are going to have to go. I like the little happy green frogs myself, or the funny ones with crowns, but there is only so much you can do with frogs. While I like the cheerful green, I vastly prefer the sound of the chimes and bells when I turn on the fans, open doors, or the cats walk through them. Frogs just aren't that soothing.

Thursday's Thoughts

2005-11-17T16:18:00.000-02:00

It is Thursday and the worst is over for another week. Story time is over so all the little spawn have left, the building is picked up and all the toys put back, and it is QUIET! It helps that I have finished all of my chores and can play for the rest of the day.

I am returning to a well-nigh permanent rant for a bit, so please excuse the repetition. I have just been informed – AGAIN! – that as a single female I am not doing God’s Will. Seems that it is in the Bible that women are to be married and producing children while listening to their men folk about what is best for them.

Does "what a load of shit" mean anything to anyone? I get so freaking tired of this crap & it grates because I seem to have this mystical sign floating above my head that says, ”She Cares!” and “She needs to hear this!” Now, since I do not care & really do not want to hear anyone’s life story, I find this rather trying & my nerves do not stand the stress well. I am already fairly high strung, but this pushes every last nerve I have. Just because I say hello and have a smile on my face, oh, & actually look at people, does not mean I give a rat’s ass.

OK, that’s done. Thank you for bearing with me.

Change of subject now, but I just got in yesterday’s mail a wonderful surprise from a friend of mine. She sent me the “Firefly” series, along with a wonderful vanilla-scented candle, stickers, stationary, and an absolutely adorable note pad that I will probably take the cover & frame because I like it so much, and some odds & ends for my cats. Opening that box just brightened my day immeasurably.

Then, to help her gift counteract the evil miasma created by the hounding I have been receiving lately, 2 other friends sent me pictures! Yippie! 1 set was of a friend & her 4 month old adorable daughter. Those were fantastic!

The other set was an online album that another friend took while she was doing her missionary work in the Ukraine. Those pictures were enough to make me grateful for modern kitchens. Anytime I do not have to use a make to start the fire so that I can make breakfast, I am going to say a small prayer of thanksgiving. Every kitchen picture in that album has an oven that requires wood or coal. Yes, I could fumble my way through the experience, but give me modern appliances any day of the week.

Then, 1 of my staunch supporters here at work sent me this joke.

Subject: 1st GRADE!! 3rd grade test A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!" Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Harry: "9." Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Harry: "36." And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade." Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Harry both agreed. Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?" Harry, after a moment: "Legs." Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" The principal wondered why she would ask such a question! Harry replied: "Pockets." Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Harry: "Pants." Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious, and contains thin, whitish liquid?" Harry: "Coconut." The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open. Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum." Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" Harry: "Shake hands." The principal was trembling. Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?" Harry: "Fire truck." The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...... "

Changing subjects again, but this is a bit of personal trivia that is bugging me. Due to a death, I contacted my ex-fiancé via his grandfather so that he would know and could send his condolences. I figured it was the right thing to do because the person who had just died mattered in his personal world. Mattered in mine as well, but I could not get off work to attend the funeral so all I can do is send a card & flowers. But anyway, the point is that instead of hearing back from the ex, I got an email telling me how he & his wife had separated and he had disappeared.

This blew me away completely because his mother is the sun his world revolves around, with his father & grandfather being the moons. They were incredibly close and, when I knew them well, they adored one another. So now my curiosity streak is itching madly because I want to know what happened to change the situation. I will be the 1st to agree that he is/was an arrogant, pompous, chauvinistic, control freak, but those adjectives can easily apply to me as well, though I hope no one has ever thought of me as chauvinistic. But I did live with him for more years than I care to recall & he was exactly what I needed when we met. So I guess I still care about how he is doing. Not enough to go track him down or anything insane like that, but I want to know that he is at least content.
From the letters he sent up till his marriage, I think he was desperately unhappy, but when he met his now ex-wife, he was happy again & it was SUCH a relief. I had been feeling guilty because I had broken up with him & since we had been in the middle of wedding plans, I know it was a definite shock. He actually joined the military once he finally accepted my decision, though in his letters he made it clear he did it partially because he could not find a job, partially to help keep his mind occupied, and partially to become more of the man he thought I wanted & needed.

Does guilt trip sound about right to anyone else? Thank God I have the circle of friends I do because it almost worked.

But, he met someone & amazingly enough my life became vastly easier, though the letter that came with his wedding invitation was rather odd. I hope to NEVER get a letter like that again. She informed me that she appreciated all the experiences the 2 of us had together because it helped make him the man she fell in love with, and how she hoped that we could become friends because I obviously meant so much to him & she just knew we were destined to be friends.

I had visions of arsenic in my dinner. I sent a gift along with my decision not to attend.
Seemed the smart thing to do.

Subject change –

I realized this morning when I stepped outside & it had gone from the mid-80’s to lower 50’s that I need different shoes. I did a mental tally of what I own shoe wise & realized that I have my heels that go with various formal wear, I have sandals ranging from plastic flip flops to the Dr. Scholl’s slip-ons, tennis shoes not fit for public viewing (which is why I wear them only at 6 am to take the dogs walking) & a pair of knee high moccasins. That is it. I have nothing remotely resembling casual work shoes that I can wear with skirts or slacks when it gets chilly.

This is terrifying because it means I have to brave shoe departments. I wear a 6 ½ with an extremely high arch, which means that I need shoes with laces or low in front so that I can get them on. Wearing a 6 ½ shoe means I have to go questing because that is not a common size. To further complicate matters, the only time I wear brown is if it is a leather bomber jacket. Otherwise, I have NOTHING brown, unless you count greenish khaki slacks as brown. So that cuts ½ the remaining selection down. And then there is the comfort aspect which means anything remotely attractive has to be tried on because there is a fairly strong chance they will not fit, even if they do match all the necessary superficial criteria.

I can find an entire outfit from the skin out, including purse & jewelry, faster than I can find 1 pair of shoes. This is terrifying.

I also need my hair trimmed, which is just annoying.

Ooops. Just checked my work email & had a nasty gram. Nothing like petty annoyances to make life just grand and show what people are really like. But I have checked out several cookbooks & have left them with various friends. Problem is that they are past due & I can’t renew them because there are holds. Normally not a big deal, except that the next person waiting for these cookbooks is my uber boss & she is a general pain. Not a bad person, but generally the sort I would rather go to the dentist for a root canal than sit through another meeting she chairs. Oh well. Guess I get to be demanding & gather up books this weekend.

I just found this at cnn.com –
'Literary' texts no more?
Project reduces classic works to text messages
Thursday, November 17, 2005; Posted: 2:32 p.m. EST (19:32 GMT)
Bottom of Form
LONDON, England (AP) -- "Romeo, Romeo -- wher4 Rt thou Romeo?"
It could be the future of Shakespeare.
Dot mobile, a British mobile phone service aimed at students, says it plans to condense classic works of literature into SMS text messages. The company claims the service will be a valuable resource for studying for exams.
Academic purists will be horrified. Hamlet's famous query, "To be or not to be, that is the question," becomes "2b? Nt2b? ???"
John Milton's epic poem "Paradise Lost" begins "devl kikd outa hevn coz jelus of jesus&strts war." ("The devil is kicked out of heaven because he is jealous of Jesus and starts a war.")
Some may dismiss the summaries as cheat notes for the attention-deficit generation, but John Sutherland, a University College London English professor who consulted on the project, said they could act as a useful memory aid.
"The educational opportunities it offers are immense," said Sutherland, who chaired the judging panel for this year's Booker Prize for fiction.
Sutherland said the compressed nature of text messages allowed them to "fillet out the important elements in a plot."
"Take for example the ending to Jane Eyre -- 'MadwyfSetsFyr2Haus.' (Mad wife sets fire to house.) Was ever a climax better compressed?"
But political commentator and author Oliver Kamm said the terse texts were "more than a travesty."
"What you lose with text messaging in literature is what makes literature what it is -- the imagery, the irony, the nuance," he told British Broadcasting Corp. radio.
"What I fear will happen with text versions of Shakespeare is that students will be encouraged not to read the books but to settle for something else, and people don't need excuses not to read books. They don't read enough as it is."
Books planned for the service include Charles Dickens' "Bleak House," whose tale of the interminable legal suit of Jarndyce and Jarndyce is reduced to a few snappy lines, and Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice," which describes hunky Mr. Darcy as "fit&loadd" (handsome and wealthy).
Dot mobile said it planned to launch the service in January, with Shakespeare's complete works available by April. The texts will be free to subscribers to the company's phone service.
Copyright 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

Talk about a farce!

Normalcy

2005-11-14T19:37:00.000-02:00

What is normalcy? Can anyone tell me? And if my life is normal, than someone please shoot me now and end my misery.

Beyond that particularly random thought, I can't say that much else is happening. Thanks to my oh so generous nephew, I have managed to wade through a 2 week bought with a head cold. Decided that Fisherman's Friends cough drops are the best, but they are damned difficult to actually find. NyQuil is a great invention and its inventor should be cannonized for sainthood. Puffs are better than Kleenex. Stuff like that.

I have read several books but most fall under "Santa Paws Come Home!" or ""barbie and the Magical Pegasus" category. I did read the latest by Alan Dean Foster, "Running From the deity." I love the Flinx series by him and can recommend Foster without any compunction. I liked this latest installment and really want the next in the series. I also finished some romances, but unless someone really wants to know about Feehan, Wilkes, Philips, or Roberts, I won't bore my few readers with commentaries.

I watched several movies and liked most of them. "DNAngel" needs help, but I will watch the next 2 DVD's of the series because I can. "Kyo Kara Maoh!; God (?) Save the King!" was absolutely hilarious and I am going to move up my personal time line to enroll with Netflix so that I can watch the entire series. I watched "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and intend to buy the movie because I enjoyed it that much. I especially appreciated how it remained true to the book, which always impresses me. I also re-watched "Herbe the Love Bug; Fully Loaded" a few times too many. Much as I enjoy that movie, my nephew REALLY likes the movie faaar too much.

Different topic, but can anyone tell me ways to lose belly flab? I walk/jog a minimum of 5 miles a day now, I do various sit ups, there is yoga in my daily routine, pilates 3 times a week, push ups, walking with hand weights, lifting 50 lbs. boxes every day, yet I can't lose my tummy flab. It is getting down right annoying & I am open to any options.

This bit is based on an ongoing conversation that I hear all the fucking time here at work. So yes, I am going to rant and rant viciously. But what the hell is it with people that a woman is considered either incomplete and/or gay if she is not married &/or has children? Why is it so necessary to other people that I either pop out some kids or get married? I do not want kids, all right? They are cute, wonderful individuals, but I do not want to carry a bowling ball for 9 months & then end the misery with several hours of intense labor with multiple witnesses to my humiliated. I know it is supposed to me a mystical experience and all that, but fuck that shit. And marriage? OK, IF I were to meet someone I was willing to go to bed with for more than an hour or 2, and found them to be fun to hang around with, and they had similar interests, and they smelled right, and they liked my friends and family, and they liked similar movies and books, and they balanced me mentally and emotionally, and they liked animals, and they could cope with my family and obsessive compulsive personality, and I actually wanted to see them naked more than once, and I was willing to be naked in front of them at all, then maybe I might think about dating. Since I can't even make myself trust enough to go out for a night of mindless fucking any more, I think the odds are fairly low that I will ever really date let alone get married.

And what really gets me, and is 50% of the reason I will dig my heels in & probably never marry, is that I hate how so many people feel that marriage is the only way to go. If you are not married, then how can you have a life? How can you cope? Why would you want to even live?
IT DRIVES ME NUTS! Why should I marry at all? Even if I ever find someone I am willing to have sex with again (HAH!) marriage is financially not worth doing. And since I have seen only a limited number of worth while marriages, let alone relationships, I can't understand why it is a goal for so many people who only know me as the "Library Lady" that they must get me knocked up and/or married.

And yes, this is an issue with me. I find it offensive when people walk in & skip the social pleasantries & jump straight into a conversation about my non-existent sex life. It is non-existent by choice. I am still childless by choice. I have no desire to change this state of affairs. Why this offends so many is becoming a major point of grumpiness with me and when I get grumpy, I start getting distinctly mulish. Ornery. Hard headed. Stubborn. Pig-headed. Obnoxious. All are good ways to describe my attitude when I get pissed off because of someone trying to foist their attitudes on to my life.

I am done ranting now. Ignore the overblown hysterics. Thanks for reading.

I have too many ear worms running through my head to ever keep a straight face. EX: Any time someone asks, "who you going to call?" All I can think is "GhostBusters!" Or if someone says "My boyfriend is back," all I can think of is that old 50's song. Today I have had the Monty Python "Spam" theme music running through my head, but "germs" is substituted for "spam." Highly annoying.

100 Worst children's Books

2005-11-10T15:39:00.000-02:00

A bit raunchy, so consider yorself warned.

"Ah, children. The opiate of the masses..."
~ Oscar Wilde
According to God's True Word, the following are the worst 100* Childrens Books ever made. Readers are required to have their sporks to hand.
100. Curious George and the High Voltage Fence
(USA, 1988) The world's favorite inquisitive monkey learns "don't whizz on the electric fence".
99. Paddington Gets Rabies
(UK, 1989) Fun and frolics as Mr Brown takes out Paddington "Atticus Finch" style.
98. Dr Seuss's Malpractice ABC
(USA, 1968) A is for Accidental Amputation.

The follow-up to Little Miss Sociopath
97. Little Miss Psycho
(UK, 1999) A guide for every little girl on how to handle modern relationships.
96. Baldylocks and the Three Hairs
(Canada, 1989) Written at the height of the PC movement, Baldylocks is the heartwarming tale of a follically challenged Accountant from Winnipeg.
95. What's Daddy Doing?
(USA, 1993) Sex Education book aimed at the under 10s. Contains graphic content.
94. The Illustrated Fishmonger
(UK, 2002) Uncle Bob smells of fish, in colour and Scratch'n'Sniff.
93. The Little Train Who Couldn't
(USA, 1973) Abject failure and how to deal with it.
92. Bumper Book of Fun
(China, 1982) How much fun could colouring in Clowns and Space Monkeys be? World Record Holder for worst dot-to-dot puzzle known to man.

91. Hey Presto! You're A Corporate Whore!
(USA, 2004) Aims to teach kids how to embrace consumerism in a label-driven world.
90. Horton Hires a Ho
(USA, 1978) Sequel to "Horton Hears a Who", it failed miserably upon first release, but gained cult popularity in the early 1990s.
89. White is Right
(South Africa, 1982) A guide to Apartheid for the very young.
88. Garry the Garbage Truck
(UK, 2001) A failed effort to cash in on the popularity of "Thomas the Tank Engine".
87. Jerry Gerbil and the Pink Cave
(USA, 1996) by Richard Gere.
86. Little Chew Chew
(USA, 2000) by Mike Tyson.
85. When the Lights Go Out
(USA, 2004) A adaptation of the Paris Hilton video for children.
84. Willy Wonka and the Fudge Tunnel
(UK, 1983) A painful chapter in the Willy Wonka saga.
83. Old MacDonald had a Million Cows
(USA, 1966) Introduction to large scale intensive farming techniques for the under fives.
82. Tom Swift and The Atomic Dildo
(USA, 1958)

Clifford takes the Last Ride
81. Clifford Goes to Sleep
(USA, 2003) The final chapter in the tale of Clifford the Big Red Dog.
80. Wiffles the Dog's Dick
(USA, 1994) Book by William Shatner made into an animated classic A Dog's Dick, this is the tale of a Pet Detective, created by the WangaFilms Studio.
79. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
(Namibia, 1972) Join Charles Manson and his family on a hilarious romp through a magical chocolate factory as dead and dying Oompah Loompahs pile up like cordwood!
78 The Hardy Boys and the Mystery of the Leather Bar
(USA, 1978) teenaged amateur sleuths Frank and Joe Hardy travel to New York's famous Greenwich Village
77. The Little Red Light District
(USA, 1961)
76. The Cat in the Hat Got Back
(USA, 1978) Cashing in on the blaxploitation craze, Dr. Seuss pens the tale of one hot pussy!
75. Aleister Crowley's Little Book of Bible Verse
(UK, 1920) This book contains Satanic messages when read backwards. And forwards, for that matter.
74. Darwin says your ancestors were monkey-fuckers
(USA, 2003) Required educational reading in many US states, this Intelligent Design promotional publication explains that under Darwin's theory your ancestors had to fuck monkeys while they waited for human women to evolve - needless to say God doesn't like that idea very much.
73. Clifford the Big Dead Dog
(USA, 2004) Unable to give up the franchise, the publishers drag old Clifford out once more.
72. Programming Perl for Pre-Schoolers
(USA, 2005) Getting our generation of script-kiddies better trained than their script kiddies - to prepare for the oncoming future cyber-apolcalypse. Plus kids love the cute camel!
71. Clifford and the Corpse Bride
(USA, 2005) Book of the Film. Clifford gets the Tim Burton treatment. With Helen Bonham-Carter and Johnny Depp. Again.
70. Barney and the Big Purple Asteroid
(USA, 2001) "Oh no," says Barney, "my watch says it's almost the Eocene." Hilarity ensues as Barney discovers ELE ISN'T a girl's name.

Pooh the Bear played by Charles Manson in the film Spetters
70,5. Pooh the Bear
(UK, 1998) Daddy leaves Mom and lives with his new friend Pooh, a hairy Bear, with hairy chest, hairy arms and sexy hairy legs. The novel on which the film Spetters is based.
69. Little Miss PMT
(UK, 2001) Little Miss Psycho is back, and this time she's pissed.
68. What Katy Did
(USA, 1945) Find out exactly why Auntie Katherine needed that frontal lobotomy.
67. Clifford and the Army of Darkness
(USA, 2005) The Clifford franchise is picked up by Sam Raimi. Hilarity ensues. Featuring Bruce Campbell.
66. Modern Nursery Rhymes
(UK, 1987) "Mary had a BMX, she rode it back to FRONT, everytime the peddles turned, the seat went up her.....dress", and many more.
65. The Cat In The Fat
(No. Korea, 2003) Dr. Suess' beloved creation goes for a Wok when he meets hungry North Korean villagers!
64. Hansel, Gretel and Me -- Confessions of Betrayal
(USA, 2003) Alton Brown explains his rare experiments on young human subjects.
63. Ten Fun Activities With Fire
(USA, 1956) Discover new ways to spice up playtime with the lovable mascot "Sparky."
62. Vomit, The Talking Head Louse
(USA, 1904) The adventures of Vomit The Head Louse and his pal Ernie The Brain Burrowing Tick.
61. The O'Reilly Factor for Kids - A Survival Guide for America's Families
(USA, 2005). The fourth chapter is entitled How to Eat Your Mom and Dad's Corpses if the Car Crashes in the Mountains
60. Playground Bullying - Top Advice from the Experts
(USA, 2004) Experts in playground bullying give their top tips and advice - chapters include "How to hold down a weak kid and knee him in the nuts" , "Public Humiliation Masterclass" and "Top Ten Tips for How to Make Girls Cry"
59. Close Encounters of the Third Grade
(USA, 1978) Hitler has come back as a kid, and he's pissed.
58. The Last Temptation of Harry Potter
(UK, 2006) It's the last day before Harry's crucifixion, and Draco has an indecent proposal for him.
57. The Satanic Preschool
(US, 1969) Bestselling author Anton LaVey explains how teachers can help children explore their true nature while they're young enough to challenge Christian hypocracy.
56. Character is Cool - Taking Responsibility
(USA, 2002) Helping kids take responsibity for their actions. Includes chapters entitled Divorce: Yes it's your fault that Daddy doesn't love Mommy anymore, Rain: Why did you make the angels cry?, and Death: Grandma died of a broken heart because you never wrote to her.
55. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
(USA, 2000) Just what are we going to do on this rainy day?
54. Mein Kampf für die Kinder
(Germany, 1929) Hitler's attempt to follow up his über successful first work with a book for the youth.
53. Humpty Dumpty - What Happened Next
(Uzbekestan, 1921) Three operations later, Humpty Dumpty sets out for revenge against the people who pushed him, with hilarious consequences.
52. Uncyclopedofile
(Euthanasia, 2005) Handy "filofax" style set "filled" with "useful" information from the Uncyclopedia archives. Also contains calculator and handy pencil.
51. The Boy Scout Cook Book
(New York, 1984) Editors were horrified to discover that Albert Fish's book was less about teaching boy scouts to cook, and more about cooking boy scouts.
50. Weekend At Barney's
(USA, 2003) The dinosaurs may be extinct, but Barney is still the life of the party. Limited edition contains prelude by Michael Jackson.
49. Gonzo The Bear, Adventures In LSD
(USA, 1975) By Hunter S. Thompson
48. It's a School Shooting, Charlie Brown
(USA, 1980) In this fascinating volume of previously unpublished Peanuts strips, Charlie Brown and Linus wreak bloody vengeance upon their tormentors.
47. Bible for kids - God Smites the Wicked
(USA, 1930) A playful collection of short stories.
46. Why You're So Poor
(USA, 1978) Ayn Rand explains why your parents are lazy, good-for-nothing socialists.
45. The Prettiest Princess
(USA, 2005) Story of how an ugly 6 year old girl becomes a beautiful princess through the wonders of plastic surgery. Contains photographs from accompanying TV series.
44. Puff the Magic Dragon Goes to School
(USA, 1973) A whimsical tale about a young boy taking his magic dragon Puff to school, hiding him from all the teachers, and sharing his magic smoke with all the boys and girls. A children's classic - High Times.
43. The Origin of the Species
(UK, 1859) Charles Darwin, the worst children's book writer of all time, writes this tedious tale as a follow up to his less well known book The Stork: The Origin of the Babies.
42. Flash MX Bible
(US, 2004) Animated vector-based e-book featuring smiting and begetting on a biblical scale. Available through eBay.com.
41. 100 Fun Things to do with your Poo
(CA, 2007) While the original was a classic, this modern readaptation falls short.
40. Pippi Longstockings
(SW, 1969) Tommy and Annika have adventures with the transvestite next door. By Dolph Lundgren.
39. Here comes Pimpy
(UK, 1974) There's a new dude in Toytown, and he's pimpin' everyone's Ho's. Hilarity ensues.
38. The Railway Children
(UK, 1969) An explanatory tale of children who played on railways. With coloured illustrations.
37. Little Miss Bulldog With Lipstick
(UK, 2002) Little Miss PMT is back, but this time the vending machine is out of chocolate.
36. Biggles Flies Undone
(UK, 1948) The squadron leader teaches Algy to make a gentle touchdown, with serious consequences.
35. Five Children and It
(UK, 1902) An adventurous teacher blindfolds five children, who have to guess what "It" is by touch, smell, and taste alone.
34. Bad Dog, Carl
(US, 2005) Carl finally has enough of the little rugrats, and decides to make a meal of them. Contains great selection of pictures of dismembered children!
33. Harry Potter and the Ring of Fire
(UK, 2005) Harry and Ron suffer tremendous agonies as they tangle with a mutton vindaloo and a chicken phal prepared by Voldemort and his evil accomplice Lord Latif of Harpole.
32. Jamie's Children Kitchen
(UK, 2006) Jamie Oliver offers lots of recipes to the smallest. Surprise your parents with easy to cook plasticine cakes or a tasty soup of your selfcollected mushrooms. As seen on channel four.
31. Little Brother Nr 1
(Cambodia, 1976) Pol Pot helps children to convince their parents to move to more rural areas.
30. Hiding Nemo
(CA, 2004) 100 tips when you played too long with your pet.
29. Harry Potter and the Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome
(UK, 2006) Ron and Hermione have to hide the knives when Harry, finally realising that he's been abused his entire life and goes into battle more frequently than most teenagers, starts acting a little funny....
28. A Lice in Wonderland
(Deutschland, 1948) An echanting tale of a lice's search for a suitable host.
27. Huckle Berry Pimp
(USA, 1999) Huck goes on a journey to get some bitches and hoes.
26. The Alternative Magic School Buss in the Age of Xenu
(USA 2003) A new series explores alternative science, instead of the one-sided presentation of theories in earlier books. Here, Ms. Frizzle and her class travel back to 75 billion years to witness him action. Has outperformed the similar, earlier work "Fountainhead Earth 4 Kidz".
25. Jimmy Crow and the Heroes of Civilization
(CSA, 1952) Uh-oh! Some niggers start getting uppity and even downright fresh. Will anyone be able to protect the purity of white women from these subhuman monsters?
24. The Adventures of Boxcar Bert
(USA, 1938) Join Boxcar Bert and his talking pole-sack Jehosephat in his hobo adventures. Experience the glory days of the swag man as he rides the rails, eats canned beans, violates young women and gets arrested for drunkenness and vagrancy. Followed up by the sequel, The Wild World of Amateur Boxing with Boxcar Bert.
23. Karl and Vladimir's World Tour
(USSR, 1921) Marx and Uliyanoff (also known as Lenin travel around the world convincing all forward-thinking peoples of the inevitability of Socialist Utopia, accompanied by their talking cat, Chairman Meow.
22. Marquis de Sade's Guide to Making New Friends
(France, 1789) Everyone always says that if you want to make friends, you shouldn't hurt people but rather be nice to them. But if these people had friends, they wouldn't be going around giving advice to small children, would they? Besides, girls always fall for jerks anyway. The Marquis de Sade shows you the real way to make, keep, and gratify your friends, as well as your enemies.
21. Spot's Last Visit to the Vet
(UK, 1992) A controversial but light-hearted introduction to the taboo of of animal necrophilia.
20. Fornicaters Rot In Eternal Hell
(UK, 2003) A christian teaching guide for curious children.
19. Noddy gets Slayed
(UK, 1968) Enid Blyton's tale of Noddy, the Birmingham glamrock pixie.
18. E is for Eugenics
(Germany, 1939) Written by Heinrich Himmler, it explains why certain people (eg. Jews, anybody with a birth defect, anybody who is mentally ill or retarded) should not be allowed to have babies and contaminate the gene pool and reduce the potential of the human race.
17. The Manhole; A Fantasy Exploration for Children of all Ages
(US, 2001), Written by Michael Jackson, The Manhole depicts one you boys magical journey to Never Land through Michael Jackson's manhole.
16. Boy Meets Car
(Mexico, 2002) A safety manual for boys growing up in the fast-paced world of windshield-washing
15. Watch my Magic Snake Grow!
(USA 1976) Written by John Holmes this pop-up book shows a magic snake growing in size until it finds its den where it lets go of its magic milk. There is a section where the kid is to help milk the magic snake.
14. The Adventures of Mudbelly
(USA 1956) Wizened, old Blues Guitarist bemoans his recently deceased canine companion and his ex-partner. It was a bad morning all round.

What Makes a bad Porn Movie?
Before we can begin to identify the worst 100 porn movies of all time, we need to first define what a bad porn movie is. Unlike regular movies, porn does not need to focus that much on plot or character development. No, the point of a porn movie is to get your rocks off. Thus, the issue probably boils down to this: would most connoisseurs of porn consider the film to be jackoffable or jackawful.
[edit]
The List
According to God's True Word, the following are the worst 100* porn movies ever made.** Readers are required to have their sporks to hand.
* God does not care to count this list too closely, and believers are wise not to criticise divine numeration policy.
** Some movies may not in fact be porn.
[edit]
100 to 91
100. Sir Lancelot Gets Lanced A Lot
(USA, 1975) Not much to note, other then Sir Lancelot is impaled on the end of a giant lance.
99. Your Body and You - Part 2, Coitus and Reproduction
(USA 1954) Describes the mechanics of human sexual intercourse, using only cheap animated stills. Most noted for a lack of a money shot.
98. Ernest Goes to the Red Light District
(MB 1992) The bumbling Ernest accidentally stumbles upon a life of crime, sex, and dirty money. Hilarity ensues.
97. Lord of the Cock Rings - The Two Towers
(New Zealand, 2002). Part two in the Lord of the Cock Rings Trilogy. Gimli performs a "Helm's Deep" on Legolas (please don't use your imagination).
96. Shame On Me - The Dan Quisenberry Story
(USA, 1995). Filmed on home video by ball player Dan Quisenberry, this film chronicles his obsession with masturbation while receiving cancer treatment, and was released at his funeral by his wife.
95. Asthmatic Girls in the Smoking Section
(USA, 2002) Considered by some (Bob Thornton) to be one of the "greatest fetish videos of all time." Considered by most (everyone else) to have no substance or hot action whatsoever. Even Jesse Helms asked, "Where's that steamy beaver-bumping action when you need it?"
94. Bambi
(RKO Pictures, 1942) A Walt Disney film about a deer's loss of parents, and a thematic exploration on the nature of life.
93. The Three Stooges Meet Max Hardcore
(USA 1937) The Three Stooges take jobs as stagehands on a Max Hardcore movie. When Max gets sick the boys are asked to fill in for him.
92. The Golden Girls Go Wild
(USA, 2002) The girls test their hip replacements out to the max in this grizzly adventure.
91. Pron
(USA, 1982) A large number of naked girls get trapped inside my computer, I can see them when I open certain folders on my hard drive.
[edit]
90 to 76
90. Driving Miss Daisy from Behind
(USA, 1990) Jessica Tandy needed the money badly.
89. The President's Diaries
(USA, 2001) A 2.5 hour long glimpse into the supposed affairs of Bill Clinton. His fear of Hillary led to him not doing much for the film, and most of the movie focused on Monica (played by Katie Holmes), who tried to make the movie work. A failed attempt, as not one ticket nor one DVD/video has been sold in the 4 years since the release. The movie, sadly enough, is the reason Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are "together".
88. Horny Potter F%%$#ing F$$%@$s the Sorcerer in the A#$$
(2001) The ineptly titled porn parody to "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone". Suggestions originally started from Horny Potter and the Sorcerer's Bone, and Hairy Porter makes the Sorcerer Moan, then degrading into Hairy F$$%$ing Penis makes the Sorcerer F%^3ing Groan and so forth. Gradually, the focus of the filmmaking was drawn from the hardcore action to the title. The "crack team" (Ricky and Joey) spent a matter of minutes attempting to agree on a title. It ultimately was doomed to porn obscurity, but remains a testament to half-assed (heh-heh) work in the porn industry.
87. Rita Does Dallas
(2005) Low budget independently made pornographic flick. Universally panned by critics, but noted for the awesome blowjobs.

You DO NOT want to know what happens next..!
86. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Bordels
(USA, 2005) Movie is weak compared to the book, what consisted of hardcore Lesbian action - instead the movie takes us to the Darkest Bordels of the Universe. The movie consists of seven hours of crazy Vogon porn (blowjobs, hand-rubbing and sludging) and Marvin giving cunnilingus to Trillian (critics all over the world have agreed that the best part in the whole movie is where Marvin rubs his enormous head against Trillian's clit and mutters: "What's the point".
85. The Woman in Me
(1995) Shania Twain's first entry into the Porn market was a disappointment in comparison to 'Come On Over' (1999) - released in Holland as "Come On Over (My Pert Boobies)" - and 'Up!' (2002).
84. I saw Mummy Gobbling Santa Claus
(1993) Festive Fun for all the Family.
83. Pokemon Bukkake!
(2003) Pikachu tries to get 'em all.
82. Cheese Fetish
(France, 2002) What some women do with their roquefort - you'll be left hungry after their performance.
81. Innuendo
(USA, 1999) HBO's foray into soft-soft-core porn. Lots of vague talking by fully clothed couples sitting on beds. Each scene ends with the camera panning to the right and going slowly out of focus.
80. Five Go Mad in Dorking
(UK, 1973) Enid Blyton's only foray into the hardcore market sees Julian, Dick, Anne and George joined by John Holmes for a rollicking adventure in the suburbs.
79. 7-Up
(USA, 1998) 7-Up, an Oscar nominated 1998 film, starring Jenna Jameson, was based on Shakespeare's King Lear, and had been THE hit at Cannes upon its release.
78. Sackers
(USA, 1995): Sackers whole point in life was to show off Angelina Jolie in all her facets, and disguise it ever so much by creating a story about teens who spend too much time on MSN.
77. Animal Fun
(Pacific Ocean, 2003) A series of clips involving various common pets with no clothes on. Widely considered to have led to the creation of the Animal Rights movement.

This is NOT Chandler Bang
76. Chandler's List
(USA, 1944) A spin-off from Friends, after the producers noted that Sex in the City scored rather better ratings. "Could it be any sadder?", Chandler Bang's frequent dialogue tries to keep it together, failing miserably. The only highlights are Courtney Cox's full-frontal nude scenes.
[edit]
75 to 51
75. 24, Day 3
(Germany, 3001) A real-time episodal porn movie starring Elisha Cuthbert, the main plot revolves around terrorists gang-banging. Noted for the worst camera work ever.
74. Fists of Fury
(Hong Kong, 1972) Badly dubbed Asian Porn.
73. Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Giving Head
(USA, 1993) Christian Applegate goes WAY too far!
72. Ace Ventura, Pet Addictive
(USA 1992) Sweet jesus stop!
71. Raging Bullhorn
(USA 1954) Not to be confused with the Robert De Niro boxing classic.
70. South Pork
(USA 2001) Cartman and the guys get funky!
69. Bender Like Beckham
(UK 2002) Homosexual icon demonstrates "keepy uppy" with his balls.
68. Dick, Tracy!
(USA 1990) Lovely girl Tracy finds she's not that lovely, and mostly not that girl and exploits her/his new feature.
67. Wilde Wilde Wet
(USA 1999) Produced, performed and directed by Mae West, it's a short movie about her fantasies on Oscar Wilde
66. Horny Potter - The Pornographer's Bone!
(Russia 1842) Young bakers apprentice Horny explores the wonderfful magic of the 'wand'.
65. Biker Nuns on Viagra 3
(USA 1992) Exciting conclusion to the Biker Nuns trilogy sees Mother "Feeling" Superior getting back into her old habits. I am really very sorry.
64. A Penis is a Warm Gun
(UK 1969) She's not a girl who misses much. She's well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand, like a lizard on a window pane. The man in the crowd with the multicolored mirrors on his hobnail boots, lying with his eyes while his hands are busy working overtime.
63. The Starr Report
(USA 1999) This film attempted to capture the hot cigar on pussy action of the Clinton-Lewsinsky affair. Due to a misunderstanding in direction Gene Shalit was cast as Bill Clinton and Starr Jones played the part of Monica Lewinski.
62. A Hardon Day's Night
(UK 1965) The Beatles star in their first porn flick. Unfortunately this movie showed way too much Ringo.
61. The Ladies Man
(USA 2000) This movie is the first time a Saturday Night Live skit has been spun off into a porno movie. Like many movies of a similar stripe, it sucked.
60. Shaved by the Bellend
(USA 1992) Porno spoof of the popular highschool drama, starring Ron Jeremy as "Squealch".
59. Sex Toy Story
(USA 1995) A CGI porn film in which Andy Dick's favorite Dildo, Woody (voiced by Tom Hanks), is replaced by a more modern vibrator, Buzz Lightyear (voiced by Tim Allen). Woody has to learn to accept his new friend. The worst part of this movie is that it stars Andy Dick.
58. Look Who's Porking!
(USA 1995) Why has Tom Selleck got a cheesy grin? You're about to find out...
57. OklaHOma!
(Oklahoma 1977) A porn adaptation of the Rogers and Hammerstein classic. Noted for its exceptionally bad sound track which attempted to take the music from the original and put it to a 70's funk beat.
56. Tapping Amanda
(USA 2003) Major Samantha "Sam" Carter takes one up the stargate. See Amanda Tapping
55. The Love Boat
(USA 2005) A documentary of the Minnesota Vikings sex cruise. Unfortunately it contains scenes of the team's offensive line stripping.
54. Spooge Party XVI
(USA 2002) John Woo takes up the Directoral reins in this disappointing return of Meryl Streep's Mary Jane.
53. Gelegentliche Leute engagieren sich im lieblosen sexuellen Verkehr
(Germany 1961) a.k.a. Random people engage in loveless sexual intercourse. A modernist porn classic.
52. Sock-Puppet Gangbang
(USA 1991) Things take a turn for the sexy when a plane full of hookers crash on gumdrop mountain.
51. Creamer versus Creamer
(USA 1976) Good Lord, it's everywhere.
[edit]
50 to 43
50. The Bitches of Madison County
(USA 1995) Clint Eastwood (realizing he was born to do porn after having good look at his name) stars as a photographer who spends four magical days of the year 1960 with 16 submissive black women.
49. Fistful of Dildos
(Spain 1967) Spagetti Western Pornflick starring Clit Westwood as the "Man with No Knob".
48. The Missionary
(UK 1982) Monty Python's Michael Palin enjoys himself in this softcore sex romp.
47. Mr. Smith does Washington
(2003, USA) James Stewart stars as Jefferson Smith, a highschool cheerleader with a crush on Denzel Washington.
46. Fill Bill
(USA, 2005) Some obscure gay porn stars star in this x-rated parody of Kill Bill. Bad use of samurai swords as dildos makes this movie one of the worste, not to mention it's gay porn.
45. Scooby Doo and the Mystery of the Cock Ness Monster
(USA, 1983) Mr. T stars as the Cock Ness Monster, and an actual dog plays Scooby, who joins in the action.
44. Cocky
(USA, 1989) Sylvester Stallon stars as Cocky, the people's champ of cock fighting, who must defend his title against a Soviet super hulk.
43. Free Willy
(USA, 1993) Ron Jeremy stars as Keiko, a lovable whale.
[edit]
42 to 23

Wayne Rooney performing in the Theatre of Wet Dreams
42. Shrek
(USA, 2001) Wayne Rooney's first film away from the Vaudeville circuit, sees him servicing the needs of the eldery people of Florida. Look out for a rare appearance from veteran actress Elaine Stritch.
41. The Penetrator
(USA, 1985} A sex machine is sent back through time on a mission to penetrate as many women named Sarah Connor as possible, in an effort to stop sex symbol of the 2030's John Connor from being born, but is ultimately responsible for the impregnation which leads to his birth.
40. One Came Over the Cuckoo's Nest
(USA, 1974) Wristslappin' Action Movie from the Director of "Die Hard On".
39. Bruce Allnighty
(USA, 2002) Comedy in which sick and tired Porn star God, endows poor performing Bruce with his unstoppable sexual prowess for a whole night.
38. Dr. Strangelove
(UK, 1901) Stanley Kubrick's first and only foray into the world of 'Strangelove', featuring numerous banned scenes, such as the infamous deep goat throat.
37. American History XXX
(USA, 1993) The descendants of George Washington shag their way through the struggle for independance, The Civil War, World War I & II, Vietnam and the Gulf War.
36. Shaving Private Ryan
(USA, 1998) US soldiers desperately try to shave their comrade, Private Ryan, who's stationed behind enemy lines. For some reason it was released in Canada as Shaving Ryan's Privates.
35. Sin City
(Italy, 1987) At the Vatican, a previously chaste nun discovers just what miraculous powers the Pope is really endowed with.
34. Forrest Hump
(USA, 1994) Forrest Hump, while not intelligent, has the stamina of a bull and is accidently present at many historic moments throughout pornographic history.
33. The Man in the Leather Mask
(France, 1998) Amazing romp of sadism set in revolutionary France, featuring porn trio, The Three Musketeers.
32. Snatch
(UK, 2000) Intimate documentary exploring female genitalia.
31. The Sexorcist
(USA, 1981) Bizarre black and white remake which went on to gain prolific status, for its 6 minute, colour crucifix masturbation scene (which was entirely ripped from the original).
30. Reservoir, Doggie Style
(USA, 1991) Quentin Tarantino's first and last foray into the world of hardcore porn, giving us a brief glimpse into the world of Mr. Pink's sexual escapades.
29. The Dominatrix
(USA, 1999) In a world controlled by Microwave ovens, is it even possible to get a real erection? Be sure to take the red pill.
28. When Harry met Sally 2 — Harry meets Sally's Sister
(USA, 1992) Billy Crystal in a last desperate ditch attempt to jumpstart his dead career. Meg Ryan wisely declined the dubious honour of portraying both Sally and her twin sister. The film was unsurprisingly a box office hit in Nicaragua and Japan.
27. The Butcher's Wife 2 — Jackoffal
(France, 2001) Demi Moore reprises her role as the Butcher's Wife, showing just how sexy salami can really be.
26. A Minge too Far
(UK, 1950) A tale set against the backdrop of WWII, the 2nd World Wrestling championships. The lead accidentally goes down on the wrong minge.
25. XXX-Ray — Röntgen's Delight
(Germany, 2005) In probably the most bizarre turn of the pr0n industry, some German art house directors recorded a gang bang... using X-Ray film. Giving new meaning to 'being inside of someone', it earned critical acclaim from Mediocre Britain's Medical Association.
24. Mork love Pork
(USA, 1979) Probings applenty as Mork goes in search of Uranus.
23. American Cream Pie
(USA, 2007) This time Shannon Elizabeth is really going to get it.
[edit]
22 to 11
22. Charlie and The Chocolate Factory 3 — Chocolate Starfish
(USA, 2008) Charlie learns about the dark side. Quite likely the worst gay porn movie.
21. Kinkilympics 2001
(Poland, 2001) Shot as a documentary of the 2001 Kinky Olympics, featuring the adult sports of pole vaulting, bush diving, clam eating, and dozens others. Nicknamed 2001 hideously ugly eastern european porn stars with nothing to do on a friday, the film was universally panned, and directly reponsible for 2001 being the first and last year to have a Kinkilympics.
20. Zoolander 2
(USA, 1999) Billed as "Bestiality fun for the whole family", this film depicts a male model what can't read very good. Needless to say it bombed, his target audience couldn't read the directions to the theatres.
19. Monty's Python — The Horny Gail
(UK, 1987) Another bestial flick, this time from the Brits. Not suitable for those suffering from Ophidiophobia (fear of snakes), or Gailnomiphobia (fear of people named Gail).
18. Oral Hygiene — The Saga Begins
(USA, 2005) A very strange collection of toothbrushes performing fellatio on one another, cut in a modern style reminiscent of MTV commercials.
17. Catholic Schoolgirls get Down Under 156
(Australia, 1968) The same tired old plaid skirts turned upside down, notable for a total lack of Schoolgirls.
16. Grannies Get Gorey 2 — Alliteration Affects Almost All Arses
(UK, 2005) Watch Wonderfully Wild Women Woo Wayward Wraights.
"Toothless grannies try to seduce mythical creatures in this one. That I can stomach... but it's the insane alliteration that really gets to me."
~ Oscar Wilde
15. Mistress of Spices — Black Pepper
(UK, 2005) Frequently mistaken for a cooking show, this film shows a woman handling all sorts of spices in the kitchen. Claimed to have been the highlight of an independent film festival, but falling seriously short when it comes to hot action... unless you count the times where the chilis vanished.
14. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
(USA, 1968) Even worse than Herbie Does Dallas, a whole gang bang of cars appears in this film. Starring Dick Van Dyke, the first male lesbian.
13. Star Wars - The Empire Gets Back
(USA, 1984) Thought by many to be a product placement scam by the Star Wars Marital Aids Empire.
12. Star Wars - A New Ho'
(USA, 1977) Managed to "beat off" the only other film from the Trilogy to feature in the list, this 70s BDSM classic featured a "LightSabre" fight, as well as the first footage of the "Vader's Helmet" toy.
11. The Flash
(USA, 1992) Low budget. Lone guy with a trenchcoat. Barely pR0n.
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10 to 1

Bedknobs and Brown Dicks retailed with a very collectable front cover
10. Bed Knobs and Brown Dicks
(USA/UK 1935) An perculiar combination of live action and animated footage, in this pioneering, inter-racial production.
9. Sex Trek III — The Search for Cock
(USA, 1982) Kirk feels guilty for the suffering caused to the crew of the XXX Enterprise via the loss of their beloved Cock, and promises to hunt some down.
8. Sex Trek II — The Wrath of Cunt
(USA, 1980) A cunt is deserted on a desert planet, and vows to take revenge.
7. Sex Trek IV — The Bondage Home
(USA, 1984) The crew travels through time and space to find The House of Bondage.
6. Face/On
(Mexico, 1999) Thanks to a revolutionary medical technique, a man's face is surgically connected to a woman's crotch, in an attempt to infiltrate a criminal organisation.
5. Total Bar Brawl
(USA, 2001) A young Austrian-American called Quaid is sent to Mars to stamp out a bar brawl, only to fall in love with the Triple-breasted Whore of Eroticon 6.
4. Done in Sixty Seconds
(USA, 2004) A retired porn star is forced back into the industry and must fuck 50 women in one night to save his brother's life.
3. Jet Stream is... The Wand
(USA/Hong Kong, 2000) A young man from Hong Kong visits every multiverse in existence so he can rape himself in every last one of them. Only when he's raped all his selves will he find the awesome power of The Wand.
2. Womb Raider
(USA, 2003) A big breasted adverturer dives beyond the abyss of the cervix.
1. The Sodfather
(USA, 1976) The aging patriarch of an organized sex dynasty transfers control of his clandestine porn empire to his reluctant son.
Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Worst_100_Porn_Movies_of_All_Time"

It's A Monday

2005-11-07T18:54:00.000-02:00

Ranger Tom, Zombie Lama - I’m sorry! I know that I have been off the blog recently. All I can say is that being understaffed makes for an exciting time and I really and truly hate it. Mostly because it leaves me exhausted and wide open to those delightful flu bugs. Fortunately, drugs are available at the local Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, especially since I fully intended to bake this weekend, I did nothing beyond sleep and pretend to function at work.

This has been 1 of the few times I have been grateful that this job is so mindless. I have been tanked up on NyQuil & DayQuil & a true zombie.

I am beyond brain dead right now. I just want to sleep yet if I do not show up, it throws an already bad staffing situation into the sort of chaos that I will feel guilty about. I hate feeling guilty and being catholic, I feel guilt remarkably easily.

I wish that I could say something about the past week or so, but well, it is all a blur. I know that I watched Jet Li’s “Unleashed,” and enjoyed it. I know that I read several dozen books and enjoyed them all, but it would take more brain cells than I currently have to tell you what I read. I know that several projects have been completed here at work. I can name those because I am looking right at them.

We have decorated for Thanksgiving. The inventory process has been completed and the equipment sent on. The nonfiction has been shifted and sometime this week I will finish the biographies, reference, mysteries & inspirational sections. What is scary about that is the fact that while there are more sections, they still only equal out to ½ the adult nonfiction. I have plans to weed the collection soon and that is the highlights of my work. Excitement.

It amazes me how incredibly busy this place can be when 1 or more staff members are gone. When I have a full staff, I can get everything on my plate accomplished, come up with make work for volunteers, assign jobs to my staff, and we can all have plenty of time to still read a book or 2 a day. Yet 1 person takes off, and all bets are off.

Last night I watched 1 of the few shows I make a point of watching – Extreme Home Make Over on ABC. I know it is a bunch of sentimental crap and there are numerous flaws, but I still like the show. I know that questions like how are they going to pay for the new & improved power bill are floating about in these new home owners heads, but still! These are incredible houses geared specifically towards these families. There are millions of families just like these who need help just as badly, but it does not change the fact that these specific families now have better, safer homes. Every single bit helps.

After that, I watched the anime “Gantz.” Let me say that is 1 of the more interesting animes I have seen in a long time and exmi’s brother is obviously sadistic because he only gave exmi vol.’s 1 through 3! I appreciate how exmi shared the animes despite being tortured with Extreme Home Make Overs. However, I want to know what happens next! I refuse to be patient!

Zombie Lama tagged me with this & I have been sitting on it for a while.

Seven things I want to do before I die:
1. Go to the San Diego Zoo
2. Spend a month touring the Smithsonian
3. Travel to New Zealand
4. Go on a photographic safari of Africa
5. See the Great Wall of China
6. Go to the National Zoo
7. Write & publish several books

Seven things I can do (Skills Napoleon):
1. Organize anything
2. Clean almost anything
3. Read ridiculously fast
4. Attract 4 legged fuzz buckets in alarming quantities
5. Find resources
6. Avoid unpleasantness
7. Delegate unwanted chores

Seven things I cannot do:
1. Say “I am not interested,” to telemarketers
2. Be social
3. Cope with stupidity
4. Work on cars
5. Anything related to plumbing
6. or electrical work
7. Dance

Seven things I say a lot :
1. Really?
2. Uh Huh
3. Hello
4. How can I help you?
5. Why?
6. What the hell/fuck is this?
7. O-Kay

Seven things I find attractive in a male:
1. Their voice
2.Their face
3. Their smell
4. Sense of humor
5. Ability to laugh
6. Ethics
7. Eyes

Seven celebrity crushes?
1. Jason Stratham
2. Patrick Stewart
3. Viggo Mortenson
4. ????
5. ????
6. ????
7. ????

And I know that I am supposed to tag 7 others, but everyone has already done this, so why bother?

For the record, I am ready to go home. It is 6:50 pm & I get off at 8 pm, but I was ready at 2 pm to go home to bed. It does not help that I still need to run by WalMart & the bank & take care of all those "little" 5 minute chores. I might skip them all & just get up ridiculously early tomorrow & take care of everything then.